So I've been with a girl for a little under two years. We've had our ups and downs just like any other relationship, but things are a little rough right now. Her mom is in the hospital with jaundice, cause they just got back from East Africa and the malaria pills they took before they left made her mom's liver flare up, but back to the point. She was gone for three weeks and we didn't have much of a form to communicate rather than email So she gets back yesterday we have a pretty good day, and her mom is in the hospital at night, don't hear from her, call her this morning talk a little etc etc. I am leaving for college in 8 days and this is probably the last 8 days we have before things change a lot between us especially since she'll be in Boston and I'll be in DC so we MAY get to see each other once a month, not many phone calls etc, and so I get upset that she hadn't once asked about me, and she get's upset and calls me insensitive, that I'm not here for her etc etc. What I'm asking is how do I say that even though she is in a crappy situation, I still do exist, etc etc... And even more so, how can I be more comforting? I more than anything want to be here for her, but somehow make things about me all the time... Just really confused...
drumdum, I'm not sure this will help, but here goes. Be there for her first. Just spend some time listening to her talk about her trip and her poor mom. Simultaneously admit to yourself that trying to date, while in college, in two different cities, is just not a good idea. You would probably be cheating yourself massively, in terms of life experience. And hey, maybe you date some people in DC or whatever and figure out that she's by far the one for you. I would really work on maintaining the friendship, but try to get the conversation to the friendship-first, date-other-people frame. I feel like I see way too many college-aged people work way too hard to maintain something that is okay but not awesome enough to warrant all the trouble. Meh. What do I know about you and her? But you asked.
I can understand where you're coming from, but I just can't let this go, at all. It might be me being selfish but I can't take the risk of not having her back to meet new people. I've been into her for 5 years, absolutely fell for her the first time I spoke to her. But that is something that shall be seen in the coming months. Things have been great and amazing for the longest time now, I just don't want it to end just to experience something new. We've talked about making sure not to hinder the experience. I also would like to add that I do want to transfer to somewhere in Boston or New York next year, maybe MIT, Columbia, or NYU.
<br> I totally agree with you. You should at least give it the best shot you can, if she is that worth it to you. At the end of the day, at least you will know that you gave it everything you could and didn't just let her walk away. Hopefully, if you guys are meant to be, everything will work out fine. I think the issue at hand is just about maturing. You probably want everything to be about you guys because you are subconsciously scared of not having her around. You want to spend as much time talking about you two as a couple. You gotta concentrate on her right now though. Be there for her, and put aside your selfishness. If you guys truly love one another, you should be able to stop worrying about everything when it comes to the other person. She needs time to concentrate on other things in her life, but most importantly she wants you to be with her and there for her while she does. Don't take this for granted. A girl wanting you to be there with her through her life's struggles is probably the best sign you can get. Be that guy for her, and just do it.
Dude, Id talk to her and express yourself to her but not in a whiny way but more of an informative way. Tell her your there for her and even though you're going to school you will be there for whenever she needs from you. Like the others have said be there for her and dont abandon her she will see that and really take that to heart. Honestly, it may not work out NOW but this may be a spring board for the future so keep the friendship togethar and if you guys are meant to be then it will be.
My advice is to be on a break during college, at least at the beginning. You need to see what else is out there and first year of college is a time that you will never forget. Should have fun, meet new people, and if its meant to be, yall will get back together. Worse thing you can do is stay together, long distance, just for the sake of being together, and you missing out on the fun. Probably didnt answer your original question, but just thought id throw that out there...good luck!
