How do you tell someone their 9-year-old is an a-hole?

Anytime I'd act a fool while visiting friends, I was sure that my parents would be told. It sucks that everyone is so damn defensive these days. Chances are they know it and don't care. I'd move.

 

when you're around him parent him like he's your own kid and maybe his parents will get the hint, if not continue to parent him for the sake of your own child

 

When he's at your house, tell him that there are certain rules that need to be followed and if he doesn't follow them, send him packing.

 

Beat him in front of his parents.
Or, you know, just talk to the parents. Have an honest heart to heart.

 

What does your wife say?

 

Your view of what's RIGHT and what's WRONG is way off in comparison to those of the brat's parents.

Looks like the kid's father is the way to go if you want in on how to enforce good behavior at your house, which you are entitled to do. Maybe talk to the kid and say something to the likes of "Hey, listen... can you please not do [the bad thing he did]... because [fairness, just reason, etc.]." Only stop him when he does those things, and warn him and his parents that doing those things will have consequences.

Falcons, most bratty kids' parents won't like you telling their kids even YOUR OWN RULES... they will see it as you trying to raise their kid... but, yes, stating to the parents and to the kid that there are rules in your house might be the way to go. Good one.

Are you seriously telling Xero to MOVE because of a kid? :grin: Maybe I didn't get the joke... but if I didn't... and now I realize it's a joke... that's hilarious.

Actually, this should MAKE or BREAK the relationship and it is all the more reason to say something to them about it, in confidence, without embarrassing them in front of others, etc. If the mother still doesn't think it's wrong, it's BYE-BYE to that friend on the part of your wife, unless your wife and you don't know better.

 

Sounds like you've been gotten to. By a 9 year old. You lose.

 

make him feel pain but in an accidental way.

 

Yeah, that's a tough one, man. Do you tell your son that you don't approve of his friend's behavior? Maybe he'll mention it to the prick and he'll say it to his parents. Then if they confront you, say you just mentioned to your son that not all parents parent the same way and you didn't feel it was your place to say anything to them directly. That's how my passive-aggressive ass would do it!

 

best bet is to talk to the father about it, or at least get in a conversation about how to discipline children.

also if you don't want him over, you can have your have your kid not see him as a form of punishment

if all else fails, get him on puzzle quest and keep attacking him (if only we could choose players)

 

just think it's not your kid that is an ahole. if his parents don't see it, give them hints.


my kid once was playing with another one who was just not being fair. I asked my kid in front of the other kids parent if he was having fun. my son replied, no. then the kids parents heard it and did something to correct his son's behavior.

 

He's 9

He'll change

 

When I was in 4th grade a good friend of mine's parents told him he could no longer hang out with me at or after school because I was a bad influence. I was very surprised to hear it because aside from minor incidences at school I'd never really gotten in trouble. But his parents' demand worked and we stopped hanging out. A few years later he got in serious trouble and got expelled from the school. Ha! I showed those parents! Those condescending assholes.

But the point is, maybe if it gets bad enough you can just forbid your kid from hanging out with him? In my case, I never even told my parents that my friend was forbidden from hanging out with me because I thought they'd get mad at me.

If you go down that path, however, don't get your son a handheld camera in the 7th grade otherwise he might convince some of his female classmates to do stuff on camera and then make dozens of copies and sell them around the school for money. At which point this brat's parents will be LOLing at you as you flip through military school brochures.

 

You're allowing a nine-year old to rattle you and holding him to an adult's behavioral standard. If this kid hasn't given your son tobacco dip, shot him in the foot with a BB gun or showed him a ripped out page from Playboy in the next four years, you can probably relax.

 

I think talking to the parents is a bad idea. Like someone else said, parents today are VERY defensive. I can't imagine any parent these days is going to just give you a tip of the cap and say "thanks for the input, I will try to do better." after you tell him his kid is a brat.

I would stick to the "my house, my rules" shtick and just leave it at that. There's really not much you can do about bad parenting except just be a good parent to your own kid(s).

 

It is clearly bad parenting, and it is their choice, nothing you can do but enforce your rules in your house and send him home when he breaks your rules, he will learn.

DD

 

This is why so many neighborhoods and, overall, neighbors, fall apart.

People don't allow others to come into their own little world and are afraid to say something to each other for fear of rejection or refusal. I say this to you and DaDakota, as well. THERE IS something you can do. You would have at least TRIED.

I would say something to the parents. There's always a RIGHT way to say something to the parents, and there's always a WRONG way. Choose the RIGHT way.

At a GOOD point in a casual conversation, not waiting until it happens:
"There's something I've been meaning to tell you, [Friend], in regards to [your son/daughter]'s behavior I've seen at my house... I've noticed that sometimes [bad actions]...", etc.

Don't be scared.