I'm looking for the ebst method of ending a one night thing that she feels should be the beginning of a relationship. I was honest at the beginning and when we said goodnight. Somehow, though it didn't become clear, so I'm looking for ideas. The girl is sweet and I've unwittingly wronged her in the past, so I don't want to be a dick, so please don't offer the ignore her or tell her off choices. Help, help, help. Everyday that passes she becomes more convinced that something is there (and I don't even really talk to her!!!). Female opinions will be especially appreciated. ------------------
You MUST talk to her and be completely honest. Avoiding her won't help and you would suck if you told her off. Call her up. Sit her down in a neutral, non-romantic place - a park, a mall, etc. - and explain your honest feelings that you do not want to pursue a relationship with her and you're sorry if she felt misled by your one night stand. Best of luck. ------------------ So, I took the million dollars and bought a steam shovel...
thats the problem, though. i thought i WAS honest. i said i didn't have time or a desire for a relationship (both true). She said she didn't care and whatever was fine. maybe the setting is part of it, though. i'll try that. at this point, i'll take any and all options. thanks. ------------------
Be careful, you don't want to make her cry in a public place... ------------------ "Oh No..." -Bill Walton in 97 just before Stockton's buzzer beater
Don't take her to the park... I used to go there all of the time with my ex and there's always couples over there so scratch that setting for being a sterile unromantic place. I don't know about taking her to a public place though, that could just humiliate her more having her feelings hurt in front of a bunch of strangers. Maybe tell her in your car or something... Just be brutally honest with her, it's a crappy thing to do, but it's better than leaving her with an idea that something's there when it isn't. ------------------ Saturday, Donny, is shabbas, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't f***** ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as s*** don't f****** roll!
Tell her that you have plenty available bachelors on the BBS who would love to go out with her! ------------------ "We make more, but we spend more." Patrick Ewing
The problem with NOT taking her to somewhere neutral is that you end up either at her place or yours. That can create a VERY awkward and uncomfortable situation. Try your car somewhere near a park or something else. You don't want to be trapped by your location. ------------------ So, I took the million dollars and bought a steam shovel...
It sounds like you've done the right thing already by being totally upfront with her. If you don't ever really talk to her, what's the problem? How often do you actually talk to her and see her? ------------------ burp
Man, don't even joke about the pregnant thing. That's just frightening. It was a one time thing, so I'm not doing it anymore. Well, a one time thing over the last two years. Maybe a 3 or 4 time thing a few years before that. Yes, I know. I'm dumb, but it seemed so much cleaner back then. I don't talk to her because I don't tend to do much more than sleep in my home. I tend to be pretty scarce. The problem is that she got my cell number from my roommate (I always screen those calls). She got my e-mail address from search engines on the web. I can't have my cell rining all the time and getting weird e-mails from her. It's not cool. This chic is starting to scare me. I responded to her latest e-mail with a polite yet firm (I hope) message. So far so good. Of course that was only about 30 minutes ago. I've got my fingers, toes and everything else crossed. I'll tell her in the car, I'll tell her from a far. I'll tell her on the phone. I'll tell her all alone. I don't like you, you crazy m'am. I don't like you Sam I am. ------------------
That is the funniest thing I've read all day. Breakups by Dr. Seuss! ------------------ I'm about to boldly go where many men have gone before.
Gotta do this: check out www.PsychoExGirlfriend.com. Consider it an education and be careful about these casual relationships. I'm working on PsychoExWife! ------------------ Time is a great teacher-- only problem is it kills all its pupils.
Tell her once. If she doesn't get it the best answer is silence. Eventually she will go away and tire. Dealing with the situation gives her what she wants. It gives her an open door to communicate and talk. ------------------ humble, but hungry.
Stop having SEX with her for starters. now if youve done that, youre halfway there. Also, dont do Ecstacy with her, you will be with her for a year and a half. believe me, dude, it happens ------------------ Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Im not laughing! Im still trying to breakup with my ex girlfriend that i thought i broke up with in August!!! by the way this one is the best http://crazy-b****.com/ this guy sues his ex for destroying his place, he gets on Howard Stern, and now he makes money on the site. every piece of clothing including the ones in the hamper were unfolded, cut, folded back and put away . Every piece of furniture was coated with paint. Every electric cord on the TV, VCR, Stereo and Computer were cut. If that wasn't enough, bleach and liquid detergent were poured into the vents of all the electronic items. She was arrested, spent one night in jail and now facing felony charges for the crime. I am still waiting for a court date. DONT BE THAT GUY ------------------ Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. [This message has been edited by across110thstreet (edited May 09, 2001).]
Don't talk to her for a while! Dawg gone it, if you've been honest and she still doesn't get it, take a little time and don't put effort into it. Sad, but when its done to you (or me) isn't that what usually happens? Let it fade away, let go, stay away, give no attention, don't feed it any of your time. At least not for a little while...you're not being a dick, just moving on. Later you can talk cool with each other...then she can go psycho on yo'azz! ------------------ "When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.''
Man, forget about telling her in the car. This chick might be CRAZY!!!! I would take her to a place where none of my valuables are, and tell her there. Trust me......... ------------------
Since you're willing to screw her one night and not looking for a relationship, I don't see why you care what she thinks. Who cares if she thinks you're a jerk? It was a one-night stand -- there's really no getting around being a "dick" at this point.
