So, I just witnessed this heavy set 50-ish woman attempt to through a fully laden garbage bag over the dumpster enclosure into the dumpster. The enclosure is a 10 ft tall brick wall on all four sides of the dumpster. There is a ramp and stairs leading to the dumpster shoot. She made three good attempts at it at it, nearly hitting herself the 3rd time and leaving herself winded. Needless to say, I was a little late with the camera. Anyway, she gives up, goes to her car and opens the door. Her 400 pound daughter (I think) walks up to the car, gets in and starts the car. The old lady then sees someone walking their dog nearby and asks if they could throw the bag over for her. They politely inform her that there is a shoot just on the otherside. tl;dr Old lady fails at throwing away the trash. Moral of the story - explore all options first.
Me and a buddy had trout lines going across San Jacinto river. Had a catfish almost as long as the 10ft green boat that bent the hook and slipped off. Had to be some kind of record, kinda freaked us out as we were only kids in jr high.
My younger brother and I were screwing around and he bumped against the refrigerator. For some reason my mom had put one of her several porcelain oriental vases on top of it; the vase fell and I caught it right above his head. He made the point of stating that "I saved his life" and I'd like to replay that every once in a while when he disregards my IMs at work.
I caught 3 very effeminate guys stealing once while I was managing a store. Our 1 vs. 3 fight was epic. I didn't try to punch anyone, just threw them to the ground when they ran at me. One guy tried to throw a handful of gravel in my face to blind me... I think I ripped off 3 tank tops and 2 fat redistributers in the least manly manner. After the guys ran away I realized a stranger was jacking off in his car watching us "fight." Another time I woke up in bed with a stranger who was 20 years older than me. Turned out I left the front door unlocked and slept through her getting in bed. I found a trail of Jack-in-the-Box and $1 bills leading to my room. She was almost toothless and without regrets when I woke her up. Should have taken a picture at least.
1. Watched a little yellow car come puttering to a stop just past our house, as if it ran out of gas. Then the driver gets out with this giant yellow key, puts it in a hole in the back of the car, winds it up, gets back in and takes off again leaving us laughing in amazement. Obviously pretty easy to do, but mom did not believe us, and we were young enough there's still some doubt as to whether it actually happened- this was long before the days of trolling, YouTube pranks etc. so this guy would have had to be doing it just for the love of the game. 2. A drunk brawl, two guys with a knife vs. one with a metal can, an epic multistage episode taking place over two floors of the building. It was like the extended chicken fights in family guy. 3. Like the others these would be no big deal now with how much everything is captured on video, but for the longest time before you could find this stuff on YouTube, I wished I could have rewatched these three weather phenomena- from my tricycle I saw a massive tornado coming straight for the house as my dad ran from the barn. Sat there stunned until I was ushered inside to bathroom, & we waited for the rumbling to stop. And another storm when from my bedroom window I watched our trampoline get picked up and flung way up into the tree tops, suspended up there like a plastic bag in the wind for a little while, then fall back down. I would also loved to have seen the time lightning split us, right in between standing only ten feet apart or so in the college station bike barn parking lot. See just how close it was in reality. Seemed super bright & loud right there in my face.
My brother once got training shoes and a running parachute as gifts for his birthday or Christmas. The shoes sort of looked like these: First time he tries them out, the parachute tangles around him and he goes tumbling down right at the start. It was hilarious to watch. I got the camera out for his 2nd attempt, but no such luck at a repeat disaster.
Back in college in the mid-80's, when it would be rainy and miserable outside, several of us would play basketball in the gym. Hours and hours of basketball.. Anyway, once in a while, someone would break out a nerf football or something, just as a change of something to do. So one day, inside the gym, we were throwing the nerf football around. I had the ball, and threw it the entire length of the gym, down toward my friend in the corner, just near one of the 'practice hoop' baskets, you know the kind that can raise and lower from the ceiling; not the 'main' hoop in the gym, one of the 'side' ones. Anyway, turns out, the throw was a perfect 'swoosh!' through the net of that goal, a perfect shot. My friends are all whooping and hollering, you know, like everyone would do when something like that happens. But that's not what I wish I could have captured - at least that wasn't the best part. I yelled out to them - 'No, hey, throw me the ball, I'll do it AGAIN!' And they were all, 'No way, yeah sure!' all that kind of thing. So they throw me the ball, I line it up, looking all serious, and throw it again.. ..and again, PERFECT SWISH. Then they were seriously freaking out, it was awesome.. (and no, I missed the third try) that would have been a great moment in life to have captured on film.. :grin:
Past Sunday at Twin Peaks. We had wanted to get lunch elsewhere, but all restaurants were packed for Mother's Day. So we went to the Twin Peaks in Memorial as a last resort. Upon entering, it was nearly empty. My wife and I, one other couple, and 6 or so fat pathetic lonely men by themselves. The fattest and most pathetic of all was trying really hard to get the waitresses to talk to him. They obliged because, well, they have to, but they alternated so no one would have to talk to him for too long. Towards the end of our meal I notice he is desperately trying to get them to allow him to take their pictures (for fapping later, I assume?). One finally agrees and he asks her to hold up a $100 bill by her face while she smiles for the picture. It was sad to see and I really thought it couldn't get any worse. I was wrong. As we are preparing to pay our bill and leave, in walks an even fatter and more pathetic guy carrying two plastic grocery bags from WalMart. At first, because of the bags and his attire/appearance, I thought he was homeless. And back to the fat thing: so fat that his gut was pouring out over his sweatpants and couldn't even be covered by his XXXL t-shirt. Anyway, he sits down in a booth near us and I try to see what's in those bags. Hmmm... what is that... oh, are those... stems? What? But why? Then the waitress comes over to take his order. "I'm going to be here a long time," he tells her. "I tip well," he adds with the creepiest of a smile. "And I don't want to be just another customer." Then he reaches for the WalMart bag and pulls out... a $5 prearranged bouquet. He has several of them in that bag. He presents the bouquet to the waitress and she looks creeped out and terrified. She just abruptly leaves and hurries back to the kitchen. I don't know whether to cry or laugh, but I end up laughing as we walk out the door.
douchebag in fancy beemer drove at like 40 through school zone and texting on his phone. i was like man wheres a cop when you need one. second later bright flashing lights and murdered out tahoe goes after him so i slowly drove by him pulled over and the look on his face woulda made a gif.
A few years ago I was sitting in dead stopped bumper to bumper traffic on the Westpark about 2 miles before 59 on my way to school. All of a sudden I see a blur and my car shakes. Some a-hole in a big SUV passes me and everyone else on the shoulder to my right doing about 30-40. I said the usual angry and futile things to myself that I normally say when I encounter a driver like that. About 15 minutes later as I pull on to the ramp going to 59 I pass a car on the shoulder and it is the a-hole in the SUV with his hazards on and 2 flat tires. He had driven over debris from a wreck that hadn't been cleaned up all the way. Instant karma. Best thing about a jackass getting 2 flat tires is a car only comes with one spare. This guy definitely had to wait on a tow. It made my morning.
