[Major Depression]

I can understand her fear, but the prior dude was abusing painkillers.

There isn't just a difference between abusing drugs you don't need and taking drugs you do need:

Those two things are the opposites of each other.

Here's another neat trick:

Remind her you're not him, promise never to take medicine behind her back, then remind her she's your wife and that you'd never want to do anything behind her back.

 

I appreciate the 4 of you who contacted me directly today, and the 3 of you who offered to hang out and/or provided your personal phone numbers.

I am grateful for the support, I am.

Will have to see about getting together with a few of you, its tough times right now job hunting with a baby who hasn't been sleeping for ****. I left the house yesterday for a couple hours to play some b-ball with the cfans group and I'm paying for it today physically which hasn't helped matters.

 

Ah, that medicine self-expression...

That was an awesome song.

 

Dude if I had free time, I would love to go drink a beer with you. Unfortunately, I hardly have any freedom right now since I have to care for my grandma 70% of the time, with the other 30% being spent at work.

 

Respect to the orginal post and wanting advice for that person's issues. The ongoing theme of the thread is the part when the OP said:

"Do you believe in major depression? I know that there are many arguments regarding it"

Well...

So I've lost my job as a direct result of depression....

I would LOVE for someone to tell me that its just "MAKE BELIEVE" or "frivilous moping".... we can talk and debate it. ("I'm right here, bro")

I DON'T want to be sitting here talking to you assholes while jobless As though thats a destiny I just willingly CHOOSE. I had EVERYTHING to lose, and knowing that things STILL didnt matter...

The whole shrugging off blues Bobby McFerrin "Dont Worry Be Happy" mode IS what contributes to it. Putting it in a quantifiable numeric terms using a 10 scale - when you shrug things off you kinda stay at a constant 4-5 level. When you're really a 7 level. And you'll probably NEED that 6-7 level and above treatment from NOW ON.

But not many people can constantly offer that for various reasons, mostly cuz its seen as "high maintenence" absorbing resources or they just arent comfortable in dealing with that kind of depth. Or they think they'll get "sucked in" so its preservationist for themselves

 

I think the difficulty in this topic comes when life's bull**** and your personal bull**** gets wrapped up so tight that you don't know which is which/which came first/which caused the other/etc...

I'll start with lifestyle tips that helped me before the trickier topic.

I'm pretty scatterbrained, and can't remember to do everything in my "mental" to-do list. A co-worker recommended Getting Things Done by David Allen that helped an old man like him accomplish things that a youngin like me "should" remember to do. He said, if you don't read the book, the 2 things to take from it are:

1. If it takes less than three minutes to accomplish. Do it now. If you got a killer idea, don't only write it down. Find a stopping point to drop everything and pour in your best for 3 minutes.
2. Do at least one thing you hate/don't wanna do a day.

The second recommendation is for people like me who can get anxiety or bouts of extreme low self esteem: Feeling Good by David Burns is a classic for counselors (at least the ones I known). It's more of a workbook and approach...

The last recommendation comes from me reading this NYTimes story about Target stores profiling their customers. They have an interesting segment about how habits really are predictable and controllable.

Spoiler

The process within our brains that creates habits is a three-step loop. First, there is a cue, a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional. Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future. Over time, this loop — cue, routine, reward; cue, routine, reward — becomes more and more automatic. The cue and reward become neurologically intertwined until a sense of craving emerges. What’s unique about cues and rewards, however, is how subtle they can be. Neurological studies like the ones in Graybiel’s lab have revealed that some cues span just milliseconds. And rewards can range from the obvious (like the sugar rush that a morning doughnut habit provides) to the infinitesimal (like the barely noticeable — but measurable — sense of relief the brain experiences after successfully navigating the driveway). Most cues and rewards, in fact, happen so quickly and are so slight that we are hardly aware of them at all. But our neural systems notice and use them to build automatic behaviors.

Habits aren’t destiny — they can be ignored, changed or replaced. But it’s also true that once the loop is established and a habit emerges, your brain stops fully participating in decision-making. So unless you deliberately fight a habit — unless you find new cues and rewards — the old pattern will unfold automatically.

“We’ve done experiments where we trained rats to run down a maze until it was a habit, and then we extinguished the habit by changing the placement of the reward,” Graybiel told me. “Then one day, we’ll put the reward in the old place and put in the rat and, by golly, the old habit will re-emerge right away. Habits never really disappear.”

