Why are you still married? or Why are you still in this relationship?

There was a study that interviewed a group of couples that had marriages that lasted over 50 years, and that was the most common response from the men.

 

youve been watching HIMYM havent ya hahaha

 

Do you have kids?

Yes: make it work.
No: kick her to the curb. Life is too short to be miserable with one person.

 

I out kicked my coverage and she's my best friend. Why leave that?

 

The Kids, money, and house

 

Wife and I have been married for going on 14 years, no kids but we have fun together don't argue much and actually enjoy being around each other. Might change someday but things have been very good for a good while.

 

surprised no one has used the "L" word yet...

 

I like my wife just fine.

 

Why are you not married?

 

Spent too much money on the marriage ceremony and reception.

 

It's been 40 years for us as well, Dubious, although we simply lived together for a good stretch of time. She had moved into the upper duplex of the large house in front of my garage apartment with a bunch of female roommates, all going to UH. It was 2 blocks from Hermann Park, where I had lived for about 4 years. I remember the first time I saw her. A beautiful blonde chick coming out of the back door while I happened to be looking down from my window. My first thought was, "Wow!" She was 19. I've told the story before about sitting under a bush digging up worms to feed my pet owl, who was sitting on my shoulder, when she came out of that door on a different occasion. I said "Hi!" She looked around, bewildered, and then spotted me, breaking out in a big smile, and walked over. She had a boyfriend, but when I asked her out a few days later to a concert at Liberty Hall, she said yes. I didn't attempt to jump her bones at first, which was unlike me, but instead acted like a gentleman, simply kissing her goodnight. By September, we had moved into a pad together in the Montrose area. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Why are we still in a relationship? We split up a couple of times in the early years, mainly my fault, but love kept bringing up back together. Love is a groovy thing. I hope everyone experiences it at some point.

 

I've gig'd 2 technically married chicks. 1 by accident. The other it was over. Those coming out of marriage chicks really give it good.

 

23 years. Love my wife, love my kids, love my dog. But where Mrs. rimrocker is concerned, love doesn't cover everything. One day I realized I would rather spend time with her than do anything else. That is what made me ask her to marry me. Of course, that may be what love is. Or maybe it is still being content with each other when the ardor of youth wears off. Or both.

Also, can't imagine going through the BS of dating again, especially at my age with all the broken and desperate chicks out there. And I could not conceive of dating someone more than a few years younger. I don't want to have explain the 70's to someone.

I'm good right where I am.

 

DUH, because I love her and what we have.

Ahhh... short-hand "if-then-else" statements. I like them. My nerdy programmer self went nuts.

if (something)
{do something}
else
{something else}

becomes

something ? do : else

Nice.

 

Do you have children together? If so, I suggest counseling to try to make it work. If not, and you are not happy and don't want to be married, then end it.

If you are just dating someone and fighting all of the time or don't want to be with her, then end it. Trust me, if the foundation is shaky at that point, there is no hope of things improving when you are married.

Also couples make a fatal mistake thinking children will "bring them closer together". Nothing could be further from the truth. Kids are amazing and life-changing, but parenting (especially the first few years) adds tons of stress that didn't exist before.

I have been married for almost 8 years. There has been ups and downs (more ups) and we have 2 beautiful kids together.

Other than the kids, why do I stay with my wife during the few times we were having issues? First of all I love her. I take my vows seriously and do want to grow old with her. I have no desire to see other women (exactly why I got married at 30...I got all of the banging randoms out of my system and know I am not missing anything at this point in my life).


I think people just give up too easily when things get tough. Most marriages at some point have periods where there are issues. The real issue is usually communication. People tend to bottle up their frustrations and just argue and nitpick about other things but the real issue may be something else altogether. And the other person can't read minds and know what the issues may be unless they are communicated.

Sometimes it helps to have a professional counselor uncover those issues and fins a way for the two of you to discuss them. It can be amazing what can be uncovered and what can be resolved (IF there are issues that the spouse isn't aware of).

The only deal breaker is cheating. Kids be damned...if she cheated on me then the marriage will be broken and I would leave.

 

LOL. Best answer.

EDIT: Best way to put it: (1) I got very lucky, and (2) it's important to love.

 

That's two groovys in two days. Are you watching a Brady Bunch marathon?

 

I'm still married because the only thing that gets me through a stressful work day/week/month/year is looking forward to getting home to see my awesome wife and amazing twin boys.

Without them, what would be the point of even getting out of bed in the morning? My job? LOL.

 

SERVED.

 

Female perspective.

9 years in for me. I always wonder why my guy stays, because i'm a total B. :grin: At the end of the day, when i'm super old I know i'll still want to hang out with him and if he were to be gone today the world would be harder to face without him.