Wrote this rock song "Breathless Life" last week!

I liked the singer. Nice intro too.

Are you the singer? If so, you need a new band.

More drums. I do like the guitar if I were to isolate it as a critique, but not as a song.

And remember, a pause is a musical note. The song should pause enough for the guitarist to go from lead to hook. Not to say I always expect songs to have a hook (hell, my favorite band is Phish/Trey), but let us move through the song with you...give us something to remember to wait for and get sweaty for.

You might be singing over the guitar too much.

and a song called Breathless Life begs for a pause of the singer. no?

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so, did you do that as one cut or laid down your guitar and then sang? Pretty impressive if you played it all at once. But that's no negative critique if you laid the tracks separately, as that's probably pretty hard too. Just saying, it's rare to find a singer who can play lead (and rhythm) like that live.

but enough of my fandom feedback...

others? Chime in.

 

heyp is giving excellent advice. To be fair, I think some would also question the lyrics. Very self-loathing.

 

Good stuff breh.

Also the songs needs more female dancers.

 

Im not really qualified to give advice. But thought you sang decent. One thing I noticed, when you sing the word "supposed" you should pronounce "sposed", flows better that way I think.

Overall, better than I could do so good job lol

 

You mean "Breathless" female dancers of Life!

And the Album doesn't even need a title. Just a cover of the dancers who leave us speechless for Life.

Except there is no longer vinyl and covers. hmmm. Well, at least metalshred has the dancers. Damn, I hate lead singers and guitarists. They get all the babes, while us fans are doing all the effort to prime the well of the dance floor to get the groupies to dance and sweat and stop just standing there. Put those pert breasts and rock tight shorts to work!

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What were we talking about?

 

As hp mentioned, I recommend mixing the vocals down further into the mix. Otherwise, a nice effort.

 

Btw, I've always been paranoid in posting anything original on the interwebs. What if someone comes and steals your song and they become famous?

 

Wouldn't that be proof that it existed before the person that stole it...stole it?

 

Digging the creativity and your use of Apple Loops. Not bad at all.

Vocals definitely need to be mixed tighter and expanded. Work on your eq and compression. Play with some reverb to find a nice warm but airy ambience. I couldn't tell because I was listening from my phone, but was there a bass part in there? If not add one, if so bring it out more.

Not my style of music, but ROCK ON!!!