This is very true. People don't know how to work together in a marriage anymore. Thats the reason that people who go through pre-marriage classes and financial classes with their fiance end up with a much LOWER divorce rate. Also, the divorce rate takes in peoples 2nd + marriages. The divorce rate for first marriages only is much lower than the divorce rate overall. Last, you can also break it down by class, people earning over 70K a year and college graduates that marry in their 30's are much less likely to get divorced than those who don't go to college, have a lower income, or get married in their 20's. Fighting over money/financial issues is the highest cause of divorce. Next is infidelity. Pre-marriage counseling/classes usually address both of those issues heavily.
that's a rather childish perspective. life isn't a series of double rainbows and winning lottery tickets. it gets hard...you have to put in the work
I think we are getting into semantics. would you prefer a "labor of love"? if you have been married for 30+ years you can't tell me it never took an additional effort on your part during the hard times?
My comment was "if marriage is percevied as work...". Of course during a marriage there will be issues (which may or may not be hard times) to 'work through', but if a marriage is 'perceived' (i.e. thought of) as work, then that is a marriage that should never have been undertaken.
You guys are arguing semantics here. It's not a J-O-B but you definitely have to work at your marriage. You have to work through issues. You have to grow together. You have to maintain the interests you have in common and to gain new interests together. You have to compromise. You have to forgive. I've been married 15 years and we're constantly working to keep things going in our relationship. If you haven't had to do that, you're blessed. But if your attitude is that a good marriage shouldn't need to be worked at then that explains the divorce rates in America. Less than half the people can find their 'soul mates' in that way so they say eff it, I'll divorce this person and go find my true soul mate with whom I don't need to 'work'.
No. My comment is that marriage shouldn't be PERCEIVED as work. There is nothing wrong with working through issues, but, in my opinion, if someone's prevalent thought about their marriage is that it is work, then there are some issues there.
Only poor people make stupid decisions, Poor people divorce more than rich people, People lose their money and want to divorce, Losing money makes me dumb to want to get a divorce, or WTF do you mean, exactly, with that? Elaborate, mister womanizer. :grin:
Someone had told me that Social Networking is taking over from Finances as the number 1 reason for divorce. Rocket River
It is sad and I think a lot of it has to do with marriage not being taken as seriously as it used to. Where before you would do everything you can to make it work no matter what, these days society sees divorce as the easy way out. I am not proud of it but have contributed to this being divorced twice. I have learned some hard lessons and realized that just because you love someone, or have been in a long term relationship with them, does not mean you should marry that person.
I''ve gone against the "senior member bobrek" sentiment. But seems thats very "In OUR day, we [did everything morally sound unlike "today"}-ish"
Don't feel bad for them. They're out their living it. Think of the people who sit in front of their computers all day with more than 3,000 posts on a basketball message board about non-basketball related topics. About politics, impressing "girls" and masturbating on google images to pictures of people that don't know they exist. Gossiping about television shows and movies meant for 12 year olds or 40 year old women. The list goes on, people living in decadence and immersed in their own guilty pleasures. I weep for them all. The things a sheltered, sexually repressive society can do to pale white people. Isn't that a telling picture of our times? Just puts me in tears.
I think a lot of its just a matter of people living longer lives now. Over a century ago when life expectancy was around 45-50 years, you could get married and just live it out til the end cuz thats just a shorter time of "eternity". Then try to leave behind as many kids to survive through communicable diseases and such. Now married people may look ahead and say "I'm gonna be in this setup with this person until I'm 90" and the timeline of 70 year marriage might be too long and vast to them. We might have more 2nd and 3rd marriages, cuz people are living longer to get to have a 2nd and 3rd marriage.
Not sure why this would be any different today than it has ever been. At the end of the day, marriage should be a joyful and fulfilling experience. Couples should not have to constantly work to make their marriage successful. Granted, there are times when problems arise that may affect a marriage that couples have to work through, but a marriage should not need to be defined or perceived as "work". It is important to marry the person and not the person you want that person to become.
