the kid already has to deal with one stigma, being adopted. we can sit here and argue about gay rights, and acceptance, but now you are going to put two on the kid. not fair to the kid.
DD's got it right, above. You're a funny person to be arguing that the kid won't be accepted due to his parents' sexuality -- maybe you're saying that from a position of knowledge as you intend to stigmatize him for it, but without instruction from bigoted adults children will not. Homophobia, like racism and other forms of bigotry, is learned. EDIT: I've thought it over and decided you are right that it's not fair to the kid, which puts me in the uncomfortable position of also having to now agree with my grandmother and oppose bi-racial couples adopting kids. After all, they already have to deal with one stigma.
Men can't **** each other and make babies. pgabriel already explained this. Please pay attention, thegary.
I disagree, I don't think there are all that many stigmas attached to being raised by a gay couple, it beats bouncing around from foster home to foster home, or being in an orphanage. What happens to the kids that are born to a man and a women then one of the parents figures out they are gay? Kids are a lot more resiliant than parents, they could care less about the mommy daddy situation, they just want to play and eat cake, you are not going to harm them ONE bit by going to a birthday party, and you might find out that your prejudices are unfounded as well and make a friend or two. DD
because i feel the kid would have to deal with issues having to do with having gay parents. none of us know how a kid would react to that.
NOW we're getting somewhere... pgab: Would you have opposed bi-racial adoption in 1955 on the grounds that it would be unfair to the kid? I'm on pins and needles.
Please answer the question, pgabriel. You have acknowledged that if this was 1955 a child adopted by a bi-racial couple would encounter bias (I would argue that that bias would extend WELL past 1955). So, okay. Would you oppose bi-racial couples being allowed to adopt in 1955? Yes or no?
this is really a non issue also, because black couple's can't adopt kids anyway because there are too many black kids that need to be adopted. in 1955 i wouldn't care if a white couple adopted a black kid.
It's telling that you're scared to answer the question. In 1955, if a black/white couple wanted to adopt would you be in favor of allowing that even knowing the child would be stigmatized? Yes or no?
also do you see how that analogy doesn't work. the people who are going to have to deal with adopting the kid are the parents, the kid is going to be ridiculed in 1955 anyway because they're black.
I don't understand this. There isn't a kid on earth that has not been teased in some form or fashion about something. Guess what, that's life. Deal with it. There are people that have to brave the adversity that comes with change. Kids can make that difference and are pretty damn resilient. I also think that the more exposure that kids have with gays, the less taboo it will be. To get to that point, there are going to be bumps in the road. Even if you don't agree with being gay, they are still people. You or your kids are not going to get the gay by being around them. There are plenty of things that straight people do that I don't agree with but that doesn't mean that I judge them or stop being their friend. It isn't my job. To the thread starter, I think you are punishing the birthday kid by not attending. I also think that kids can understand a whole hell of a lot more than you give them credit for. You don't have to go into the mechanics of sex to explain two men or two women living together just like you don't have to explain it when a man and a woman live together. I know I'm probably in the minority on this but I believe in being very open with my kids. There is very little that I filter from them. I don't go out of my way to expose them to things but I also don't hide things from them either. I want them to know that they can always come to me and know that they are going to get a straight answer and not be judged.
and i don't think a kid should be put in that situation for the benifit of gay rights. would it help, sure it would. but that's not the responsibility of kids that need to be adopted.