So what I'm getting at is that there IS a grey area between "self help" and "disease help". Identifying some of these (hopefully w/ a professional) will give you knowledge and tools to sculpt down the giant boulder you're carrying.

Here's my quack-amateur-net pontificating-suggestions for those who are interested in the neuro components of depression:

1. Sleep is ******* important. Everyone knows the amt of sleep is important to help. Not only that your brain/body responds to certain wavelengths of light in terms of circadian rhythms. Those circadian rhythms can regulate some hormone distribution. Consider your body like an imperfect machine. The less inconsistency in the habits you take, the more predictability your body gets and will react...over time*

1b. Because daylight regulates sleep, spend at least 30 minutes outside. Not only does it recalibrate your brain's clock (which can be reset w/ certain artificial light...) sunlight also reduces stress and is a source of vitamin d.

2. Exercise.... I've learned that anxiety is usually triggered when your brain raises the panic button and your body goes into Red Alert as if you have to do 100-meter dash in a moment's notice. If you want to simplify it, you need to burn off that stress by displacing it with exercise.

Spoiler

Some people need to burn off that stress regardless of activity, like video games, exercise, watching good rockets games, with others, etc. It's why playing ball is awesome. Social time+exercise.

Physical stress (to burn off mental stress) also increases dopamine production in order to offset the initial pain from increased physical activity. "Runner's high" has been hypothesized to come from your body adjusting to the activity while your natural pain killers are still ramping up.

Finally, I don't do it often, but it's a great outlet to vent your frustrations. If you don't burn off your stress/anger, it builds up, mentally and physiologically. Some people beat up others to feel better. Some people bury stress/frustration internally and grow depressed. Finding that outlet for release gives yourself control. Control realized/unrealized is important for mental health.

3. Meditation can reduce symptoms of depression. Nothing is a silver bullet. You want to arm yourself/combo with as much as you can with the time you have. There is scientific basis for this.

4. Even though people can suck, knowing more and vesting in them can help for some depression related diseases. Some receive more feelings of satisfaction over time by helping someone than an impulse buy. It makes sense since we're social creatures. And that's coming from an anti-social *******.

5. Know yourself (better). Catalog your symptoms and habits. Moody? Lazy? Bi-Polar? Anxious?
Write them in a journal by being more introspective. Some people are good at pigeon-holing themselves and defining themselves with their perceptions. Your journal over time* will lesson that, and professional help can help calibrate it further.

Why you need it is because professional help is not all the same.

Spoiler

Not only is mental health a complex science, other human factors like experience, luck, money, etc comes into play. When I first talked up about anxiety, my GP gave me three weeks worth of Lexapro samples. Things worked well until I felt the stress from my new job and my supply dried up while I was out of town and away from my GP. I started getting mood swings by shouting at my co-workers and being the angry drunk. Only weeks later did I realize that I wasn't acting myself.

I thought it was the Lexapro but I really had a stress meltdown. Later when I sought counseling, the counselor recommended Welbutrin for anxiety and low energy. Except when I went to a psychiatrist and brought it up, he shot down Welbutrin because it could cause those anger swings I didn't know I was capable of.

To further the main point, I once went to a college clinic wayyy back, and yet another counselor wasn't adequately equipped to figure out what I had, while at the same time I knew what his biases were.

So specialties are tricky. It's tricky because your problems can be hard to diagnose. Some could take this and throw the baby out of the bathwater, but the lesson here is to know yourself more, then do some research of popular medication while not holding yourself to that research by self-diagnosing. You do the research so you have a little idea of what's going on and for some smell test. It's not a silver bullet. You can and will be wrong in your assumptions. Don't stress if you are.

Work with what you have. If all you can get is decent help, bridge that gap with your own research. Empower yourself by vesting yourself in the outcome. That's the ultimate buy-in

6. Different drugs might treat the same medical illness, but will have different side effects that doesn't mesh for you. You have to spend the effort to know how these drugs work. Anti-depressants like SSRIs will rewire your brain (and have other side effects), which is why some people who get better from taking them can be weaned off. That's some powerful **** that shouldn't be trifled with a simple thumbs up/thumbs down.

7. THC rewires your brain. I'm not going to say for better or for worse, but don't believe in the "no side effects" hype. At the very least, it can screw up your sleeping during or after you quit. If it's a form of self-medication, it's toking up for all the wrong reasons.

I've understood it too, so I don't treat it as a "net-zero" effect, and if you've read 1, 4 & 5, it might not be the greater goal of what you're looking for.

