What is your favorite joke that makes people laugh WAY AFTER the punchline is delivered? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There are three people standing outside of a house. A scientist, a theologian, and a mathmatician. The group observes several things while standing outside the house. One person walks in, and some time later two people leave. The scientist says, "That is bizarre. Some type of asexual reproduction must have taken place." The theologian says, "It takes two people to reproduce, therefore we witnessed a miracle." The mathmatician says, "I don't know about that stuff, but if one more person walks into that house, it will be empty."
Man, I could see keeley sitting around, looking at his "countdown clock", just waiting for the right moment... Great follow-up post!
This drunk guy leaves a party and hops in his car for home. He's on the freeway, swerving back and forth, when he drives off the side of the road and blows a tire. Pissed off, he picks up a brick and shatters his windshield. He looks across the feeder road and sees a bar, so he grabs his brick and heads to the bar for a drink to ease his pain. We walks in the bar, slams the brick on the bar, and asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender takes one look at the disheveled drunk with the brick and says "Sorry, you're too hammered. Go home." The drunk begins to argue, and being that he is a salesman, and noticing that the bartender has some decathalon trophy behind the bar, is able to sell him on the following deal: "How 'bout this? We go outside and we each throw this brick up in the air. If I throw it higher than you, I get a drink. If you throw it higher than me, I go home." The bartender determines that he is more of an athlete than the drunk and agrees. He goes outside, tosses the brick into the air, and it barely hits the low clouds before it comes back down. Then the drunk gets the brick. He tests the weight, stretches, and chucks the brick straight up. It goes into the clouds...and never comes back down. They wait awhile and then the bartender buys the drunk a whiskey.
this was not a delayed reaction joke, but rather a confused reaction joke cuz after 5 minutes, i still don't get it.
sorry- try this one: This guy gets on an airplane. He sits down in a window seat and an old lady sits down next to him. The flight takes off and the captain turns off the seat belt light and the no-smoking light (old joke). The guy takes out a cigar and is about to light up when the lady next to him asks him not to smoke because it will bother her and her poochie. "Poochie?" he asks. she reaches down and opens up her bag and a minature poodle jumps out. It is a rather annoying dog and it jumps all over him and his seat. He starts sneezing because of his allergies. He asks the lady if she will put the dog back in the bag, but she uncharacteristically tells him to shove it. Angered, he pulls out a stogie and lights it up, and starts blowing smoke in her face. So she starts coughing, he's sneezing, the dog is jumping all over the place, and the two of them are absolutely miserbable. Then the captain informs the passengers that due to bad weather, they will be in a holding pattern for a few extra hours (apparently they have extra fuel). The lady and the guy realize this cant go on. "Look lady, " he says. "Lets make a deal." [suspend reality here] "Lets open this window. I'll toss my cigar out and you toss out the dog." The lady is absolutely shocked by the offer and refuses to part with her dog. The man continues to blow smoke in her face. Finally, the lady can take it anymore and she caves in. She hands the poodle to the man, he opens the window (somehow he doesnt depressurize the cabin) and tosses the cigar and poodle out. The lady cries, but she can breathe again. The man stops sneezing. When the flight finally lands and they walk to the door, the man smiles and lights up a second cigar. "What a deal THAT was" he thinks as he walks down the stairs. Then he looks up at the wing of the plane and is shocked to see what is there. Sitting on the wing is the poodle. And in its mouth.....is......
My favorite was always this one: How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? [then just as the listener is preparing for their obligatory "I don't know" vehemently blurt out] That's not funny. or Q: How many Surrealist Painters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The Fish.
