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Dogs vs. Cats

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by giddyup, Dec 13, 2003.

  1. giddyup

    giddyup Member

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    Anyone with any good jokes or tales about the colliding worlds of dogs and cats?

    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

    8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite

    9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

    10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

    11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

    1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

    4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

    5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mum! My favorite!

    6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

    6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

    Day 183 Of My Captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

    Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
     
  2. Fatty FatBastard

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    That is funny. The cat reminds me of "Stewie" on Family Guy.
     
  3. Rockets2K

    Rockets2K Clutch Crew

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    Thats exactly the voice I imagined while reading that. :D
     
  4. GreenVegan76

    GreenVegan76 Member

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    LOL

    Me, too! :D




    [​IMG]
     
  5. meggoleggo

    meggoleggo Member

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    Bah! stupid cats. I love dogs. Ask Dallas, he thinks I'm nuts.
     
  6. Rockets2K

    Rockets2K Clutch Crew

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    [​IMG]

    Excellent!

    I knew you looked like a smart girl.
    Tell dt he's a lucky guy..;)
     
  7. Red Chocolate

    Red Chocolate Member

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    Cats do not eat their own feces. Can't say the same about dogs. :p
     
  8. fba34

    fba34 Member

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    i dont know why people have to choose one over the other. they're both great pets in their own ways.

    kind of like letterman vs leno. everyone thinks they have to choose one when in all fairness they both suck and whoever stays up to watch their show are just wasting thier time.
     
  9. MR. MEOWGI

    MR. MEOWGI Contributing Member

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    I love both, but you have to "baby" dogs more. Cats are low-maintenance and usually don't stink like dogs, but you can't take them to the beach...
     
  10. CriscoKidd

    CriscoKidd Member

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    The dog would snap the cat's neck and use the dead carcass as a chew toy.

    next.
     
  11. A-Train

    A-Train Member

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    [​IMG]

    I think I'm the only guy in the world that's a cat person...
     
  12. Falcons Talon

    Falcons Talon Member

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    I'm a cat person myself, even though I have three Dalmations and no cat at this time. Cats are more independent and relaxing to watch and play with...Now, when the time comes for running around and having the 2 year old puppy "cover" my step son while throwing the old pigskin around, dogs rule.
     
  13. Mulder

    Mulder Member

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    As soon as someone shows me a CAT that can fetch a beer from the fridge, I will start buying that cats are as good as dogs.
     
  14. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

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    Cats are cool. They're just so laid back and care free. How can you not respect that? All they want out of life is a place to eat, a place to sleep, and a place to poop. You gotta admire that...

    Dogs are great too except they smell and drool too much.
     
  15. VesceySux

    VesceySux World Champion Lurker
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  16. PieEatinFattie

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    I already have to provide food and lodging for 4 other beings that I love(wife and kids), why would I spend money to purchase something else that I have to provide for? My family has recieved cats and dogs from extended family members that couldn't provide for them anymore over the years and I can't stand either. Neither have provided sufficiant enjoyment to compensate for the funds wasted on them. I don't have to choose, I just don't like pets.
     
  17. ROCKSS

    ROCKSS Member
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    I`m a cat guy, but my GF loves dogs so of course we have 2 dogs :D 2 Papillions - Charlie and Rocket
     

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