right? why do they think we can read their minds, then get mad at us for not knowing something was wrong? talk to him like you're talking to us right now.
Guys, not exactly making a good case for us here... I would agree that women do tend to think we can read their mind in certain cases, but this one should be pretty easy to understand. Either she accepts and reciprocates the (P)DA or she doesn't. It sounds like she's turned him down on a few, or more, occasions. Common sense should tell a guy she doesn't like him or he's moving too fast. If she continues to date him after the first time it happens, then it's clearly the latter.
So to recap: I'll have this conversation with him in person soon. Of course I do not expect him to read my mind, which is why I started this thread. I knew I had to say something, just didn't know how. I really do like him, there is no other red flags and this is otherwise the best thing that has happened to me all year. So I want it to work. Thanks again all for your input, I really really appreciate the serious comments and helpful advice
This is just some pretty straight forward honest advice: Dump him. Now. Don't wait another minute. Call. Text. Say it to his face, just get it done. Spare him further disappointment. This is really about YOU, and not him. YOU are not ready for a serious relationship. My best advice to you is to date a few guys who are not relationship material. Only then will you learn what you really want and how to deal with it. This is what I see. Its not so much about the PDA. You are coming on a public forum asking for the most basic dating advice; How to communicate. If you're ready to turn tail because you do not know how to convey your feelings about PDA and need advice from others, you won't stand a chance when a real issue comes up. This is why you're not ready for a real relationship. Do yourself and the guy who could potentially be a serious mate a favor and learn how to deal with the most basic relationship issues on guys who are not relationship material to you.
There are types of women that take their romance novels/movies too seriously.... and think those "magical" elements should easily translate into real life relationships... That two individuals who are of two individual minds should be able to achieve total understanding of each other's thoughts without so much as a word spoken between them... no matter how dramatically affecting severe, individual circumstances may complicate matters... My personal favorite experience of this, is when the woman that actually believes this can and SHOULD actually be the case in "real" relationship is plagued with inconsistent behavior, forgetfulness, and hypocrisy... Yet, they'll merrily insist that it's not far-fetched for Disney's Pocahontas and John Smith to suddenly understand eachother's distinctly different languages through a "magical" silent touch... Hilarity ensues when this same type of woman... dares to call the opposite sex "weird"...
>I am a pretty straightfoward girl >Its definately a dealbreaker if he doesn't stop >I really like this guy >Cannot deal with any form of physical contact >Hoping he will learn of my concerns through telepathy >Resent him for making me communicate in a relationship Uhhh wat.
You could tell him, but I really don't think it will be that easy for him to stop doing it. This is more of a brain-wiring thing than it is anything else. I know the type of guy you want is more secure in their own skin, but probably ain't that type of guy and NEEDS this to validate himself. If you really like this guy, then you probably need to accept this fact and try to take small steps (on your part) to tone it down, without giving him an ultimatum, because that ultimatum is only going to feed into his insecurity even more and make it worse, in which case, you orchestrated your own demise of the relationship.
The other thing you could do, is validate him in other ways, by complimenting him so he wouldn't feel the need to always make sure that you still like him.
Sounds like halitosis/ bad hygiene to me. Either that or the dude is too butt ugly for you to let the public know you're definitely dating that ogre you are with/repulsed enough yourself that even private moments with him makes you gag.
