Where's the most embarrassing place you've ever farted in public?

Nurse's office in middle school. There were a lot of student in there, as usual, and I had to get the machine gun farts. It was rather embarrassing. Needless to say, I went home that day sick and ashamed.

 

I was with some friends having dinner at a Chinese restaurant and there was a table across from ours with some really pretty girls. Throughout our meals we all were making small talk between the two tables. Well we were about to leave and I decided I was going to walk over to their table, introduce myself and maybe get a number. I get over there and just as I was about to say my name I let out a powerful rumbling fart. The look on their faces.... They didn't say a thing, they just looked at me. All I could do was turn and walk away with my head down.

 

party

 

Farted once at the office and then literally 2 seconds later someone came by

Most definitely smelled it

Shrug

 

Dutch Oven

 

I don't give a rat's ass, I fart in people's faces all the time

 

From about 5th through 9th grade, I would get nervous gas during school presentations. I'm not sure when it started and I'm not even really sure when it ended, but virtually every time I had to stand up in front of class I could feel farts coming on. I HATED giving presentations and this just made things worse. Now usually I had my ass clinched so tight nothing would come out, but on occasion one did escape. However one time, in speech class in 6th grade. I was doing a skit with 2 other guys. It was mock newscast and I was doing the weather. I was up there doing my nervous boring thing and I was just getting more and more stressed and the gas was building up strongly in my intestines. One of the other guys ad libbed a funny line during my weather and everybody laughed including me which caused my ass to relax, releasing a thunderous fart upon the classroom. Laughter to immediate silence, the silence lasted maybe 2 seconds but damn if that wasn't the longest 2 seconds of my life. The worst part was that the teacher recorded the skits and we were forced to watch them the next day. I always hated re-watching the skits but this time I couldn't take it. I just put my head down closed my eyes and covered my ears and shed a couple of tears. This other kid in there had to tap me on the arm and tell me it was over.

Eventually in High School I somehow got over my nervousness and the gas issues went away. Amazingly as part of my job now, I give occasional presentations (maybe twice a month) and gas is never a problem, but if for some reason I'm at all stressed about it, I take a beano and a gas x, just to be on the safe side.

 

It was in the middle of biology class in the 7th grade. We were testing and my stomach was hurting from holding in all the gas. I took it upon myself to try and let it slowing leak out as if I were blowing out a candle. I didn't quite realize the abundant amount of pressure that truly was there and as soon as I discreetly lift a cheek I ripped one so loud and powerful I was surprised I didn't lift from the seat. The best part about it was that the plastic chair additionally amplified the loudness. I at first was mortified and then began to uncontrollably laugh along with some of my best friends. It was pretty epic.

 

The real question is:

Who has any embarrassing shart stories??

 

The most embarrassing fart I have had as an adult was while doing certain things with my girlfriend. Her and I were doing the dance to my reluctance (I was having some stomach issues at the time, but she was insistent so I obliged) and she pressed on my stomach while given the the old knob a shine. t and out came a squeaker. We both instantly burst out into laughter, and because of that laughter the pressure built and my flatulence became uncontrollable. Fast forward about 15 minutes and we were back at it. It was a pretty endearing moment, we grew closer that night. :grin:

 

On the elevator alone headed down and couldn't hold it any more. Was just hoping that the smell would be minimal or nonexistent as I hadn't eaten anything that would preclude this. I waited until I knew it wouldn't stop again until the ground floor and let 'er rip. Of course, the smell was absolutely awful and when the doors opened, there was a big group from my office getting on to head back up. I just held my nose and blamed it on a Bechtel employee that "got off on 11". They knew though. They knew.

 

Right in the middle of the TAKS test back in the day. It was a long drawn out fart in a room of like 200.

 

Haha, I work in the building next to Bechtel tower.

 

Strangely enough, your mom witnessed my most embarrassing fart.

 

Do you remember RM95's fart too?

So far Blatz wins going away. it is a story of longing and heartbreak, where no words were exchanged, only gas.

EDIT: um, thadeus... "witnessed"? ewww.

 

Wasn't there personally, but it's legend around here.

 

I do, but I aint sharing ****.

 

Nice, I see what you did there.