I met my wife on a blind date through mutual friends when we were 19. I'm 26 now and the marriage is as strong as ever. Does that count as an arranged marriage???
Na, I would say arranged is something out of your control, you have no say in it. You had a say on whether or not you were going to continue seeing your wife after that initial blind date.
Unless you only want a wife for an object, you will not want to marry an 18 year old when you are 30. I'm 26 and I find myself annoyed more often than not when I'm around 18-22 year olds. It's hard to judge someone from their posts on a basketball forum, but you seem like a bright guy. To me, that is a reason why you should search for someone who you l-o-v-e (and yes, I realize how lame I sound here) and who will be an intellectual and social match for you. Were you an all-around moron, I would probably just say, "Yeah, sure: go ahead and get a piece of ass who likes to cook, clean and be submissive." You can do it, brah. Didn't you take the pretty lady to the prom? (Or was that someone else?)
Thank you sir for your compliment. And yes, that was me, among other people who posted their prom stuff (713). I thought I found someone with an intellectual match who also met like 7 other criteria on my "list". But again, things have changed. I am yet to find someone who meets half of what that other woman met (yes, woman, not girl) which may have been a sham to begin with. So I might have to break down this perfection wall I have and become more realistic?
Does it have to be 100% out of your control? I mean I understand if the marriage was arranged when you we're a child, but your 23yrs old. I'm sure that you could find out who is available out of your (cousins/ friends of the family) and start getting to know if their is anything that might seem like a logical choice. I would hate to get paired up with someone I have nothing in common with. If you do find someone suitable in that circle, then chances are they might have the same feeling towards arranged marriages, that is a stonger desire to make it work! Which is always a good thing in a marriage! Good Luck!! (P.S) I also think your a cool cat!... Respect the no-sins comment... ........... ........... ...........
As to the original question of stigma, yes there will be some. Accepting an arranged marriage brands you as not really integrated in society, so you'll get some xenophobic reactions depending on how strong that moves in people. And, I wouldn't mention that your wife is your cousin in polite company in the US either -- and unless it's a first cousin, it doesn't matter much anyway. But, aside from stigma, I'd urge you for your personal well-being to take some control even in an arranged marriage. I think the marriage for love business is overrated (though I married for love and it's working out fine), and the idea proposed in this thread of spending a few years together and living together first seems laughable in an arranged marriage context. I think people can learn to love the person they marry. But, can't you still have some control? See some pictures, read some resumes, do some interviews, and maybe even have a period of courtship before your and fiancee give consent? It seems like agreeing with no information is too much of a gamble for both parties.
Good luck with that...are you Anna Megan Raley? <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D3j_fdSpkmE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Even in American Muslim culture now, parents would set their children up, but the final decision is up to couples if they seem compatible to each other. I haven't heard of any forced arranged marriages with any of my Muslim friends. But they have been set up by their parents and agreed to it because they like the person. Which is still somewhat their choice.
Someone has probably mentioned this already, but I've always thought that "traditional marriage" in the non-gay context WAS arranged marriage. Haven't marriages until recently been basically arranged to some extent everywhere in the world?
