And then we wonder why adults in their 20's still act like children. Kids can be reasoned with and they are intelligent. There are entire countries that do no spank their children and they turn out to be moral and well behaved people. Being violent as way of dealing with a problem is completely backwards. Don't people wonder why we have such a violent society? When kids grow up with violence doesn't that then translate into a more violent adult population?
Thanks for the nice reply, I understand my post were a bit judgemental, and I will refrain from posting that way. It depends on the age of the child. I believe they are capable to understand action and consequence and right and wrong sooner than most. I believe in giving children responsibility. In your example i believe the punishment is to much for the crime. Ofcourse I was not in that situation so I do not know why your mother did what she had to do, and I do not know how old your brother was. But there were IMHO many other punishments possible before people result to physical action. For example threaten to leave the movie theatre (and if his actions continued actually leaving). or having him sit in a corner etc. But every child is different so I do not know what would have worked on your brother. But I would have tried everything else before spanking. Yes, however she is only 1 year old, so a firm No is always enough (or having to remove the object she want to hit the tv with:grin. I have had the same opinion i have now before I became a father. However seeing how much my daughter means to me, my opinion has even became stronger. Let me be clear, I believe a child needs to be a child, but there have to be clear boundaries, and these boundaries are strict. But at a certain point you have to give the child freedom to be responsible. Of course it depends on the child and some children cannot handle it, but in general children who are given the freedom to be responsible grow up to be responsible adults. IMHO
I do not think that is the case. Some people think spanking is a good teaching tool, others disagree. What way did you expect this thread to go to. I have heard one example of what type of action warrents a spanking, are there other examples? Also for the people who approve of spanking, do they also approve if a teacher at school spanks their child?
Didnt mean for it to sound that way when I asked if arno had kids. It's just that there's a difference between theories and practical application. Also every kid is different and requires a different approach. I used to think it was my sister's fault that her kids wouldn't eat certain foods. Thought it was because she let them get away with it, and always told her to just starve them. Tried that with my kid when he was 3. He didn't eat anything for a day and a half and had not a single care in the world.
I think a point can be made that dmc's parents probably knew what punishments wouldn't work on their child. For instance, my kid doesnt get phased by the standing in a corner thing. For him it's some magical place with pretend friends whenever I send him there. Ah a one year old. That was a good year. I personally think the terrible twos are overstated. It's age 3 and that's really bad, or at least in my case. In my case, I was physically abused as a child. Not the "my dads a drunk and will hit me because he had a bad day." It was more the over the top punishment for legitimate mischievous acts I committed. I swore I'd never hit my kid. But after timeouts, standing in corner, take away all toys, no food, and every other punishment you can think of didn't work, I had to incorporate corporal punishment into it. It's emotionally tramautizing for me because I love the boy so much it physically hurts sometimes. Honestly, I worry all the time if I'll damage his confidence or cause him to resent me when I spank him. I grit my teeth and do it though because it's more important that he learns his lesson. Every spanking is preceded by a thorough talk and explanation of what is going to happen. And afterwards, it is followed by another talk and a long hug. Thankfully the spankings are few and far in between nowadays. I am pretty sure I speak for most of the pro spanking parents here when I say we don't do it with any sort of glee.
I didn't interpret it that way. And I agree with you there is a difference between theory and the real life. I also understand every child is different. However I just do not believe in the concept of using fear/pain to teach a child.
Probably, but still I do not see me spanking my child ever, I still believe there must be another way to teach them. I understand that nobody has any sort of glee when punishing their child. I know my initial post was a bit harsh. I apologize.
I'm against. Let the punishment fit the crime, and further, let the punishment steer in a direction of solving the crime. Spanking just makes the parent feel better. If the parent's upset, frustrated, stressed, whatever, spanking relieves some of that internal strife. But it doesn't do anything good for the kid. Same thing with verbal abuse. I find myself yelling at my oldest all too often. Usually the reason is that I'm telling him something and I perceive him as not listening, but in reality, he's also telling me something and I'M the one who's not listening. Just trying to force my way on him. Which is a parent's responsibility, sure. But I'm also a human, which means I'm not always right.
yes i was spanked/hit for being a little bad ass kid, and now i turned out to be a pretty good person. that time out **** doesn't work - notice white kids being bullies and assholes cuz all they got were time outs (not all white kids #noracial)
