I completely fell for this girl over the fall. Smart, beautiful, kind (or so I thought), the whole package. I told her how I felt in October, and she told me that while she was flattered, she was still shaken up over a previous relationship. So, I laid off. We talked, but that was about it. Then, in late January I ask her out. Nothing fancy, just a cup of coffee. She says yes, so we went last week, and I felt like we really hit it off. So, on Monday, I sent her a message, thanking her for going with me, and asking if we could do it again. Late that night, she sends me this whole big thing, about how she didn't want to get close to me, because she was afraid she'd hurt me. She says she's afraid she can't live up to what I want. I tell her I'm willing to take that chance, that I find her incredible (I really did). So then she drops the bombshell on me. Turns out, since like November, she had been dating another guy, and never told me. She lead me on for months, and didn't say anything. Even when I explicitly told her that if she wanted me to leave her alone, I would. Really, all I wanted was for her to be happy. She claims she hid it from me so I wouldn't get upset, but I think that's BS. I think she just liked the idea of having two guys at once, and used me. The worst part? She kept telling me that she likes to be "intellectually stimulated". Yet, she choose a guy who I know is really dumb over me. It's one thing to be shallow, but don't be shallow, but it's terrible to try and pass yourself off as deep when you aren't. So, that's my story. It hurts more than any rejection I've ever had, simply because she took advantage of me for 5 months and the fact that I fell for this girl harder than anybody before. If you have any advice, I'll take it. If you wanna post gifs and memes or whatever, that's fine too. I just wanted to vent. Cheers.
Nice guys finish last. Shake it off bro, plenty of fish in the sea. It sounds like you are young enough to where this shouldnt affect you in the long run. Nothing serious, just talking and one date. You got your hopes up, which is where you are mainly getting hurt. Yeah she's a b**** for leading you on (somewhat to be honest, more so in your head than how it really seems). Maybe she just didn't want to sound like a b****. I've had that happen to me before, and when you take it personal it sounds way worse than if she had told you to begin with. Sounds like you let your imagination run away from your reality. It's cool to day dream and think of ideals, but a lesson i've learned is that it very rarely if ever happens as you imagine. Keep your head up Broku!
Are you saying if you didn't give her space back in the fall you may have been able to stalk-discover this other dude?
I looked, but I could not find an appropriate gif. Was hoping to find one of Jerry Stiller from The Heartbreak Kid saying "b****es be crazy" but no such luck. Sorry bro. Sounds like she just used you, as women are wont to do. The good news is that with this behind you, you can move on to better womenfolk. You'll be good.
At least she came clean before you guys really got serious. Imagine how it would have felt if she dropped this bomb on you after you started dating. And now you know something about her character that is a red flag.
We, as humans, are sometimes afraid to admit that we are infatuated with attention from the opposite sex. I suppose it is hypocritical for me to say that she's a biznatch for not mentioning her boyfriend. If there's another girl wanting to hang out and what not, I probably wouldn't share that I have a girlfriend. But I think where she crossed the line was not telling you after you had attempted to make a move. Then again, Facebook should show who and who isn't in a relationship (for the most part). Unless she doesn't have a Facebook...
It's weird, too. There are people who I would expect this sort of thing from, and she definitely wasn't one. My friends didn't believe me at first when I told them. She acts so sweet and friendly around everybody all of the time.
Swoly could give you his copy of Boner Jams '03 since he's moving. It's a mixtape of all of his favorite boner scenes in the summer of 2003
She does have a facebook, but her status says single. I feel little bad for her boyfriend, since she apparently won't acknowledge their relationship in public.
How did she lead you on? It sounds like at the beginning she didn't want to get involved (for whatever reason she came up with).
I admit that some of it was my fault, that I did let my imagination get the best of me sometimes. But she did talk with me a lot, she let me flatter her, she let me take her out. The fact that she pretended to like me and didn't tell me that she had a boyfriend is the most troubling part.
Everyone has their secrets and their flaws. They usually don't come to light until things get serious. Been there a few times as well. We all have them. When it comes to relationships, always be upfront about what you want.
Doesn't every girl do this? I've been on both side so many times. The guy she told him about or the opposite.
