Wifey is planning for my 40th in a few weeks and I'm having mixed feelings about it. On one hand I appreciate the gesture and it would be great to see the 50 or so people that she is inviting but…who are these parties for anyway? Out of the 50+ guests I will probably get 8 gifts and a bunch of lame ass jokes about how difficult it is to buy for me. She is spending a lot of money on food and alcohol although she and I drink rarely and must stay sober to "entertain." I've found that these parties are more for the people that come than the person whose birthday it is, I will meet people that I will never see again and be forced to be nice to people that I don't even care for that much. Afterwards my wife and I will be part of the clean-up crew while the party people have gone their merry way full of our food and our alcohol. I would much rather a quiet dinner and great conversation with a few friends that really care about me, and not about the party. Is this selfish?
Selfish? Not in my opinion. Since it's your birthday celebration, it should be about what you want. BTW...I'm the same way...closest friends only, and no big deal.
AB it's just the opposite for me. My wife's B-day is May 12th and she'll turn the big 40. I keep asking her what she wants or if she wants to do anything and she keeps telling me she doesn't want anything. I mean ANYTHING! What's a good husband to do? I figure we'll go out to a nice dinner. And I'm thinking I'll just get her a gift certificate for a day at a spa.
Couple of things: Since when is it not fun to, once in a blue moon, have a big get-together. It's your 40th! Secondly, your wife might enjoy entertaining. I know a lot of women that do, especially for special events. My thoughts are if your wife is setting it up, and it was her idea, she probably wants to do it. I'd allow her to. She might be tired of the intimate dinner idea. And besides, a lot of women just like the thought of putting together a big song and dance for the one they love as a sense of reward. Drink up Johnny, and enjoy it. You won't have to do it again for 10 years, or when she turns 40. (and don't forget, she may want this for a one-time, special occasion, as well. Remember the Homer Bowling Ball B-Day gift.
You shouldn't have to do anything, your wife should recruit other people to do all the work. And you can get drunk, insult everyone, so that they won't come next year.
My wife had a surprise party for me for my 30th birthday, last summer. She invvited just our immediate families and closest friends. It was the best party I've had in years. We had it at a nice resteraunt, so there was no clean up. I got a few gifts but I also got to visit with people I wanted to visit with. So to answer your question it isn't selfish at all.
Just a thought. My girlfriend at the time knew my birthday was coming up and she said she was going to do something nice for it over at her house. Wouldn't give me anymore details (you could probably do the same thing at a close friends house or restaurant) Anyway, when I went over there, she had thrown a surprise party for me. She'd invited about 10 people, cooked a fabulous meal and drinks were flowing. Needless to say, I thought it was great. I always think you can't go wrong with a small surprise party. Just make sure you invite her friends, not yours.
Reminds me of my wedding. My mother wanted to invite a bunch of people to see her son get married. She told me, "The wedding is for the parents not the bride and groom;" and "You can have your wedding when your children get married." But, I wasn't having it. I made an exception for a friend of hers (who didn't come anyway); otherwise, it was only people I wanted to be there. And, we had a great time. I think the guest list is the important part. If there's someone you don't want to see, why should they be invited?
People always forget my birthday. One year, even my parents forgot to call! It's just one of those things I guess. There are a couple of people who always remember, but the vast majority have no clue.
My wife had her 40th Birthday this year and the people at her work threw her a surprise party. Of course no one told me, but then I'm not close to anyone at her work so I shrugged it off. At one time I thought of having a surprise party, but we already hd a cruise planned for her birthday and our 20th anniversery so I left it at that. She was very touched about the party and I got bummed because NO ONE at her work called me about it. Am I wrong in thinking that SOMEONE could have let her husband of 20 years know about this? I just chalked it up to being related to her work and put it behind me. I'm still kind of TO'd. Anyhow. Sorry to go off on AB's big day. AB, Do what you want to do. It's your 4-0. btw - Happy Birthday
That's messed up, I would hve been pissed. I actually wanted to do a live comedy recording (ala redd foxx) while playing the piano and smoking cigarettes...three of my favorite things to do!
Jeff's birthday is on his profile. It's May 7. That's not very far away. Everyone commit this to memory now. I think, for a lot of people, birthdays aren't such a big deal... this year, and it was one ending in "0" (albeit one I'd wanted to deny the existence of), my mom got off her calendar and forgot the date, thinking it was the next day. Ferdinand said "happy birthday" at the beginning of the day and did not do or say anything ANY different for the whole day. He got me a card two days later and took me to dinner something like two or three weeks later when we had time. Oh well. Birthdays blow. Used to, back when we had more of a social life, I would always ask Ferdinand if he wanted me to throw him a party or get a bunch of people together. He would always ask that I not do it. Too bad, since people usually ignore him and I was trying to help him feel appreciated, but he said he would rather just us do something. I started putting together these nice "whole weekend on the beach" things for him... still remember the first year I did that, when I had set up everything, motel room in Corpus, restaurants, etc. the way he wanted it, even brought nothing but classical music to listen to, and drove my car so he wouldn't have to... then my air conditioner broke and he spent a lot of the time complaining about it. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you; doesn't mean they will, though.
i love parties...love being around lots of people... but i HATE parties for ME. hate them. don't enjoy them. not sure why. my birthday is very subdued. time with wife and kids is cool...and then the rest of my family gets together for dinner and cake at my parents' house.
