Where's the most embarrassing place you've ever farted in public?

That would be me.

It was in Little League. I was probably 12. It was during the fall season.

For whatever reason, a lot of players that usually played in the fall decided to skip that fall season, so to be able to field a full league of teams, they had to combine a bunch of age groups. Because of that, you had guys my age playing against guys that were in high school. And in this case, they weren't just any high school kids. The guys that were on the high school team decided to play Little League fall ball that year so you had wide-eyed kids my age playing against guys that were going to be playing Division I college baseball in just a couple of years.

Anyway, I was on a team mostly made up of kids my age and on this particular day I was pitching against a team made up mostly of kids on the high school team. I was getting shelled and at one point one of the better hitters on the team hits a rocket right back up the middle. It deflects off the bill of my cap and then hits me square in the forehead. I get knocked backward off the mound and pop right back up because I was in shock and the pain hadn't hit me yet. Even though I swore I felt fine, my coach took me out.

I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom to take a second to collect myself. It was at that point I realized something didn't quite feel right. And sure enough, it wasn't. It turns out that in that second where I was getting blasted with that line drive, I had lost control of my bowels and soiled my pants. I waddled back out of the bathroom and tried to discreetly tell my mom what had happened so we could get the hell out of there, but I'm pretty sure that based on how quickly we left and the way I was walking, everyone knew.

TL;DR....When I was 12, I got hit with a line drive and crapped my pants.

 

Winner. That is the only story that made me laugh. That's a good one.

 

I had been constipated for ten days or more. I really needed to poop; I took 3 laxatives, had cramps all night but nothing else. In the morning I waited for something to happen but nothing did. I had to go shopping. A few days before I bought some disposable adult diapers I decided to put two on. I went out as soon as I got to the bus stop I felt the laxatives beginning to work and really needed to go. I parted my legs and strained for a few minutes; then I dropped a large log in my diaper followed by four smaller lumps. I began to feel better. I got on the bus and sat down. I needed to poop again there were not that many people on the bus I lifted myself off the chair and dropped three more hard logs and sat down I knew there was more on its way I was having bad cramps. I reached my destination and got off the bus I suddenly had to squat and relieve myself I pretended to look in my handbag and proceeded to drop half dozen lumps of really hard poop. My nappy was beginning to fill up. I reached the supermarket I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable I went to the middle aisle I squatted pretending to look at washing powder and relieved myself this time it was mushy with a few farts mixed in 5 minutes later I got up and paid for my goods I knew people were looking at me as I smelt bad I decided to walk home stopping and squatting to poop. I reached where I lived and had to cross the road I was desperate to poop and decided to go there and then I strained with such force that it leaked out of my diaper and got home and showered and put on another diaper. Overall a great experience.

 

In a movie theater with a new girlfriend. One accidentally came out, both noise and smell were very noticeable. Tried to blame it on the person sitting behind us, looking around with a very accusatory look on my face...only to see that there was nobody sitting within 5 feet in each direction.

 

Were people sitting there before?

 

Damn those invisible people that always farts around you!

 

what the hell did i just read

 

I was working out at the YMCA when I went to go get a drink of water.

The place where the water fountain is kind of a hall with the walls about 7 to 8 feet from each other so pretty close.

So i noticed my right shoe was untied so i squat down to tie my shoe and my ass is about an inch of the ground.

At this point there is no going back even i didn't realize what happened until it happened I let out a DRY one and the fart sound ricocheted off the tiles and echoed in the hall where and the fart sorta reverberated to the opening of the hallway.

It was extremely loud and gross sounding a lot of people started walking away quickly and one elder lady started covering her nose.

Good times...

 

I've let a few fly on stage and thankfully with drums going I don't think any have heard them. I feel pretty bad though for my harmonica player standing behind me.

The most noticeable one I've done is I was training with a really good Russian Judo player visiting the US who was trying to show me a move out of the guard. For those who've watched MMA will know why this position is particularly bad to cut one. So the Russian is in my guard talking me through the move and as I execute it I rip one right there into his face. I apologize and he says in heavy Russian accent "No problem, it normal."

 

Do you know how difficult it is to resist the Soviet Russia meme now?

By the way, for those of you wondering WTF to DwightHoward13 (probably not Dwight Howard, I hate to suggest, after that story -- or let us hope): what we're reading is our future if we live to our 80's. And yeah, yikes.

 

3040 or 3050?

 

I fart on stage ALL THE TIME. If a singer turns around and makes a nasty face, I just motion to the horn section (right next to me) and roll my eyes. Never fails.

Just a few months ago, me, my wife, and 4 of her (really hot) friends were going to a wedding in the same car. I had to move my car out of the driveway so the girl who was driving could get out. I cut a HUGE fart just before I got out and locked the door.

Just then, my wife informed me that we were driving instead of the other girl.....

 

3040, just a temp summer job though.

 

Cool...that's where I'm at. I'm just going to randomly start asking peeps if they're mfastx.

 

I forget exactly how old I was but around 4th or 5th grade. We were doing the fitness competition thing in PE and while doing sit ups, person holding my feet, ripped not one but a couple...perfectly timed at the top of a sit up.

Bad day for me!

 

haha nice man.

well, if you see a 6'1" white college age kid with a widows peak walking around.

it's probably me lol

 

If you see a George Clooney clone, about 6'3", that's me.

Well, the height anyway. Little chin beard, all salt and pepper like the distinquished 36-year-old I am.