Ronald McDonald was finally brought to justice today on multiple heart attack induced murder counts. Story at 11.
"Look, officers, it was perfectly innocent! You know how it is! She said she wanted to taste my french frie, I said I'd love a piece of her apple pie, and things went on from there. She told me she was 18!"
The U.S goverment knew they couldn't bring Roanld down on Murder charges, so they built a small case which had lots of teeth. The Department of Hotel and Food Service slowly gathered eveidence that Millions of customers had been screwed out of an additional sweet sour sauce to go with their nuggets. Ronald is now facing three life terms. He is expected to plead guilty.
The ACLU has filed a motion to attempt to halt John Ashcroft's Patriot Act II, which, in addition to even further reaching invasive tactics by law enforcement, includes a provision stating that "if ya look like a serial killer, we charge you as one." The acts first arrest came today when Ronald McDonald was arrested for dressing liek serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Mr. McDonald will be held without counsel and without bond. John Wayne Gacy............ Mr. McDonald with counsel