Wrap a thick layer of toilet paper around your hand and gently guide that turd(s) down. It'll then act as a log/raft for you to place some toilet paper on top to make the cushion even better when you squeeze the next couple ones.
While on this topic ... Say you are in some sort of role at work such that you think you are important and in charge. Where do you poop, especially when the underlings are in and out of the toilet? The status of authority may be jeopardized, if not careful. What's the strategy?
Put an out of order sign on the door before you go in, if you have keys to the supply closet, put out the caution sign. Your grunting and and straining will be confused with a plumber fighting a nasty clog.
True that. It's the explosive diarrhea that causes the splash. If you're dropping solid turds you can control the velocity when they come out of your ass.
This is without a doubt the best D&D thread I've seen in awhile. More of these threads and I'll definitely spend more time in here. Finally, and actual problem we can cooperatively tackle! Have you tried taking several smaller craps a day? Break that big #2 up into several smaller sizes to minimize splashback. Might be difficult to do, but if you can swing it it might work. Also, perhaps drinking LOTS of beer and water in order to turn your deuce into more of a liquid substance might reduce some splashback... Of course, what splashback you do receive would likely be your own deuce. There many ways to slay this dragon, I think.
agree with some others, watery poop can sometimes cause more back splash.. And if you are going to take a splash back it's best to take the first one when the toilet bowl is cleaner. So another piece of advice if your going to take a splash is to first flush the toilet to ensure the bowl is completely clean and there isnt left over residue from someone else, hold in your pee so you dont have your own piss splashing back at you and then just let it go. Hmm I'll take your many smaller poop sessions in consideration but sometimes after a big meal that's pretty hard to do.
I suppose it depends upon the force with which the watery flow is expelled from the anus. If it's a forceful ejection then sure, it's going to splash. But if it's a steady stream then it't probably not likely to cause splash sufficient to reach your a$$. The trick would be regulating outflow, I think. Proper breathing techniques and good muscle control would go a long way towards regulating that outflow velocity. As for cutting the chore into smaller, more manageable slices, I personally do 2-3 dueces a day at fairly regular intervals. I don;t try to store anything up. For the most part each deuce is fairly manageable and doesn't cause splashback, and if I can do one at work (and take a 5-10 minute excused break and play with the phone) then all the better, right? The trick to it is regularity. Of course, eating out can make this a difficult task, so YMMV.
