This is the "Proofread My Work" thread... it is for ClutchFans who need their text proofread. Built out of responses for Mr. shayan, Mr. jontro in the Marvin Gaye thread, in this one we will try to assist with proofreading their work, short text, etc., so they can learn and do it themselves in the future. It is imperative we help each other, not do the work for one another. I am not the only that can do this. You as a ClutchFan brother can assist others in their work by submitting your corrections, while teaching the fellow peeps why certain text should be written the way you propose. TIPS: Make your text legible. Put your text to be proofread within SPOILER tags it so it takes less space on the thread. Ask questions so you can learn, too. Submit as little text as possible, and Learn from those corrections to later correct your own mistakes in the subsequent text in the same work you need to finish, if there is more than what you post to be proofread. Be NICE to each other. For proofreaders: you can disagree about certain ways to correct grammar or , but please be nice about it. Lastly, we need to set some ground RULES so this is organized (you too can submit rules to be considered, too): Spoiler Text has to be public and posted in the thread, not offline. We will not retrieve text files or word processor software documents, won't accept images, etc.; that only makes it more difficult to help you. If your text to be proofread is in an image, use the IMG tags to include it in here. This is NOT a thread to have ClutchFans write papers for anyone else. That would be a different "service" which would take up too much time and would cost money. IMPORTANT: By posting your text, you are agreeing to receive assistance only on this thread, and (like in all other threads) the BBS or the website ClutchFans.net has no liability on the results. Use the help as at your own risk. Is that cool with everyone? OFF WE GO!
That's not cool, ima. Swoly is trying to do something good here. Great timing on this thread, I have a project for school, hope you can help. Spoiler BLOW ME, TOO.
Use a period to separate complete thoughts, and conjunctions to have related clauses in the same sentence.
I guess I'll be the first... Spoiler Marriages occur in the world when a person finds someone they genuinely like and want to spend the rest of their life together. The studies of 2010 show that marriages are happening later in life compared to the marriages in 1960s. Image 1, Image 2, and Image 3 through logos show the complexity of problem and the dominant impression that marriages in the United States are taking a downfall due to people wanting to marry later in life, others with similar education, and divorce rates rising. Every 10 years, the United States takes a census in which they find out about the people of the United States. The 3 graphs made from the census have showed us that marriages in the United States continually take a hit because of old age marriages, divorce and level of education one has. Marriage rates have been decreasing since the 1960s and it has never increased ever since. The problems of old age marriages and divorce in marriages will continue to soar if people do not note that the problem is occurring often. These problems have risen because of the women’s liberation movements and the change in the conformity of society. The complexity of problems of marriages began to escalate since the 1960s. During the 1960s, the women’s liberation movement had begun. The movement called for all women to start being independent form men and join workforces like the men to earn wages for themselves and eventually their families. Also, during the 1960s, the movement of nonconformity or counter-culture had begun. Hugh Hefner, the creator of “Playboy” magazines, was the trendsetter who showed that both men and women are interested in sexual activities. Unlike the 1950s, in the 1960s the talk about sexual activities amongst one another increased and was out in the open. The nonconformist movement changed the landscape of the idea of marriage because intercourse was now available without marriage to more people. The change in both gender roles of women and sex being available to everyone started to push the idea of getting married at a young age to disappear among people. During the 1960s, 60% of the people were married by the age of 24 however it declined to 14% by 2010. The big drop off in the number has to do with females attending college trying to earn a degree and pursue a career. Due to pursuing their careers about 77% of the people get married by the age of 35-39. In 1960s, about 93% of the people were married by the age of 35-39. The huge difference in marriage percentile has to do with women’s liberation rights movement which causes some men to take a seat back. The women are challenging men in their workforce and their manhood by being independent and it leads to conflicts in marriages. There is another problem with marriages nowadays which is the problem with divorce. Graph 2 shows that the divorce rates have went from 13% in 1960s, to 44% in 2009. Although divorce rates have been increasing slowly every 5 years by 3% to 4%, it doubled to 12% in 1970s to 1980s. Around the 1980s, many women in United States started earning money for themselves and helping their families out by taking up office jobs. Women started to challenge men in their own households trying to be the ‘head’ of the family which is disliked by many if not all men. The conflicts arose from trying to be superior to one another rather than having a mutual understanding of raising a family. The misunderstanding of one another and the unwillingness to work out their problems led to the increased divorce rates. Divorce rates have also increased because of sex before marriage. Some couples get married because they have a child together but they do not like each other causing rifts in their relationships eventually leading divorce. Another reason why divorce rates could have been increasing is because of people’s willingness to marrying people that do not have similar education as them. Graph 3 shows that about 70% of the married couples married someone with similar education background during the 1960s. As time passed by, more people began to marry others with lower educational level than them causing problems between one another. By marrying someone with similar educational background, it could lead to better understanding between one another and therefore help decrease the divorce rates once again. The 3 pictures stance on marriages affirms that our generation is headed downwards in regards to marriages. The small amount of marriages and increasing number of divorces shows that there are things that are lacking in our generations such as love and care for one another. Most people nowadays are thinking only about themselves and being superior to one another rather than trying to maintain healthy relationships. The new technologies and divorce companies stir up problems in relationships and allow people to divorce one another as quickly as possible. To the companies, more divorces equal more money for themselves therefore they try their level best to cause divorce. The pictures show that our generation needs to start working their problems out with one another. Someone else proofread my previous one and this was the result of the new one. Are we supposed to write out the numbers? And i was struggling with conclusion...but this is just a proofread thread.
yo bruhs. i got sumthing u cna proofreed. u can proofreed deez nutzz! #yolo #swag #BeWell #anxietytrooper
In the Spoiler I replaced the corrected text. As always, proofread yourself. You may not agree with some corrections, but read your entire text completely. In BOLD are things I changed, in brackets are suggestions or questions. I couldn't see your illustrations so I hope I am following your text properly. There are some of the things I noticed in your writing on which I think you might need to work: subject & verb agreement - If you are saying plural things are doing an action, then it's the same as "they", but I know that sometimes it's difficult to tell. numbers and titles of numbers - You sometimes name a period or era as "the 1960s", and sometimes you don't. Also, numbers up to 10 are spelled out, like "in five years" instead of "in 5 years". This also makes your writing more legible. repeating words or phrases in the same sentence - use synonyms or similar words in the same sentence instead of repeating them so the reader doesn't get confused. For example: "the problem with marriage is that there is a problem" could be better written as "the issue with marriage is that there is a problem". Other than that, I cannot change some of your ideas and main thoughts, but I thought I'd suggest things in [brackets] in the text. Lastly, don't forget that in regular typing and when you turn in work to your professor, you should add TWO spaces after every period. You can't see it here because HTML doesn't allow it, but make it a habit. Glad to help. I corrected yours, too, as you requested. Use commas for dependent clauses.
