Let your Muslims friends know go to the mosque and tell the imam, volunteer at masjid, you'll get in contact with some older muslim women, you'll get a reputation of a good muslim, score
i'm muslim, and that sucks, so if you go the arranged route, you're gonna have no choice at all? usually you have the right to reject.
No, I have a say. I think I made it sound 1000 times worse than what it really is. I just am not comfortable with my parents choosing a partner for me, They've kinda dictated what I have done most of my life, So I don't want this decision to be another
My guess is, usually your parents have more insight than you give them credit for. See what their best offer is, while you do some of your own research, then compare notes.
A 28 year old co-worker of mine from Pakistan got arranged married to a 16 year old. I'm not really comfortable with that.
That's not how it works. He wants to be with one woman for the rest of his life, I'm guessing, not remarry.
LCAhmed I am not a Muslim but there is some logic behind grading someone a you called it by what the father has done and how the family is. This is where the old saying "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" comes from. Of course this method isn't 100% accurate so you shouldn't just base your judgement solely on this. As a parent myself I want to know with whom my kids are hanging out with and who their parents and siblings are. Hopefully I can help my kids from experiencing unnecessary pitfalls and heartache. Regardless I commend you in wanting to make your own footprints and not ride on your families coat tails! ........... ........... ...........
I'm under the impresson that bobmarley would have us return to the 1800s, at least culturally/socially. It's probably worth adding that his 1800s is probably largely imaginary, like most versions of the past that are sparkling with moral certainty and well-behaved people.
That is sweet that you are impressed by me Thad. Means the world to me. You have any children you would like to setup arranged marriages for?
So is this thread just going to keep going and talking about how unrealistic, and possibly misogynistic, OP's views toward women are?
Wow, I dont have misogynistic views towards women, and not unrealistic, just hard to come by. What's wrong with having high standards? And no, I hope this thread changes directions. Arranged Marriage: getting engaged/married right away as to prevent "sin" Traditional Marriage: dating women until I find someone I am comfortable with, possibly move in, get engaged for another period of time, then get married. All of which I am sure I, nor any other man could resist "sin" Unfortunately in a religious aspect, I feel more comfortable with Traditional rather than Arranged. But, I am who I am.
Thanks for being open about this and discussing this. The problem lies with an ass-backwards ideology and culture that would encourage people to marry their (often underage) first cousins (or even closer) in arranged marriages because this supposedly "reduces sin", even though it is known that this type of consanguinity (incest) increases the risk of genetic diseases over the generations considerably (not to even mention the fact that the underage females who are treated like property in these arrangements often do not have much actual choice). This ideology and culture is inferior, and stupid. LCAhmed, I encourage you to open your eyes and free yourself from the shackles of your ideology.
