I didn't phrase that very well. My assumption was that they are still happily married and in love. If they're not then yes, his weakness is not being able to get out of a crap relationship. Manny, don't think I realised you got divorced! Glad you got out considering what you've said. It took me ages to realise you were married in the first place. Lol.
I break up with people over Chat Roulette. Oh, and nice work OP, provided your story checks out with the fact checkers. You snatched what power she thought she had away from her and left her reeling. One of my good friends in college had a similar experience, although it was in person. His girl tried to pull something similar, basically trying to make a power play and have him beg her to stay with him. I was watching from about five feet away when she delivered whatever BS line she felt would accomplish this. He didn't react all all, did a half-"he look ok" face, shrugged his shoulders, turned around and just walked away without a word. The look on her face is permanently etched in my mind as the very definition of jaw-dropping disbelief. She fought to get him back for about a month before giving up, mostly due to the restraining order.
It's a common female tactic called "bait and switch" except she tried a "switch" move one week before the wedding, giving my friend a chance to get out of the mess before they got married. He blew it.
usually in a breakup or in a many situations between boyfriends and girlfriends.....one party ends up comfortable with the outcome and the other party ends up VERY restless and eager to get back together. in this situation...with the original text, it was obvious that the GF would have been in power and comfortable with the outcome of breaking up because she was the one who initiated it. however his smoooooth "Ok" response made him the one to seem comfortable with the outcome, and made her immediately restless...and wanting to get back together ultimately. thats power play, and he killed it with the Ok
I must admit I clicked on this thread expecting to see yet another whiny, pathetic relationship thread, but man! "ok" That's effin' beautiful. Just how it should have been handled. Please don't ruin it by gently weeping and begging her to come back....
So power plays are not necessarily fake, i.e. it's possible that the person initiating the breakup would be fine with the other person agreeing with the breakup? It just seems silly for a person to initiate a breakup only to immediately change their mind with his/her motives now in clear view.
the girlfriend was looking for validation. she wants to break up but she also wants to hear that he needs her and love her. the one that is least interested in the relationship is the one with the power. when the OP responded with "Ok" she realized he was indifferent. it rocked her world upside down because she now perceived he was the one in control and had the power.
absolutely!! especially when i'm in the wrong and i know it...i use a power play as a defense mechanism and some try to turn the tables so the fault is on her and i have the power again. or just in general...even when nothing is wrong, its always good to show a little indifference or some distance to keep you in power, make it certain to her that your life does not revolve around her and you do have options. and ofcourse....i believe all this when it comes to random chicks or a gf...def not your wife. when it comes to your wife, there should be no games.
Oh ok. So if the initiator was okay with the other person agreeing to the breakup, then it couldn't be a power play. It would just be... a break up.
a few years ago, i was about to break-up w/my then girlfriend (reached my 6month limit, we did not live in the same country + i'd fallen for a local girl) when i got into a pretty horrible motorcycle accident...literally the night before i planned on calling off our relationship. I woke up in Surgical ICU @ Brackenridge Hospital almost a week later & discover my girlfriend at my bedside - someone had contacted her & she flew in from Europe (thought i was dying). I was stuck w/her for a few months...i needed her to get around until i could start walking again (not to mention getting baths & helping me wipe after using the potty). Talk about an uncomfortable break-up conversation! I remember sending her on useless errands to get her out of the house so that the local girl i'd fallen for could pass by the house & get with me....very messy indeed.
