I agree with this. You're being too needy right now. You need to stiffen up that spine a little. I don't agree with his constant advice for you to play games with this girl, even though it seems like she might be playing a little with you now.
I'm not saying that everybody has to play games all the time, but in this particular case, this girl is gaming him hardcore. Re-read his posts. The asking if he would take her back? 100% gaming. He needs to start playing, or just drop it completely.
Bingo, but I'd just drop it and move on. If you don't know how to play the game properly (and it sounds like he doesn't), he'll just get hurt a lot more and feel even worse
Pretty much every 'girl problem' thread in this forum is exactly the same (it seems). I'll give the same answer I give in all of them. She doesn't know what she wants. Move on. This should be an automated response to all of these threads.
Yeah, these threads are awfully repetitive. I can understand all of the whining and crying like a 5 year old girl if you have been together for years but after a couple of months? Jesus guys, grow some balls. It isn't like there aren't a million other women out there.
Cut him some slack, people react differently to this stuff and it's all a learning process. Everyone goes through the first ****ty breakup where they feel like garbage. Now if he ever complains again on this forum about a relationship, then you're absolutely right.
We're not trying to be funny or a-holes (well, at least I'm not ), we're just saying it's silly to be so distraught over a girl that you've only known for 5 months, especially when she basically tells you that she doesn't want to be with you anymore. It takes a good year before you really know someone. Sometimes even longer than that. Take the emotion out of it and just move on. There's no point in calling her to tell her "she's making a mistake but you respect her decision and that it was fate if you were to get together again." (That was an odd thing to do)
Relationships and feelings towards another person are never this black and white. I had made the decision that I was going to marry my wife less than five months into it. Had something happened to our relationship at that point, I would have been devastated. Same with my brother who was engaged to his wife (now of 16 years) less than a week after their first date.
Grasshopper, there is much bad advice in this thread masquerading as good. Some of you people should be ashamed. rm365, you should do a post-mortem on why the crash and burn happened. There is likely blame that can be shared by both of you. You should ask yourself the following questions: how important is this relationship to me? can I be a better bf? is this girl worth it? If you do decide to continue, you need to apologize about the ultimatum. You should preface the apology with "my feelings got the best of me". Chicks dig that feelings-talk crap.
Relationships are never all the same and they develop very differently depending on the people involved. Some guys just literally refuse to let themselves get emotionally invested in a relationship and as a result, they'll never get attached to a girl. Others let themselves jump right in and as a result they always end up pushing for a serious relationship. You can't make blanket statements like that. I agree that he should try to just move on and give up on the idea of getting back together with her. But a little sensativity from our part is the least we can do. It's obvious this is his first bad breakup and consequently he has little experience in dealing with the situation. I personally believe every person has the right to b**** and complain after the first breakup with someone you were really attached to. It's just natural and I'm sure if you were in his situation, you would probably do the same. He'll learn from this and won't fall apart again like he is now. Like I said, it's all a learning process and relationships that crash and burn like this are also excellent crash courses on the do's and don'ts of a relationship. If he comes out of this on the right end, he'll pretty much know what to and not to do in the future.
4 real... Youknow, I haven't read every post, but Internet dating is ok, but unusual to find a relationship out if it...I did, but not without problems, but that's true in any relationship...If she is using match again, forget about it... If she can't handle the real you, you need to move on and go back on match and date one of her friends... btw, never, ever, issue an ultimatum...That is a death sentance...
My suggestion to feel better is to focus on the negative things about her. What are some things she did or said that you disliked or annoyed you? List them, we will blow them out of proportion, and then by the end of it you will be entirely convinced that she was Attila the Hun incarnate and you narrowly escaped with your life.
I asked my wife to marry me after we had been dating five months (okay, five and a half, but still). Then, we were married five months after that. That was nine years ago. Sometimes, you just know. I am not saying that this is necessarily that kind of case, particularly since she "needs space" after a five month long relationship. I am just saying that five months is plenty of time to know that you have the right person.
Of course nothing is ever black and white. There are always exceptions. If 2 people both know for sure what they want, then it can work after 1 date. I'm just saying that's not usually the case, especially in your early 20's. Me personally, I have a 1 year rule. The M word doesn't even enter my mind until after a good solid year dating with few if any red flags. I know everyone is different, that's just my personal rule. Of course, that's why I'm still single... But another way to look at it is that's also why I'm not divorced with 3 kids.
Totally incorrect. Apologizing will only make matters worse, if he still has hopes of getting back wit h her. By apologizing, he's further removing himself from behavior consistent with a dominant male. Chicks definitely don't dig "that feelings talk" crap when the relationship is at this stage. (She's **** testing him, wanting space, probably seeing other guys).
Dominant male? That is just what every woman needs!!! Do you piss on your gf's door to let the other dominant males know that she is taken?
