I fear this thread might drift into D&D territory, but the original post was a great topic, so here goes... I think you're beginning to become more cogniscent of the difference between religion and faith. Religion is man's interpretation of God, whereas faith is your personal relationship with God. Religion can offer many wonderful things, like a support structure, a community feeling, charitable outreach, etc. However, it might come with a LOT of strings attached: dogma, stigmas, prejudice, exclusion. Take, for example, the most quoted verse in the Bible, John 3:16: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Nice, succinct. Sums up Christianity in a nutshell. However, the very nature of this verse is exclusionary. You could be the most charitable, caring, thoughtful, kind, and considerate person in the world, but if you don't believe in Jesus, you'll burn in Hell. I have trouble reconciling that with the concept of a loving and beneficent God. I wish I could give you the answers you're looking for, but I suspect that the only person who can do that is yourself. Until then, I think you might be better served talking this out with a true theologian rather than a basketball BBS (no offense, ClutchFans).
There are different ways of "interfering." God knows your heart and wants you to know His. If you know His heart intimately the issues of legalism will resolve themselves. Those are small and small-minded matters meant to put God in a box which give people a sense of power and control. He is bigger than that and don't let people -- even people you love but are mistaken-- limit your relationship with God. I think God weeps at our sinfulness rather than rails against it.
I always felt that the Rapture/End of Days crap is shoved down the throats of people who hope that the world will end before they have to live out their entire long painful miserable lives. I wouldnt count on it too much. So be good to people, be good to yourself, and let the rapture people read their Left Behind novels and go to Kurt Cameron autograph sessions. Oh, and Jesus made wine from water, not juice from water. So you not drinking is probably not impressing him too much.
Wow, I have pretty much the same story as you, ElPigto. It still gnaws at me - the youth pastor asking us every Sunday, "If you were to die in five minutes, are you 100% positive you'll go to heaven, or will you go to hell?" Every time, I said with everyone else, I'd go to heaven. But I had that terrible doubt in my mind. It's certainly been a process to undo what has been formed in my mind and accept myself as not only a questioning person, but someone who doubts this who rigid heaven/hell stuff. I love Jesus, I love the THOUGHT of God, but I admit, it's really hard to still accept things after seeking rationality and scientific thinking. It's hard to go to church, to read the Bible, when a lot of it just feels so wrong, and against what I truly believe. It's a process. I find myself enraptured by Eastern mysticism and a more intimate spirituality. I guess I'm one of those tons of people out there who consider themselves "spiritual, but not religious." It's just been really hard to reconcile my deepest convictions with the teachings of the church.
This is definitely one of the harder things I have had to face. A lot of times I feel confused about going away from what I was taught as a child. The problem is that I don't like what I was taught. I don't even agree with it anymore. I also like knowing myself as a spiritual person who is very much in touch with some spiritual side but sometimes I doubt myself if it even exist since I gone away from everything I use to believe in. I have accepted a few things already. One is definitely that I won't listen to what I am told all the time at church. I especially won't listen to those that condemn me for thinking the way I think. I find it ridiculous that they always told me at church that only God can pass judgment yet they tend to pass judgment on other people easily. I hate doing that to others. I remember one time I asked a friend when I was in fifth grade, "Who do you love more Jesus or your mom?" I remember he told me his mom and I told him he was wrong. I look back at that and think how stupid and horrible that was of me to attempt to change his mind. Its funny but I remember when they use to tell us that God has to be first above everybody even your own children. I have a hard time believing that such a selfish being would exist that he or she or it wouldn't be able to withstand humans having others higher on the list that himself. My friends and I discussed this one time and he was enraged that at church he had to put God above all. I think these are one of the things he ultimately decided to leave the church.
Good for you man, good for you. I am not a person of religion, I doubt I ever will be, but that doesn't mean I'm against others having a belief. There is a role for religion in a person's life, and it can do wonders. Your faith was tested and questioned through your trials of becoming a man, and I am very proud of you for deviating from what you were taught as a child to what you have eye witnessed and experienced as a young adult. Religion, in my honest to soul opinion, is to keep people on the right track. A trait that most of all civilization shares. The basics of our society and culture is founded on these principles. Without a sense of nurture, our world today would collapse. Hold on to your faith, you never know when you'll rekindle your love for the heavens.
finalsbound, I just wanted to tell you that I have found your struggles with religion and family as you've narrated them here, really admirable. As an agnostic I believe that if there is a god (and I definitely lean towards the affirmative), rationality and the scientific process are two of his greatest gifts. I believe that one of our primary purposes on earth is to observe and make sense of the world around us. Why else would god create the human mind and make it capable to reason?
When I die, i'm going to heaven because Jesus died on the cross for my sins! I know a lot of people don't agree with me and find their comfort in science and what they're sure about, but I love Jesus and I find comfort in knowing someday I will be in Heaven! The End.
