Exactly my thoughts. The latter thought would be for a guy who is incredibly full of himself though. OP, don't let the insecurity thing linger. It may not be true for your guy. But if you start seeing the signs, get rid of him quick. It will only get worse for you with time. The fact you are on here talking about this is already a bad sign. But constant PDA is for constant validation.
I don't think so. I'm also 31 and been married for almost 6 years so our perspectives may be different.
Didn't you post in the other thread you were going to date a guy out of your league? Or maybe it was Klutch QT.. I think people are still giving advice under the assumption that she's just a prude, but she's into a fairly new relationship, where the guy is moving too quickly, physically. I'm assuming she will be fine with affection, and more, as she gets deeper into the relationship, like most women.
Sounds like this guy's constant PDA has led her to think she is out of his league. Attraction from her has fled already, hence the reason the op is posting about this.
Ahhhhhh I see. Have you been letting him put his hands on you and have you been kissing him back? There are subtle ways to show that you aren't ready for that yet, but it will be really difficult to do that If the threshold has already been broken.
Yes. I am ok with some stuff, holding hands, hugs, putting his arm around me, a peck here and there. But not the super gross make out stuff.. In private, ok at some point Ill be ok with it, but in public? probably never
Sounds like the two of you don't know each other very well. (I'm going to say less than 2-3 months.) Otherwise he'd be able to read you better, and you wouldn't be as concerned with how to approach him. Either way, he's clearly moving too fast, and it's time for you to pump the brakes. There's nothing wrong with that. Just be considerate. I wouldn't wait until the two of you are in public to have this talk. Make sure it's in person, though. You definitely want to get a read his eyes and guage his emotional maturity (how he handles the discussion) to ensure he's compatible with you. Lots of times men are good about saying things (especially early in the dating processs) to endear themselves to women. Over time, however, the truth will always come out. I'm not saying that's the case here. It's just something to be keep in mind. Bottom line: if he's truly a gentlemen, then he'll accept your apprehension and make the adjustment. Period. If he's the right man for you, then this will all seem like a minor bump on the road to something bigger. In either case, ALWAYS trust your intuition. Best of luck.
As many have already advised you on what you should do, start by just straight up telling him. That is the best thing you can do. This gets the situation out in the open and then you can see his reaction. Either he will blow off the topic(really bad sign->should consider breaking up sooner rather than later), listens but is unwilling to change(bad sign->yall just may have different levels of comfort, and someone has to change and he most likely will not; may have to break up), listens and makes subtle changes(great sign->shows he cares enough to make changes to be more accommodating to your feelings as a person.), or listens and totally changes(bad sign->too needy, always looking to please you and has no identity...should break up). At least you know that if things fail, you'll have a line up of men to choose from right here on Cfans...lol...best of luck.
This is the part that got me and I'm surprised no one has commented on. He doesn't even know he's done anything wrong and you resent him because you have to TALK to him? This is why relationships break down - lack of communication combined with growing resentment.
For sure. From prior relationships, OP may fit the guy's heirachy of needs for what he's looking for. It may be that he expresses his feelings predominately in this manner. It may be that from a prior relationship that he was into, the girl responded to PDA and he's bringing those habits into the relationship not knowing better. Either way, he doesn't have the sense to realize he's moving too fast. Not good. OP, I think you gotta call him out. Could be positive, could be negative but likely for the best for you.
I could understand not knowing after a date or two. However, it sounds more like it's been several dates and this guy keeps trying and she's not biting. What kind of guy doesn't get a clue? I think that's where the resentment comes from. He should get it by now, but he doesn't. You've got to wonder about someone who's that clueless, whether it's a man or woman. Sure, the next step is to actually talk it out, but I think the issue now is he is coming across as less normal (average?) to her, which could be a red flag she was hoping to avoid, since she really likes him. She's wishing he would have gotten it, so he'd be "normal" and they could just move on with the relationship, but now she's stuck wondering what's wrong with him.
