So, I've been here about a month, and I'm miserable. I feel physically and mentally exhausted. I feel nauseous most of the time (probably because it's hard to get real food without spending a fortune) and I often have trouble motivating myself to get out of bed. I hate almost all of my classes. I decided to try to get most of my Gen. Ed requirements out of the way this semester; so I'm only taking one class that's directly related to my major. I love that one, but everything else just sucks the life out of me. There's not enough time in the day, I barely sleep or socialize because I'm usually studying or doing schoolwork, and even still I can barely keep up. I'm sure that this is all common complaints of college students, and I'm not posting this to whine, I'm seriously looking at all of it and asking myself whether or not I'm cut out for this (and whether or not it's worth the money). Of course, leaving would present a whole new set of problems. For as long as I can remember, I was always told I was going to college. It didn't matter if I ended up learning a trade, my parents were always very, very clear: I was going to a 4 year institution after high school, no question about it. I can't even imagine how to break it to them that I'm not cut out for college. Then there's the whole disappointment factor. I feel like I'm carrying the weight of everyone's expectations. Out of all my cousins, I'm only the 2nd one to get into a 4 year program. There's this false sort of prestige built around me in my family- I'm supposed to be the smart one. The successful one. The perfect one, who was going to make it big. I'd feel like I let everyone down if I left. And worse, I'd feel like a massive failure that I couldn't actually finish school, especially because so many other people my age have no problem graduating. Plus, I really don't have a plan for what I want to do. I'm afraid if I leave, I'll just end up working in food service again and living with my parents. I really want to travel, and see the rest of the world (I've never left the East Coast of the US). But, wanderlust costs money, and aimlessly wandering around doesn't really sound like a smart plan for my future. I'm sure I sound like a lazy, entitled millennial- and to some extent I probably am just that. I'm almost certain I'll get a fair share of responses telling me to suck it up and deal with it. But I just feel so freaking depressed. Is this really the best of what life has to offer? It seems my only two options are to suffer and work my life away as a student/white-collar worker or suffer and work my life away in food service. Is this just what living is? It all seems so bleak, what the hell is the point?
Yes I hated that as well, but I only had one semester like that, and I still had two courses for my major. I feel your pain. Yes, life sucks. It's not good out here. The bit that you are in is the BEST bit. So there's that to feel worse about.
First of all, you sound like you're really putting yourself through the ringer mentally. "Suck it up" would be bad advice. But I would recommend taking a mental "step back" wherever you can, and realizing that not every test and every moment of college is worthy of that level of stress. You still have to find time to enjoy yourself and work balance into your routine. Each day that you can, spend at least an hour exercising, socializing, playing limited video games, writing music, reading, whatever works for you. One of the biggest benefits of college is that it teaches you how to prioritize. When everything is important, you have to focus on what's critical. Also, don't be so hung up on your parents and family's expectations. You are your own person and there are a lot of ways to live a good life. People's assumptions and expectations of who you are will never be perfectly aligned with reality.
Why are you depressed? What's the source of that? Being away from family? Not having a gf? Wanting to socialize more? Make yourself happy first, because youre going to be miserable in college or out of college if you are depressed. If youre taking only general ed courses, you really dont need to be spending your whole time studying unless you are doing it all wrong. If you made it to a 4 year college, you can graduate from that same school...so dont have the thought that you cant do it. You just have to figure out why youre spending so much time with those classes while others are able to study, eat, sleep, and party.
Suck it up for now. Travel after you graduate. Then work for the rest of your life. You'll be glad you finished school. Growing pains young padawan!
Do it for yourself, not for others. Don't worry about what others will think of you in the future. Don't worry whether you have reached their expectations. Don't worry if they are happy about whether you finished college or not. It seems like you are not happy with how things are going. (Physically, Emotionally, Interpersonally, Spiritually, Intellectual). Let go of all your doubts and try to make yourself happy. If you wanna travel, try to find things in college that allows you to study abroad. You need to try to be more involved in college. just my 2 cents.
I felt a little depressed the start of my freshman year, but that was mostly because I missed many of my friends in high school. Once I got more involved in activities and networked, I got over that quickly. Also, pick a major you have interest in. It will make school more interesting.
Maybe you should drop a class. There is no shame in it. It takes time to adjust. Just don't quit all together. It gets better.
Unless dropping a class puts him into the part-time student category. Then he loses all federal/state financial aid considerations.
get as much work and educational experience as you can - as young as you can get it. until you find your niche, use your free time to pursue other business ventures and explore/'create' (i.e. start a business, a band, invent something, find a profitable hobby, stock market). finding balance and fulfillment is key. that said you can basically learn everything online for free (thanks internet) - you can be educated without that piece of paper, but that degree is a door-opener, so i'd encourage you to stick with it.
It's extremely difficult to get a good job [career] with a college degree -- only about 30% of Americans actually even have a diploma -- imagine trying to get a good job without one. If you have the opportunity to go to college take every advantage to get that degree. You mentioned you enjoyed the class pertaining to your major so imagine when you finish your GE courses -- college really is enjoyable once you finish off the basics. _____ Last year, 33.5 percent of Americans ages 25 to 29 had at least a bachelor’s degree, compared with 24.7 percent in 1995, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. In 1975, the share was 21.9 percent. The number of two-year college degrees, master’s degrees and doctorates has also risen recently. The increases appear to be driven both by a sharp rise in college enrollment and by an improvement among colleges in graduating students. The trends could bring good news in future years, economists say, as more Americans become qualified for higher-paying jobs as the economy recovers. link
College just isn't for some people and there's no shame in that. Don't let others pressure in to making you feel like you're a loser if you don't get a 4 year degree. There's so much that this world has to offer without getting a degree. Definitely do what's best for you man.
Not everyone is meant for college. A lot of people go and not a lot of people finish. That doesn't mean that you are "dumb" or not equal. But it will make a difference if you have a particular field that you would want to get involved in. I have know people that have a HS Diploma and make over 300k, it is right place, right time, right grind.... Books give you a leg up, but hard work and who and what you know are just as valuable..
Geez stick it out - you will LOVE It...... College is amazing a great time in your life you are just going through normal anxiety. Relax it gets a WHOLE lot better. DD
Hey don't feel bad man! The best thing you can do is surround your self with positive people and go and make friends! I recommend joining a club or some kind of organization where you have a separate advisor from your major advisor! I know at UH we have tons of programs that match students up with great support systems and it really helps. And also know your limits. A lot of times the degree plans advisors give you are simply NOT realistic. College for most people isn't a 4 year program. If you want to get valuable work experience and graduate with a sound GPA look to take less hours. You don't have to take 15-18 hours a semester. Take 12 and use your free time to be more involved around campus. It will lower your work load and also help build your leadership experience too. As a recruiter/mentor for the University I can tell you that the best way you can start enjoying college is by immersing your self in the environment. And as far as studying goes I recommend adopting a stud program. For ex. at UH in our engineering dept. we promote a program called the 4.0 program. It really helps students who want a structure in their education and is a great way to stop study anxiety.
I think most Europeans take a year off before they go to university. I don't think that's a dumb idea if you want to do it. It's better than blowing yourself up mentally over it. I went to school for 5 years and never graduated. Opportunity came up and I took it before I ever graduated. I would like to have a degree but it never hindered me. But I am in IT so that does make a difference in that matter.
