REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent...............................12 Calories Without her consent..........................2187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands................................8 Calories With one hand.................................12 Calories With your teeth..............................485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection...............................6 Calories Without an erection.........................3315 Calories PRELIMINARIES: Trying to find the ****oris.....................8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary......................................12 Calories 69 lying down..................................78 Calories 69 standing up................................812 Calories Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories Doggy Style...................................326 Calories Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories ORGASMS: Real..........................................112 Calories Fake.........................................1315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging........................................... .......18 Calories Getting up immediately....................................... .......36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years....................................36 Calories 30-39 years....................................80 Calories 40-49 years...................................124 Calories 50-59 years..................................1972 Calories 60-69 years..................................7916 Calories 70 and over..............................Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly.........................................32 Calories In a hurry.....................................98 Calories With her father knocking at the door.........5218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door........13,521 Calories