I don't do it anymore because it made me lazy and not want to do anything but watch TV to get inspirations about The Truth. While I did get something out of smoking, after a certain point it was more like me hiding from it.

Finally, all these suggestions and numbers serve is to widen the curtains a little. One excuse from people that smoke nicotine, a stimulant, is that it "calms them down". Performing the same breathing exercise outdoors without cancer sticks produces the same/better effect. Your situation will vary, but the approach to begin can be similar. I try to rely on what I've learned in the past, but even that could possibly change. Lately, there's growing voices that seratonin isn't the be-all neurochemical that weighs the severity of depression. What that means is that I have to stay optimistic in the areas that I can control rather than being self defeating and fear that all my efforts could be "a waste of time". That fear and anxiety is a prison in itself, and being Right by taking that path won't necessarily get you better any quicker than being a wrong fool.

Keep trying, and do your best. Never forget that you're not alone or that it's not necessarily something that can be accomplished on your own. I don't know many "self-made-men" who didn't rely on the help of others. Quite the contrary. They were only considered self-made because they took risks that others deemed too foolish, scary or unworthy while knowing/getting all the support they could in order to focus on areas that could get themselves on track.


*at least 3 months...or a year...if you have an illness, then you'll need a commitment stronger than what other people would commit to

 

Manny;

Sorry to hear about your situation also. If you are feeling overweight and tired all the time have you tried to exercise more? That could certainly help with those issues and as noted here helps with depression. I know for me on the weekends sometimes I feel like just going back to sleep but force myself to get up and do things. Usually after just doing a a few sit ups I feel more alert and awake.

 

To all my fellow CFers who are going through tough times
I dedicate this to you. Everything's going to be all right

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There are two trains of thought regarding weed:

1) Using something to change with how you would 'normally' feel is never a good thing. Masking your emotions = bad. Sweet old Mary Jane can certainly exacerbate depression and its signs and symptoms, and it has been known to bring out underlying psychosis as well....which is NOT to say that it CAUSES psychosis. Far from it....but it can influence an earlier break in a person where the condition hasn't yet reared its head.

2) If it helps you feel better, then that's not such a bad thing. Y'all remember when some media-types were harping on Patrick Swayze for smoking cigarettes when he was dying of pancreatic cancer? This is similar....in his case, the added stress of nicotine fits would make his cancer and quality of life worse than the actual cigarette smoking itself.

So, Batman and CaseyH are both right. Sort of.

At any rate, as has been said: There are plenty of alternatives for seeking help with regard to mental health. Sometimes actually taking that extra step to make the appointment is the biggest hurdle for a person. Moes....you have a family. Do it for them, but do it for yourself, first. You can't take care of others if you're not taking care of you. If you want to talk, you know how to get a hold of me. All the best, man.

 

can you imagine if you were swoly? it makes me feel better about myself that i am not him. on the other hand, wouldn't it be great to completely lack self awareness?

 

Said by the great JS Mill:

"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, are of a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question."

Reading his autobiography was one of the greatest and saddest moments of my life.

My wife thinks I need to seek a therapist. I am not depressed but I can't control myself lately with respect to stress and anger, often internally manifested. Hoe does one seek a therapist, though, when one was raised to believe that they are all a bunch of quacks or that going is a sign of personal weakness? Haha, so much fun.

 

Sometimes it is not that you are seeing a therapist, but that you have someone outside to talk with.

 

don't worry what anyone else thinks, you don't have to tell a soul. you have to look at seeing a therapist as personal time you are spending on yourself. you don't have to feel selfish about it and can talk about whatever the hell you want. the worst thing that could happen is that you don't think it helps.

 

I've been taking some velvet bean extract, natural L-dopa mood enhancer.

Certainly has been making me feel better but it is supposed to start wearing off within 30 days as your body becomes more and more immune.

I am dealing with a tough situation right now with extreme stress and lack of sleep, as soon as money is coming in again I am going to look into going back to therapy.

 

Have you tried exercising or yoga or acupuncture sessions?

 

Yep, b12 is pretty good. Start taking b-complex vitamin supplements, they really give you the energy boost you might need. It's pretty noticeable aand theyre good for more RBC production

 

moes, would you like to play on my backwards-compatible PS3? I can do without it and its Blu-ray capabilities right now.

I don't know who you're talking to about asking him if he were me, but if he WERE me, he wouldn't be asking anyone for help about the topic.

EDIT: LOL @ the tags... keep'em coming... :grin:

 

I'm surprised you haven't been banned for being a ****ing moron yet.