I'll go first. "I don't want to pick a fight with you..." Translation: "I want to fight with you but I don't want you to fight back." Others?
I say we skip all the obvious ones like "yea u can go out" which means no and such. What are some ones that only you guys picked on. Whenever there is a "we need" its always her needs.
" FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1). Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Thanks: A woman is thanking you – do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" – for the woman's response refer to #3. I'll drive: this either means she is questioning your manhood, or she is (rightly) scared to death of your Richard Petty impersonation Are watching (insert sport here) again? It's chore jar time Sure, you can buy that. Refer to #6 Come here: you are a puppy You never listen: you never listen. Prepare for #5 Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!" " source
As a frat friend of mine used to say "no means yes, and yes means [Anne Hathaway]"... Obviously, he didn't say Anne Hathaway...
Me:Can i borrow your number, i misplaced mine. Girl:Oh, sorry I'm married/have a boyfriend. Rough Translation:Your body and chiseled physique is like that of a greek god, your face, so divine that i must not gaze at it with my peasant eyes. I am not worthy of you or the pleasure you are sure to give me. Please forgive me for even responding.
Joke: A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: “You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street. The 1st first floor has wives that love sex. The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited at the Wife Store.
I see this all the time from match.com dating profiles "I want a guy that has goals and is ambitious " = "I want a guy that has $$$" This is usually confirmed on match.com when I see they have 150+k plus income checked for what they're looking for in a partner.......
*she puts a glass away in the cabinet* Inside her head - I cannot believe he didn't offer to do this for me. When's the last time he did the dishes anyways? I guess he thinks that's a woman's job only. And speaking of jobs, what was with Becky today at work? Uh, I can't believe she could say that to Kelly when she knows Kelly just broke up with her boyfriend. But those shoes Becky had on sure were cute...I wonder how she can afford those. I bet she's sleeping with the boss, i've seen they way he looks at her and she's not even that pretty. Why doesn't he flirt with me? I'm much me pretty than her, plus I don't have a drinking problem. Oh god, do I have a drinking problem? I have had a few glasses of wine every night for the last week. Does that make me an alcoholic? I've read that a little wine daily can be good for your heart. Plus I work out so that should be ok. But I don't want to work out today, I think that tofu on my salad made me bloated. I feel gross. I might have to skip yoga tonight. I should probably get new yoga pants anyways. i just don't the color of the ones i have. At first I thought they were cute but after seeing them on that other girl they look a little silly. Or maybe that was because she had a big ass. I wonder if my ass is too big....maybe I shouldn't skip working out afterall. ugh, i want some wine.
She wants you to listen. Women have an emotional cool down rate l longer than men. much harder to communicate during that period. Wait about an hour later before replying.
