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"Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood"

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by basso, Apr 23, 2013.

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  1. basso

    basso Member
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    Rust never sleeps...

    --
    Christian couple maintains abstinence through first two years of marriage

    TOPEKA — Jon and Darla Crocker, who dutifully abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely.

    “If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.

    They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain.

    Sometimes after dinner they will kiss in the kitchen and “start having bedroom thoughts,” Darla says, but they never fail to pull back. Darla breaks away to spray cool, misted water on her face. Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood.

    They don’t know when they’ll finally break the pledge, and they feel no pressure. After abstaining so long before marriage, “a few extra years is nothing,” says Darla.

    “Of course, we don’t lord it over any other couple who decides to have sex after marriage, but for us it’s about staying faithful to the abstinence message and the holiness involved with that,” says Jon who seems unbothered. “For us, true love waits, and waits, and waits.”
     
    #1 basso, Apr 23, 2013
  2. Mr. Clutch

    Mr. Clutch Member

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    Do they fap?
     
    #2 Mr. Clutch, Apr 23, 2013
  3. Dgn1

    Dgn1 Member

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    Poor guy will lock himself up with blue balls. Misery unless he faps it away no doubt.
     
    #3 Dgn1, Apr 23, 2013
  4. primtim24

    primtim24 Member

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    I don't want this to become all D&D, but if their rationale has anything to do with the bible then they should know that the bible is in support of husband and wife doing the do....

    and also this sounds very silly....all those wasted potatoes...

    [​IMG]
     
    #4 primtim24, Apr 23, 2013
  5. ILoveTheRockets

    ILoveTheRockets Member

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    In 2 years we will hear about this same couple, and the husband will be involved in a mass killing.

    Save people and give him the poon lady!
     
    #5 ILoveTheRockets, Apr 23, 2013
  6. Dgn1

    Dgn1 Member

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    Confucius say eating raw potatoe curb sexual appetite...
     
    #6 Dgn1, Apr 23, 2013
  7. Garner

    Garner Member

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    They feel no pressure to have sex?! This guy is eating raw potatoes...!
     
    #7 Garner, Apr 23, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  8. mateo

    mateo Member

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    People who really need to read the Bible instead of letting crazy people define it for them....
     
    #8 mateo, Apr 23, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  9. Dairy Ashford

    Dairy Ashford Member

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    Even on a rapture blog there's still literally no reason for this to be a news story. And some people who get married or go through other standard life events need to stop publicizing and memorializing them as if they haven't been happening for tens of thousands of years.
     
    #9 Dairy Ashford, Apr 23, 2013
  10. supdudes

    supdudes Member

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    Han solo?
     
    #10 supdudes, Apr 23, 2013
  11. Mr. Clutch

    Mr. Clutch Member

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    OK how does eating a raw potato take one out of the mood?
     
    #11 Mr. Clutch, Apr 23, 2013
  12. napalm06

    napalm06 Huge Flopping Fan

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    How do you come up with this kind of stuff?

    This is one of the funniest things I've ever read, and I'm a religious person:
    “If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.
     
    #12 napalm06, Apr 23, 2013
  13. Jontro

    Jontro Member

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    Can't he eat raw potatoes while doing teh secks?
     
    #13 Jontro, Apr 23, 2013
  14. krnxsnoopy

    krnxsnoopy Member

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    Raw potatoes have the effect of viagra on me. :eek:
     
    #14 krnxsnoopy, Apr 23, 2013
  15. Mr. Brightside

    Mr. Brightside Member

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    Good article. Better advice.
     
    #15 Mr. Brightside, Apr 23, 2013
  16. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Member

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    Seriously what they do is their business.... Except when they parade around with their stupid ideas and try to make it our business.
     
    #16 Invisible Fan, Apr 23, 2013
  17. Nook

    Nook Member

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    She is getting plowed by the athiest felon that lives across the street. So far she has been drilled on the sofa, her husbands side of the bed, on a sack of potatoes on the kitchen floor, in the trash can and on the toilet.
     
    #17 Nook, Apr 23, 2013
  18. professorjay

    professorjay Member

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    He's going to develop a fetish for potatoes.

    Also this just in...Topeka is experiencing a potato shortage at area grocery stores.
     
    #18 professorjay, Apr 23, 2013
  19. magman

    magman Member

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    wait.... this isn't an article for The Onion?
     
    #19 magman, Apr 23, 2013
  20. dookiester

    dookiester Member

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    hopefully you guys realize this is satire?
     
    #20 dookiester, Apr 23, 2013
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