I can't decide if you're calling me unintelligent, or you just don't understand the meaning of the word "irony." Plz help.
Seriously atheist comments need to get out of here. Getting sick of your atheist **** flaunting. We get it. You can't not hate something. No matter how you try to turn a blind eye or even ignore something. It will always irk you. Its imbeded into us (selection/preference) I can't seem to get over my hate of showoffs and egotistical maniacs who are just narcissist. Or one dimensional thinkers. I get called a judger a lot, but i always come from a humble place when i say my mind. Even if i am pointing out things about people, its to give them a reality check to calm down.
Almost as ignorant as the creator post. Hate isn't embedded in anyone who isn't mentally ill. Hate is a choice. Being judgemental is a choice.
funny, because I usually find the people who have the most hate in their lives to be of the non-religious type. I am by no means a bible-beater, nor do I put the scripture above evolution or anything else that is explainable by modern science, but I feel by being a god fearing man, I have immense amount less of hate and anger in my heart as I see that many other men do. then again, I don't think I've really hated anyone or anything. maybe a bully or two when I was in middle school, but time is a funny thing. karma get's the best of everyone, it just depends which side of karma you're on. life has a funny way or resolving hatred, over time. people get theirs, I think most of us would agree on that; it's when they get theirs, will you still have that hate in your heart, or will you have forgiven them by that time?
I'm not a believer, though I do respect religious beliefs enough to know when not to pull **** out of my ass and pretend it smells like roses. Though I'm not the enabling type either. That said, it depends on the nature of your hate. Hating family is different than hating a coworker, or a neighbor, or a minority, or a sinner.... And vice versa. Think of it this way, you can't know hate without knowing love. Since knowing love generally is the result of a presence, physical/metaphysical/abstract. So the nature of your hates is also a notion that can't be cured in one magic bullet. And just as we sometimes love the idea behind the person more than the person herself, same applies with hate. So the journey you ask is one with different paths. Generally it feels easier to walk upon when you're grounded with love and relationships, though the real trial (if you were paying attention to the Book) usually comes from the absence of the former two and overcoming hate regardless. You might think it's harder to overcome hate without love and relationships, but it can be deeper to relate when you've lost and overcome than it is to not have lost while having the fear of losing everything. There's something paradoxical and possibly Biblical in that lesson.
That's your flaw. Your base assumption is false. Google "Cognitive Distortion" You have been conditioned to "hate" over time and that pattern gets burned into your neural brain and eventually it turns into an involuntary/unconscious response. Once you are aware of that, you can slowly alter your neural auto responses. You can't control what happens around you. You can't control how your body responds to stimuli. You CAN control how you interpret what happens.
I don't know the answer to your question. I know what helped me overcome things like that. But it's nothing you can teach or that I would even wish on anyone. When my father died, it helped me stop hating. I didn't hate my dad. Far from it. There were some other folks in my life, for whom I held onto a lot of negative feelings. But when my father died, I instantly felt a huge priority shift. I suddenly realized that to waste so much time and energy on someone that "hated" was a huge waste. I realized that I should focus my energy on spending time with people I really cared about and wanted to enjoy their company. A lot of other priorities went by the wayside as well, and I gathered that I should really focus on what was important. I'd heard people say to focus on what's important before, and I'd agreed with it. I even thought I was doing it. I just didn't really understand what it really meant until my father passed away. So maybe the answer is just to live life, and try and learn what you can from all the experiences that happen to you.
Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the person you're forgiving...maybe more so. Letting go of hate is a great way to live...certainly not easy...but it's freedom from letting someone else control how you feel.
I was lucky enough to have this realization before I lost anyone. I had a pretty huge rift with my sister right at the time my wife was pregnant with our daughter and for the first six months or so after. I finally realized that it wasn't worth my daughter growing up without her aunt because it wasn't my daughter's fault that we had the rift.
The easiest way to stop hating someone is, of course, to simply kill them and not have to deal with or think about them anymore. :grin: Yes, I kid
Well said. Thing is i am always trying turn a new page and not dislike people, but it turns into a smokers withdrawal. I guess some people will never change (reason why i keep feeling the same way about those people). Its like when your mad at a girl and then she gets mad at you bring mad type of thing. The more i try to reach out to these people, the more i get crowned a judgmental hater.
That's very good. I had nothing but love, admiration and respect for my father. Obviously I still wanted to have more time with him, and I just realized how pointless it was to waste time on something as insignificant as hating anyone, or resenting old girlfriends and all that garbage.
All true. You need to reach a point in your life where you realize you are only hurting yourselfby holding on to hate. It has nothing to do with religion.
Three things are needed, understanding, compassion and forgiveness. Nelson Mandela said this about hate: "No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." He had more reason than probably all of us on this board to hate yet showed understanding, compassion and forgiveness to his captors. If you think that it is hard for you to give up on hate think about what it was for him.
Actually I think the exact opposite. Kids are so mean to each other. The older we get the more we are able to accept other people and not become such haters. Some people don't ever manage to do it.
