Doesn't matter what she's doing, all that matters is what you're going to do in the future. She is who she is, and the sooner you found out, the sooner you could rip the band aid off and start moving in a new direction for yourself. Most of us have broken up with someone before, so we all know that this will be so damn painful but it will end and you'll move on to better things. Hang in there man. Alcohol is going to make things a little better and a lot worse. Best to think about how to get to where you want to be in the future.
As many have already stated you should be extremely grateful that you found out now before you married her and brought kids into the equation. Instead of thinking about all the good things about her just remind yourself of what she's done and the love you had for her will fade away quickly. This is just one chapter of your life. Obviously it wasn't a good one so turn the page and look forward (not back). There are SO many awesome things that lay ahead for you. Is this girl really worth ending your life over? Seriously? I know it hurts right now, but TRUST me the pain WILL go away!!! You said "I can't even begin to describe what I have done for this girl". She obviously didn't appreciate it, but trust me, there's a girl out there who will. What you should be saying to yourself right now is "you won't believe what I'm going to do for me moving forward". Quit beating yourself up about this, and be an AWESOME friend to yourself. You have reached a fork in the road. You can go down the road where you play the victim, having suicidal thoughts that make you feel pathetic and weak, and letting this define you, which will certainly lead you to a miserable existence. OR You can go down the path where you will tap into strength and courage and faith that you never knew was inside of you, and it WILL change your life forever!!! There's the old story about the Grandfather teaching his grandson about the tug of war between evil and good that's in each if us. The grandson asks his grandfather, "who wins the battle"? The grandfather says, "whichever one you feed the most". Why is this story relevant? Because you control what you think, and what you want to focus on. If you want to focus on all the negative crap with this girl/relationship, and all the doom and gloom that goes with it (feeding the evil) as opposed to feeding the good thoughts about all the good things that life has to offer you in the days/yrs to come, than the evil in you will win this war. The choice is up to you and you alone. EVERYTHING starts with a choice. Make the choice to continually feed yourself with good thoughts. A bad/evil thought enters your mind, stop it IMMEDIATELY and replace it with a god one. Good luck and take it day by day!!!! Trust that you WILL get through this!!!
If there is anything that I've learned, it's that marriage is hard enough when you trust your partner completely. You dodged a huge bullet.
You know what...I'm going through a very very tough situation right now as well, but then you look at a thread like this http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=256650 and should realize things can be a lot worse and there is so much to be thankful for in your life.
I too know the pain of a shocking end to a long term relationship. One day you're cuddling and planning a vacation, the next you find that OKcupid profile that isn't "for networking". However, the denial can be a strong defense mechanism. If you go back over the clues of the past few months, you will start to see that it may have been you who wasn't getting the hint. Maybe she was hoping you'd find out because she was too chicken**** to just be honest about it. In my shoes, I had never dealt with a breakup before. I behaved as childish as possible. Suicidal. Pure venom. Cocktails of booze, weed, and nicotine. Regretable one night stands. Trying to salvage pride and still be friends but knowing it was futile. I think it took me nearly 9 months just to get past the denial stage. The only real cure is the truth man. The ego is a fragile butterfly. Realize that it was you who empowered this rare bird. Maybe you opened her eyes to what life would be like without low self esteem. Ultimately, you pay the price, but in the end you will see the destiny was on another course. Try to focus on self improvement. Exercise your body and mind. Let the grief fuel you, but don't let it overpower you. Think of the good times and try to move on. She's gone and she's never coming back. It is for the best. Good luck, space traveller.
This sucks, OP. I can attest to that but in a different sort of way. Last night, I had to call it off with my GF of over 1 year. I truly loved her and the past year has been one of the best years in my life. However, she wanted marriage committment and I could not do that. She is at an age where she sees all her friends either engaged / married and wishes for the same. As much as I truly love this girl, I could not keep her waiting any longer as it would not be right on my part. Every thing I do has her memory etched on it. I went over to her place last night to tell her all this. We ended up in each other's arm with her crying etc. I stayed over. I get up this morning and leave. Now I'm at work wondering if I will ever see her again and thinking about how to move on. It hurts. Yes it will. You will feel the pain. Just let it out. Oh and it's not as easy as just go bang another girl. If you're used to emotional connections, it'll take a while.
You got this bro, everything will work out, just focus on yourself and the future. Since I actually know you, I can tell you that you've got a lot more going for you than you may think. Keep your head up, focus on body and mind, as was mentioned...continue working and building on your career, and before you know it, you'll be grateful that things played out the way they did. And this girl doesn't deserve you. Totally her loss. Feel bad for her, not for yourself.
One of the toughest things for guys to do is change from girls to women. It is much riskier and threatening, but also much more rewarding. Once the fog clears, you'll be ready. You were fixated on a girl, so now go look around for women. (And it has nothing to do with age. In fact, the worst thing you can do is commit long-term to a girl who will always be a girl.)
Sounds like her co-worker just did you the biggest favor possible in life. Thank the gods you weren't married.
Yeah, cut the bull. So what did you do? Or why did she say she left you? Did you NOT f#)*( her well? "I'm here for the g*ngbang"? She will come back saying she was disrespected and was apalled at how RKREBORN treated her during the breakup.
Cry it out, listen to some hateful rap songs (old Eminem did it for me a decade ago), then go find a rebound. Who knows, that rebound might be the one.
Life sucks, have 5k$ depts that won't wait, have no job, have not much of future....who cares about girlfriends
