Where's the most embarrassing place you've ever farted in public?

should have lit it on fire.

 

I always get next to somebody in public so they can be blamed.

 

I was in the studio, usually security always closes the door. Well this time he didn't, beyonce walked thru a green cloud of gaseous material. I couldn't ****ing stop laughing. Beyonce smelled my fart dude. Yonce man.

 

I don't think people get as mad at hearing one but the smell. That always gets me

 

I don't fart in my office because it's a closed environment and my staff would smell it when they came in.

Most embarrassing was way back in high school when I blasted one loudly that everyone in class heard.

 

In the seminary while praying the holy rosary.

 

My wife once **** in some bushes along the TC Jester hike/bike trail in the Heights.

 

Getting a science award from some people at NASA at school.

Wrong time to get the B.G'z. it smelt like a dead rat rolled in year old garbage on top of it.

 

I like how no matter the topic, someway, somehow, you subtly manage to point out your job, position, wealth status, etc.

 

When I sold cars I ripped one when finalizing a deal.

 

Ok.....

I was about 23. My oldest son was 3 or 4. I took my wife, my son, my nephew and my niece to Disney World. We went in to a restaurant to get something to eat. My wife, son and niece got in line to get some food. My nephew and I headed to the restroom. The restroom was upstairs.

It was the type of stairs that had 5 or six stairs, hang a right on the flat part and go 5 or 6 stairs more. I had to fart pretty bad and I knew wasn't gonna make it all the way to the restroom so I decided to deploy one on the flat part of the stairs since it was away from everyone. I backed up to the wall and let one fly. My nephew started laughing really hard. I said, it wasn't that funny. He said look down. I didn't notice the part where I was standing was a half wall with nothing toward my feet.

I looked down and there was a family of 4 looking up at my ass. The mom and dad looked at me like....YOU NASTY MF'er... The kids had that EWWWWWW look on their face. Dude probably spent 2 or 3 grand on taking his family to Disney World only to be shat on.

My nephew and I still laugh about that one.

 

One time in school, fourth grade, I bent over to pick up my pencil that rolled onto the floor and one ripped out like a mother. Mind you, it was dead silent in the class room because we were all working. I'm laughing thinking back on it. It was hilarious.

 

This. Funny thing is everyone looked at the guy behind me and he got blamed. I just sat in silence, but the poor guy looked around like he was guilty.

 

Years ago during trial the defense attorney ripped ass when he stood up for closing argument. I snickered and then several jurors laughed.

 

Should have cause a mistrial.

 

For a moment, I thought bigtexxx was possessed by the spirit of hotballa.

 

What made it worse was that the attorney was a short, portly man that had a suit 3 sizes too small for him and was dripping sweat.

 

NSFW

Spoiler

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I farted in middle school during a very quiet quiz. I tried to let it out slowly hoping it would be a soft whisper. What came out was a long drawn out high pitch trumpet. Then I tried to play it off like I was humming something (during an exam? who the fuzz hums during an exam?). My teacher, Ms. Weeks, stopped typing on her computer when the trumpet blew. Nobody ever said a word about it.

The second was like last month, I was proctoring finals in a large hall. I was sitting in front on a desk and stood up to receive a stapler from another proctor and let out a "BRAH" like it was calling out a fellow CFer. It was short, but with purpose.