terrible update. So you went straight for the gold? and she flat out said no? what did you say that you want to take her out?
Well, it's obvious given your posts.... First, you're trying too hard... Secondly, you're far too excited over the simple act of approaching a girl with your interest....
Nice shoes, wanna... How about some **** and rice, hold the rice? Let's get a pizza and... what, you don't like pizza?
Don't discourage him... props for finally trying. He was most likely going to get shot down in this situation for the aforementioned reasons, but the more he can get used to it, the more he can learn from the experience and improve his approach next time.
Lol no after class I just talked to her the way I talked to all my friends, just asked her random questions like what she got on the last essay, what her favorite hobbies are, basically the random stuff. I wasn't impressed, but I gave her a final shot and asked if she'd help me study for the exam monday, she said she can't. So **** it, at least I won't have any regret now and can properly move on
Well, most of us already knew that this was coming, and if your honest with yourself you you did also, you didn't expect to have a chance in hell of getting a yes. honestly you probably couldn't even get a yes from an ugly girl. in fact, as an experiment, if i were you i'd find the ugliest girl on campus and ask her out. if she says yes you can practice becoming comfortable with girls and dating.
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Nice. Though might try to eliminate the idea of a "relationship" from the start...took me years to understand the difference between "dating" and a "relationship" as silly as that might sound. Another thing: confidence is overblown. A lot of people are extremely self-conscious and suffer from confidence issues. Focus on comfort, not confidence. Much easier to gain comfort in a scenario that will repeat itself in the future.
Nice to hear you aproached her and feel good about getting it done. Im in high school, and i also get close to how you get with girls that i like. I put so many expectations on how girls are based on there looks, get all emotionaly attached to thought of what could be, and put them on pedestals so high that i have no courage to even try to talk to them. p***y stuff i know, sucks. Good for you for going for it, keep it up, try it on some more girls you'r into.
Just think how many guys get thrown off by that coldness! You have an immediate advantage if you can just go talk to her. Go up to her and ask her an innocent question, like if the assignment was blab blah blah, or like if she knows when blah . That way, everything you say after that sounds smarter. And don't go in expecting to get a number or a date. Instead use that time to be a normal, cool guy who just wanted to ask her something. It's disarming. Just talk to her and she'll have more respect for you than just someone talking to her with a goal in mind (they can smell it). Also, do NOT linger. Girls hate that. Lingering is a sign you're waiting for her to make a move and girls hate that. It's preferable you leave the situation because you're busy with blah blah blah. If you remove all of your motives, she'll feel more relaxed and you have a real chance of connecting. If you don't connect, then don't sweat it. Why wouldn't you care about some random girl you didn't connect with? There are plenty of available women who want to connect with a guy. Maybe she just doesn't want to get with anyone. Now, if just talking to her about nothing sounds so bad, then maybe you need to start connecting with more people and challenging yourself to talk to more people. It may be that you aren't used to talking to people very much. Get yourself talking to all types of people and you'll get better with practice.
in my opinion, this whole thing WASN'T about if she'd go out with you, or respond to you in a positive way. It was ALL about you working through your fear of talking to a girl who you were attracted to. Big deal she wasn't responsive. This was obviously bothering you. Going up to someone that you don't know (especially a girl you're attracted to), can certainly be an anxious moment. You could have let the fear keep you from taking action, but you fought through it and you did it despite the fear. You my friend are to be congratulated. Let me also say the more you do this (take action despite being afraid) the easier it will become. Also, when it comes to girls, all it takes is ONE. You may go up to 100 beautiful women, and 99 of them shoot you down. However if one of them responds to you and likes you.....guess what.....you've found a beautiful girl and who knows where this can lead to. You want to get to the point where someone turning you down doesn't bother you. Trust me you won't be shot down 99% of the time, but I wanted to show you that all it takes is ONE. Don't let the momentum fade here. Keep going up to other women who you're attracted to. Not necessarily to ask them out, but to just be able to go up to them and start up a conversation. Like anything else the more you do it the easier it will become. Going through life and letting fear keep you from something is a HORRIBLE way to go. I have two kids who are 9 & 7 and I've been working with them on this for quite awhile now. Did you ever see the movie, "We bought a zoo"? There's a part in there where an older brother taught his younger brother about just having twenty seconds of courage. My kids definitely loved watching this, and they're seeing that anyone can be brave for twenty seconds. Congrats again!!!!