Trust is earned not just given away. Especially in a relationship, and that's why you don't rush into things. If you and this girl are to have any future together you must be able to communicate with one another. The last thing you want to be is a detective with this girl, but it appears this is exactly what's going on due to her lying to you about deleting the guy on Facebook and than turning around and befriending him again. I would be curious as to why she deleted him and felt the need to befriend him again and than lie to your face? You need to lay your cards on the table with this girl and let her know what's going on in your head. If the two of you can't work through this than neither of you are mature enough to be in a committed relationship.
You should get your mind off it. Do something, get laid. I think I'm a very paranoid person by nature, lol. Believe me, this stuff will eat at you. I used to be in a relationship with this girl and I was pretty certain she did not talk to any other guys while she was with me. She gave me her FB info because she had nothing to hide. I know you may not want to hear this but sometimes when a girl isn't getting her needs fulfilled, she may start looking somewhere else. Cause, if you're not giving it to her, she'll find someone that will.
I did snoop once, and had the worst experience ever with it(within a period of 3 months broke up with her)...Trust is a huge huge huge deal for anyone in a significant relationship. The moment trust is lost, the relationship collapses... Now you will second guess her every move and more likely to spy on her email etc more frequently. You should just tell her the truth about accidentally looking at her FB and being concerned with something you saw on it. If she freaks out and gets really mad at you proceeds to change all her passwords, then you should know something is wrong. If she really is concerned about how you feel and makes a conscious effort to try appeasing your "concerns"...she is a keeper. If she doesnt really care how you feel...break up now. Bottom line time to reestablish trust in the relationship or break it off before things get more serious.
??? What is going on clutchfans? A bro is asking for advice, is in the right, has a shady gf... And some of yall are on her side? Hey baumer btw, is she blonde?
I don't think people are necessarily on her side (granted, I haven't read the entire thread) but I think people are saying that there's inherent trust problems with both sides of the relationship. Neither the OP or his gf appear to be open or trusting with one another.
He said they have been fine for the whole relationship until she started being untruthful. I don't understand what part op is wrong about.
Facebook ruins lives it's just too easy to reacquaint yourself with exes and the flirting that follows seems harmless until you two get into an argument and she vents to the ex and well you can see where that leads. Trust is gone and so is your relationship.
I haven't read the whole thread. To offer a different POV, if you spend enough time with lawyers who specialize in family law, you'll learn it's okay to trust your gut. You're both very young and at an early stage in your relationship. Once you add in real estate, children, cars, boats, stock options, and so on, it gets complicated. A friend of mine became suspicious of his wife some years back. He hired a PI. Report came back clean. There were some things she didn't share with her husband, however no infidelity. She never discovered what he did. They're both happily married still. He gets the peace of mind that everything he's put into the marriage and family won't get torn apart were she to run off with some younger man. What she doesn't know can't hurt her, and he can live with that. Some of the married posters in this thread with their nonchalance and trust make me envious. Maybe you're not like them. TL;DR It's possible to snoop for ease of mind without telling your SO and still remain together happily.
I've snooped a couple times on past girlfriends, either you find something that pisses you off, or you don't find anything but still feel suspicious. Bottom line, if you feel a NEED to snoop, then there is already bigger issues in the relationship. Just end it, and don't snoop in the next relationship. No good can come from it.
It sounds like you're being a bit too insecure/jealous and it doesn't seem like she's doing anything wrong. I'd forget about the whole thing and just stop worrying about what she's doing on Facebook. She moved in with you so it doesn't sound like she's itching to be with someone else. But if you start letting trust issues spring up you'll be out the door before you know it. Let it go.
I think there might be something to her refriending him, multiple times ive had people request me and i just click yes not even lookin i mean for f**ks sake its just FB. My wife had to point out to me i had friended a few exes without even much knowing, although i never talked with them i could see my wife didnt like it so i deleted them its just not worth the argument. Never did it run through my mind to refriend any of them, one of them i was with for almost 2 years even. She snoops on me every now and then, i always find out because shes sloppy about it, i dont have an issue with it because i dont care for FB drama and those sort of things. My advice is too confront her and if everything turns out ok then after both of you delete your FBs and be transparent with eachother
Two things, you think that providing her the safety of not flirting with girls or having relationships with other women is a good thing but it's not. A little jealousy is a good thing so flirt and have those relationships. Women say they want trust but they take it for granted when they get it, always. Second, it's obvious trust is important to you so this is a conversation you need to have with her. Tell her that you love her but from this point forward if you can't trust her, you can't be together. She has a clean slate from this point forward but if she lies to you about things like this then it's over. Be honest, be straight with her, and keep your word if she lies to you again. There's nothing worse than being with someone you can't trust. It will always end badly.
Why do you care bro? She is sleeping in your bed at night! I am friends with a bunch of ex GFs that are in relationships, and nothing happens. if you got a good girl, there should be no issues. I think your biggest problem is you're a bit insecure, you continue to reiterate that the messages are nothing to bad, so the fact that you know that and are still paranoid makes me feel you think you are somehow inferior to her ex/ex's.
