Having personal, deeply held views on how I want my relationship to progress is selfish? Especially ones that are meant to preserve the romantic notion of a relationship and the emotion and physicality that accompany them? If that's selfish, then I firmly commend myself.
I've seen others say in this thread, SHE has needs too, you are looking at it exclusively from your side which imo is selfish. A relationship is about TWO people Like i said earlier, your rules seem pretty arbitrary to me. Emotion does not have a timetable. Having dead set rules and deadlines makes the entire process emotionless and robotic
gatsby, Whatever you do, please do not show this thread to your girl. She will surely be turned off by your immature, selfish way of thinking. Courtship is a delicate dance where you need to feel, be in sync with your partner and go with the flow. You can't just arbitrarily fix a date to kiss without understanding how your girl feels at that moment. It's just not about you -- it is about the both of you. Only then will it be a meaningful kiss. Sorry to say that your "model" of love and life is not aligned with the reality of relationships. The closer your beliefs and views are to reality, the more peaceful and happy you will be. That being said, I want you to succeed in your love. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a happy couple together. Good luck!
I think what is confusing to a lot of people is the notion of a time line, rather than an emotional attachment line. If you were waiting til marriage as a moral and religious choice that would be easier to understand, but not being married and having sex after a year and a half comes across as arbitrary because morally there isn't necessarily anything different after a year and a half to justify the sex that wasn't there after 6 months or a year or any where in between. If marriage isn't a prerequisite, then both of you being in love makes more sense to me if you want to be selective in your partners, how ever long or short it takes to get there. Unless you are the type of person who falls in love at first sight or something, which would certainly be a strong contrast to your dating progression speed. If you both really love each other then you don't really have to worry about the sex not being meaning full, which seems to be your primary reason for delaying.
I've decided to make this thread more interesting for you all. She's in this: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OFvEBh-kcsg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
