2003 Darwin Awards

My apologies if this has been posted already.


> DARWIN AWARDS FOR 2003
>
>
> For those of you not familiar with the Darwin Awards, they are awarded
> annually for the most extreme act of (usually terminal) stupidity.
>
>
> First Place - The 2003 Darwin Award Winner.
>
>
>
> When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
> a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
> something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried
> the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
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> And now, the honorable mentions:
>
>
> The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
> and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
> company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to
> have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
> chef's claim was approved.
>
>
>
>
>
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
> blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the
> space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
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> After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found
> that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harare
> to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
> went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
> He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff
> that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. . .
.
> . . The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
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> An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
> close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
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> A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
> asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
> gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
> provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
> bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.
> (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
> committed?)
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> Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd
> just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
> and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the
> window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
> head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
> Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>
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> As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
her
> purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
> give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
> police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
> the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
> for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
> the lady I stole the purse from."
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> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
> King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5:00 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
> cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
> register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
> said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
> away.
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> Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a
> chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
> pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper
off
> their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain
> still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the
> chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
> They were quickly arrested.
>
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> HERE'S A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
>
>
> When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
> Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
> the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
> spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
> steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
> tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying
> that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>

 

Good times. Well, not good that we lost, but lots of good memories nonetheless.