At work there is a woman who being very forward with me, were the roles reversed this would be sexually harrassing her. She is married and among other reasons I am not interested at all. She is the type of woman who I think will cause problems no matter what happens. She has basically offered it up to me and while at first I may have returned some of the flirting I now know this is not a woman to be played with, she means business. What should I do about this? I am going in tommorrow and will not talk to her unless it's business related and I will not log into the instant messanger hoping to severe her lines of communication with me. I also plan to immerse myself in some sort of project so that our interaction will be even less. My friend at work has told me that her forwardness is making him sick but he also thinks I am egging it on by asking her to come to my desk to "check this out" which I did once. Egging her on was the furtherest thing from my mind. My friend has even suggested I make up a fake girlfriend to make myself less available although I doubt even that would help. What should I do?
But I'd rather not be known as the gay guy at work for some reason, I don't know, that just kinda bothers me.
I read your thread, that won't work, besides if she wanted me anymore I think she'd probably rape me.
waiting for Bacqui to chime in with his typical response SSG - seperation is the key, reduce contact with her, don't be rude about of course, so still say say hello, but leave it at that, keep yourself busy with tasks/jobs that don't involve direct contact with her.
Go with the fake girlfriend. Also, I suggest you start documenting incidents with specificity (date, time, language, acts, innuendos) to protect yourself in case this thing blows up.
sorry man... you're stuck like chuck. she'll want you if you play the gay card and she'll want you if you have a girlfriend. hmmmm... have you tried the bad hygiene thing? no deordorant, garlicy/oniony lunches, don't wash your hair... better yet... don't wash for a few days, oh yeah... and the next time you ask her to come to your desk rip a big one before she comes to the office so that she can still smell it by the time she arrives. hopefully she'll eventually get grossed out. yeah... i know. kinda drastic, but you make it seem like she's going to get you in trouble or something. sorry. can't think of anything else right now.
I agree. Send yourself some flowers. Not only will you be less available, you will seem less masculine Oh yeah, complain about this crab lice that you can't get rid of. "My nuts itch." Ask everyone for advice.
So basically i should send myself flowers from a fake boyfriend apolgizing for giving me crabs on my small penis and my stinky sweaty balls and she might leave me alone, sounds easy.
Don't leave out the fact that you're HIV positve. But at least the herpes have been clean for eight straigt weeks.
an idea from left field.... be honest, tell her you are not interested and that you find her behaviour inappropriate in the workplace.
Yes, be sincere & honest. Let her know about your feelings instead of trying to come up with different excuses... No need to go straight with her on this issue... but you can send out little signals showing you are not interested at her & so she will back off. oh, & you better don't tell other colleagues about how you gonna approach this... I'm sure you don't want the news to spread around like all the gossip!
Funny stuff. Whew...... . Just play it out as innocent flirting but stop now. Don't be as interested. Don't get into any positions where you will...pooper. Her husband finds out and he may gun you and her down. Why even go through that? Your the office fling. You'll be the talk of the office grapevine. Give her the stiff one-eye. Is she really hot and hot for you and hard to resist? Does she arouse you? Do you sport wood around her, sport? Ah...hell...dive in once and bail on her and your job. Good luck!
Coming from a girl, I would try first to be honest with her. Tell her that it was all just innocent flirting but that now it's making you uncomforatble. Don't lie about ANYTHING! It will come back to bite you in the a$$. Girls like guys who are gay...she'll want you to be her "gay friend" and you don't want to go there (although the gay friend is a really great thing to have)! If you tell her your taken, she'll try to steal you or start stalking you....who knows. It's never a good idea to lie. Especially at work where she could hear other people talk. However, if she really wants you, nothing will stop her. If that's the case and honesty doesn't work, just cut all ties with her. And it would be a good idea to keep a log or document when she "harasses" you. Then start complaints with the boss or someone (just say it's bothering you...don't try to get her fired, yet). She can't probably get fired over one complaint and documentation is good, but some people could say you're making it all up. It's a good idea to have it documented with HR or a supervisor, that way they know you were doing something about it. Good luck!
File a sexual harrassment claim against her. She deserves whatever she gets for trying to cheat on her husband. Plus it gives just that much more exposure to the fact that women can harrass men just as men can harrass women.
