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[breakup advice] ended a two year old relationship

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by putyouonthegame, Nov 27, 2013.

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  1. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    I absolutely love this girl but basically it just came down to the fact that she had a previous marriage and 2 kids.

    I never made the effort to meet her kids. She always asked me to do it but I always made an excuse. I just couldn't do it. I have 0 experience with kids.

    But I still love the girl. My one and only true love. Before this relationship I was only with someone for 3 months.

    The idea of a relationship is what made me stick it out with her.

    However, I can't keep her off my mind. I already got in touch with her saying I made a mistake, and she's not buying it.

    What do I do to get her off my mind? For now, I keep reminding myself that she has 2 kids and it will never work out but my feelings for her are too strong.
     
    #1 putyouonthegame, Nov 27, 2013
  2. CCorn

    CCorn Member

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    Wait who was 2 years old?

    But seriously just move on. It happens. If it was meant to be it will happen. Don't let it bother you
     
    #2 CCorn, Nov 27, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2013
  3. Asian Sensation

    Asian Sensation Member

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    It's your bad for getting serious with a chick that has a kid(s).

    I was in a similar situation and I think of her all the time even after a year but it's for the best to not be with her.

    It's tough but learn from it and move on. There's plenty of single bishes with no babies.
     
    #3 Asian Sensation, Nov 27, 2013
  4. fallenphoenix

    fallenphoenix Member

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    if you couldn't make the effort to meet her kids for 2 years, then i'd say you made the right choice. for her kid's sake, i'm assuming she isn't in the position to want to be messing around with someone who isn't fully committed. it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them, so stick it out.
     
    #4 fallenphoenix, Nov 27, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  5. pippendagimp

    pippendagimp Member

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    take a trip somewhere, maybe south america
     
    #5 pippendagimp, Nov 27, 2013
  6. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    ya this is something i fought with myself in the past 2 years. I would find myself one day thinking wtf am i doing, why am i with her.. i just kept lying to her, oh eventually i'll make it work, i'll meet them etc and it's not the right time.

    And lately, i just felt her interest was dwindling .. i wasn't surprised. Who would stay with that kind of feeling knowing that it will end eventually.

    I know it's for the best, but like i said i've only had 1 relationship before her, and that wasn't even a relationship (only for 3 months) .. i just feel so lonely right now and have this sick feeling in my stomach. She's such a sweetheart.. was the perfect gf .. i have such an empty feeling right now.

    what makes it even tough is that i have 0 support, no friends, barely talk to anyone else .. so it just makes me feel even worse. So i either have to suppress my emotions or go online to express myself.

    I'm turning 27 in 2 weeks and if i've had lack of success with females before, this will just keep on continuing. I am not a prize, which is why i stuck with her.
     
    #6 putyouonthegame, Nov 27, 2013
  7. Hayden_SFC

    Hayden_SFC Member

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    Wait, you love her, but don't want the responsibility of her children?
    Then you don't truly love her, and you sound a bit selfish....not that there is anything wrong with that, maybe that's just you. That's apparently not the life you want.
    But, just know how many people would love to be in a position like that, many never find love at all.

    If it's worth it...get out of your own way.
     
    #7 Hayden_SFC, Nov 27, 2013
  8. Panda23

    Panda23 Member

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    gotta accept em warts n all.
     
    #8 Panda23, Nov 27, 2013
  9. RV6

    RV6 Member

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    How can you be with a woman for 2 yrs and never meet her kids? That's a red flag for BOTH of you. If i was a single dad and my girlfriend didn't make any effort to meet my kids after, at least a few months, then i'd know there was a major problem there.

    I can't even imagine you two did anything meaningful in those 2 years in that situation. Holidays, birthdays? Did you always celebrate things at a separate time wit her, without her kids?
     
    #9 RV6, Nov 27, 2013
  10. dback816

    dback816 Member

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    Go play some video games

    But seriously, two years and never even met her kids? That's kind on you to keeping it going for so long and never want to commit to it.
     
    #10 dback816, Nov 27, 2013
  11. Asian Sensation

    Asian Sensation Member

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    Trust me I know what you're going through and the more you dwell on it the more worthless and hopeless you will feel.

    You have to focus your energy and mind on something else. Focus more on your job and join the gym and lift or play basketball or whatever else sport you enjoy. Go out and make an effort to meet people and make new friends.

    There's a reason why you wondered "WTF am I doing and why am I with her"? You would never question yourself if you KNEW she was the one.

    My other best advices are to keep your head up, buy some new clothes, watch your diet (now is not the time to eat whatever and let yourself go) and join Match in addition to doing what I told you above.

    Good luck Breh.
     
    #11 Asian Sensation, Nov 27, 2013
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  12. Eric Riley

    Eric Riley Member

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    No such thing.
     
    #12 Eric Riley, Nov 27, 2013
  13. bobloblaw

    bobloblaw Member

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    I don't necessarily blame her for not wanting to give you a second chance. If you loved her you would have accepted her kids. It sounds pretty cruel to her. No reason to get back together with her if you can't accept someone with kids...
     
    #13 bobloblaw, Nov 27, 2013
  14. Asian Sensation

    Asian Sensation Member

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    Exactly.. She's doing him a favor. It's up to him to not be complacent and make the effort to upgrade.
     
    #14 Asian Sensation, Nov 27, 2013
  15. dback816

    dback816 Member

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    You're so cool and edgy.
     
    #15 dback816, Nov 27, 2013
  16. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    she's not a full time mom. she has her kids half the week (sun-thurs) so during those days we wouldn't meet, but we would talk. We planned everything for days she didn't have them. So now that i think about it, i can't even call this a full time relationship.

    but we always talked, every single day.. so it always felt like she was beside me the whole time.

    the guy who called me selfish hit the nail in the head .. many times she called me a selfish ****.

    but i'm thinking there's another guy in the picture.. her coworker she would always mention that he asks about her kids and showed more interest than i ever have.

    while she hasn't come right out and said, i'm suspecting it and that's why I'm thinking she's not giving me another chance.

    we did end on a really bad note though. i said bad things to her (this is before she told me about her coworker and after i ended with her).

    so ya, i want to let her go but my mind's not letting me. :mad::(
     
    #16 putyouonthegame, Nov 27, 2013
  17. dragician

    dragician Member

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    watch teh rockets game tonight.
     
    #17 dragician, Nov 27, 2013
  18. Eric Riley

    Eric Riley Member

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    Wasn't trying to be. People need to stop thinking that out of billions of people on the planet, only one person is meant for them. If this woman was really this guy's "one and only" true love then that means he's ****ed for the rest of his life.
     
    #18 Eric Riley, Nov 27, 2013
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  19. tmacfor35

    tmacfor35 Member

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    LOL this guy................




    Is 100 percent correct.
     
    #19 tmacfor35, Nov 27, 2013
  20. bobloblaw

    bobloblaw Member

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    Try not to think about the pink elephant. If you are trying to convince yourself that you need to get over her you're obviously going to continue thinking about her. Just let the situation be and accept that it's over.
     
    #20 bobloblaw, Nov 27, 2013
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