Some of the recent threads in the Hangout have got me to remembering some of my favorite one liners from movies over the years. There are so many from classics to hilarious, unknown ones and then some new ones as well. What are some of your favorite one liners from movies in the past or present?
"Look what I can do!" "Noooo!" "Let me do it!" "Dooooon't" "I don't want to say it" -stuart http://stuartlarkin.cjb.net/
You are EVIL. This is one of my favorite things in the world - quoting movie lines. Just ask my wife! Here are a few: "I gotta go. I'm due back on the planet earth." Woody Allen in Annie Hall "The doctor said I swallowed a lot of agression...along with a lot of pizzas!" John Candy in Stripes "You're a pimp! You look like Ghandi." Bachelor Party Albert: Don't take that tone with me. Armand: What tone? Albert: That sarcastic contemptuous tone that says you know everything because you're a man and I know nothing because I'm a woman. Armand: You're not a woman. Albert: Oh, you b*stard! - The Birdcage Shooter: I eat **** like you for breakfast. Happy: You eat **** for breakfast? - Happy Gilmore "Pimps is such an ugly word. We can call ourselves 'love brokers.'" - Michael Keaton in Night Shift "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick." - Bill Murray in Ghostbusters Woody: "You have air conditioning down here?" Devil: "Sure. It ****s up the ozone layer." - Woody Allen and Billy Crystal in Deconstructing Harry "I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue." - Lloyd Bridges in Airplane "And then, depression set in." - Bill Murray in Stripes "Sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here." Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets I puked in front of Dean Wormel. Face it, Kent. You puked ON Dean Wormel. - Animal House Are you boys the police? No ma'am. We're musicians. - Blues Brothers Wyatt: You feel like a chicken, Gary. Gary: Wyatt, if I could shoot an egg out of my ass right now, I would. - Weird Science My nuts is halfway up my ass but other than that, I'm perfect! - Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science Those would just be the funny one's that I can think of at the moment.
This one time at band camp... -American Pie It's a godd*mn lamp. Yeah, but it's loaded. -Great Outdoors
Mrs. White: He threatened to kill me in public. Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public? - Clue. "With your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody." - Ferris Bueller's Day Off "You think we watch any of your movies, Harry? I've seen better film on teeth." - Bo Catlett, Get Shorty Chili Palmer: What is this? Rental Car Attendant: An Oldsmobile Silhouette. Chili Palmer: I reserved a Cadillac. Rental Car Attendant: Yeah, well, this one's the Cadillac of minivans. - Get Shorty "You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards." - Fletch Maude Lebowski: You can imagine where it goes from here. The Dude: He fixes the cable? - The Big Lebowski "I'm just going to go find a cash machine" - The Big Lebowski "Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon--with nail polish." - The Big Lebowski The Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man. Walter Sobchak: You mean... beyond pacifism? - The Big Lebowski H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear. Parole Board Member: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that? - Raising Arizona "Now, what's it gonna be young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 'Cause if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion." - Raising Arizona "Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body." - Mighty Aphrodite Carol Lipton: Larry, I think she's dead! Larry Lipton: Try giving her the present. - Manhattan Murder Mystery "Some day you'll have my children. In fact, they're in the car if you want them." - Brain Donors "No?" Flakfizer doesn't know the MEANING of the word "No!" We're also a little fuzzy on "panaglutin" and "viscosity." - Brain Donors and so on.
the nazis had pieces of flare and they made the jews wear them-office space this is pure snow! do you know the street value of this mountain top?-better of dead it's just a flesh wound!-holy grail franks and beans...franks and beans...-something about mary everytime im in the kitchen you in the kitchen-friday did i say that out loud?-fear and loathing i just get all nervous!-trainspotting i'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.-clue
Wayne: "A gun rack? A gun rack. I don't own a gun -- let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. Stacy, what am I going to do...with a gun rack?" And from Blazing Saddles: "Where're all the white woman at?" Not always the best lines, but the ones that get me every time.
"Why am I his sidekick? How do you know he's not my sidekick" - Mallrats "Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?" Three Amigos
Well, I could quote a million one-liners that I love, but I instead will stick to one movie that has a boatload of one-liners. In fact, as far as one liners go, I think this movie has some of the best of all time. Army of Darkness First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow. Give me some sugar, baby. Now, this is my BOOM stick! It's a 12 gauge, remington shotgun. S-Mart's to of the line. Retails for about $299. That's right, this baby's made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It's got a walnut stock, blue steel barrel, and a hair trigger. Shop smart. Shop, S-Mart. Have you got that!?!? You found me beautiful once. Honey, you got realll ugly. Good. Bad. I'm the one with the gun. Well, helllooo Mr. Fancy Pants. I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things, Jack and ****. And Jack left town. Come get some. Lady, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store. Who the hell are you? Names Ash. Housewares. Groovy That's all I have time for tonight. I know I miss some, and I know that most of the Army of Darkness quotes aren't really funny unless it is The Great Bruce Cambell saying them, but I love to remember.
There are many movies that are just full of good lines. Mel Brooks movies are especially full of great lines. "Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish...." "Send wire, main office, tell them I said ow, gotcha!" Charlie: They said you was hung! Bart: And they was right! "Excuse me while I whip this out." "Little b*stard shot me in the ass!" "Oh! It's twue! It's twue!" - Blazing Saddles Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: What knockers! Inga: Oh, thank you doctor! Igor: Dr. Frankenstein... Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen." Igor: You're putting me on. Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen." Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"? Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No... "Frederick." Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"? Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen." Igor: I see. Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You must be Igor. [He pronounces it ee-gor.] Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor." Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor." Igor: Well, they were wrong, weren't they? "He's going to be very popular." "What hump?" - Young Frankenstein "So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard! That's the kind of combination an idiot would put on his luggage!" "Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?" "I bet she gives great helmet." - Spaceballs "It's good to be the king." - History of the World, Part I
Blazing Saddles: "Sir, uh sir, he specifically requested two *******...well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch." "Excuse me while I whip this out..." "A wed wose, how womantic!" The Princess Bride: "No more rhymes now, I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?" Airplane!: "You ever been down. In the mud. And kicked. In the Head. With an Iron Boot. Of course you haven't. No one has. It's a stupid question." "They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say...Let 'em crash!!" Fletch: "I'm Frieda's boss" "Who's Frieda?" "My Secretary" Caddyshack: "You do drugs, Danny?" "Everyday" "Good."
"I crap bigger'n you." Jack Palance, City Slickers "I see what I have to do. I have to keep this party going. I'm going to take one for the team." Stifler, American Pie 2
Here are a few I thought of: Martin Lawerence in "Bad Boys" "It's like this car is a dick and we're the two balls being dragged along" John Candy in "Splash" "Are any of you from Penthouse magazine?...Then we ain't talking!" Mike Myers in "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" "Hey, there you are!" "Well hi, do I know you?" "No but that's where you are, you there" Bill Murray in "Ghostbusters II" "There are exactly 3 million cmpletely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area" "Yeah right" "Oh excuse me, 3 million and one" Curtis Armstrong in "Revenge of the Nerds" "What the hell are robster craws?" Curtis Armstrong in "Revenge of the Nerds" We've got bush, we've got bush!" A.J. Johnson in "House Party III" "I'll kick you in your nuts and make your jaw swell." Samuel L. Jackson in "Fresh" "It tastes like a tub of piss somebody farted in." Richard Pryor in "See No Evil, Hear No Evil" "I'm black?!" Jackie Gleason in "The Toy" "It's US, you ass"
