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[Major Depression]

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by roxxfan, Mar 29, 2012.

  1. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    But since you didn't get it...here

    You don't think all those gay guys wearing togas, taking baths together and making plays about incest with their mom preyed on depressed boys and depressed the women folk?
     
  2. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

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    Okay, I’m probably going to regret this, but here comes a rare serious post…..

    I never thought depression wasn’t real, but I did think it was just sort of a temporary phase that everyone would eventually just get over. Just a part of life, ya know? Crap happens – you just deal with it as best you can and eventually it will get better. Time heals all, right?

    Then came January 2009. Long story short, the wife and I had a stillborn. What followed was the darkest period of my life in which I experienced things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Many thoughts that - to this day - I have yet to share with anyone including my wife.

    It’s funny, when something like this happens, the first thing everyone says is “be strong for your wife.” I know that comes from a good place, and of course that’s all I ever wanted to do throughout the whole ordeal, but it really took it’s toll on me because I avoided dealing with my own emotions by constantly taking care of her. Not sure if that makes sense or not.

    My wife was obviously at the depths of despair but she would always say to me “how are YOU doing?” Looking back, she was pretty much the only person who ever really asked me that. She kind of suspected that I was hiding from my emotions by always taking care of her – and she was right. It was easy to do, since that was the first thing anyone ever asked me. “How is Ms. Ima?” Then I could just talk about her the whole time and could easily avoid dealing with my own feelings.

    She was prescribed Lexapro (sp?) by her gyno and it really may have saved her life, but I didn’t get any kind of help at all and just dealt with it. If not for her, I honestly don’t know if I would be sitting here right now. Looking back, I really should have got some kind of help for myself. It was offered, but I turned it down. I’m a man, after all. I have to be strong for my wife.

    Anyway, all is good now. We had happy healthy twin boys last August and I’ve literally never been as happy and content with my life as I am today. That goes for all 4 of us.

    It’s ironic….while we were dealing with all the grief after the stillborn, we would both just shake our heads whenever we would hear about so-called post-partum depression. “What? You’re depressed because you had a happy healthy child? Pardon me for not having any sympathy whatsoever.”

    Well, after we had our boys, what do you think happens? She gets post-partum depression.

    Not really sure what I’m trying to say here so I’ll just end it by saying…..yeah, depression is real. I’ll never doubt it again. Get help. Don’t just brush it off as a phase.
     
    3 people like this.
  3. Batman Jones

    Batman Jones Member

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    A quick reply to ima_drummer then I'm putting the computer away for a while as my lady just woke from her nap.

    First, man, I am so sorry. So, so, so sorry that that happened to you and to your wife.

    I wanted to reply to the being a man and sucking it up thing.

    I'm reading about Lincoln and his experience with depression (his was major) and one of the striking things is that with regard to depression, etc. gender roles were completely reversed then.

    Women were the ones that were expected to suck it up in his time. And melancholy was regarded to be a sign of sensitivity which was then regarded to be a sign of strength. Decades before Lincoln was elected president, when he was still a state politician, papers ran stories talking about how he was "crazy." And he was. At that time, being so, being sad, talking about it, seeking treatment were all marks of masculinity.

    Boy how things have changed.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. robbie380

    robbie380 ლ(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ლ)
    Supporting Member

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    Yup any kid who is abused or raped is a weak b**** if they suffer from depression later in life. Stupid sissies. Those kids who got ****ed by Sandusky should have manned up and not taken the dick and they certainly should have known how to deal with getting ****ed in the ass after it happened. They are weak if they have depression from it. I totally agree BrieflySpeaking.
     
  5. Bandwagoner

    Bandwagoner Member

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    There has been much recent work done on intermittent explosive disorder that you should look into. Your psychotherapist/psychiatrist might not be familiar with it.
     
  6. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    sounds like a sh!tting disorder with crapping on threads. You might want to check your underwear.
     
    2 people like this.
  7. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Member

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    I missed it was Batman's B-Day. Happy late B-Day Batman!
     
  8. CCorn

    CCorn Member

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    Depression is terrible. My girlfriend had it pretty bad last year.

    Counseling is a must. I am strongly against medications unless there is no other alternative but they helped my girlfriend out and after a month she was able to get off them and continue counseling.

    I hope your cuz gets better man!
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. finalsbound

    finalsbound Member

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    sigh, reps to everyone who shared their story. thank you.

    my sister was just recently placed on antidepressants after one of the darkest periods of her life.

    she was in a really, really bad place following a failed relationship. dropped to a bony 95 pounds, couldn't function at work without bursting into tears, couldn't sleep...just looked like a zombie. we were so worried about her.

    i'm so glad she got help. it was literally like two days later, the combo they had her on was working wonders. day in day out, she told me she felt like she woke up with a purpose to her life and a feeling of stillness for the first time in years. in the span of 2-3 months she put on 15 pounds, and we just ran a half marathon together. I see a spark in her now I haven't seen since we were teens. it's wonderful.

    people may abuse antidepressants, but when you see it really working in the lives of people you love, it's hard to criticize too much. in my sister's case, even if it was a friggin placebo, i'm grateful she was was placed on them.
     
    2 people like this.
  10. Blake

    Blake Member

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    Another thread where swoly acts like an ignorant jackass. How shocking!
     
    1 person likes this.
  11. crossover

    crossover Member

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    BJ, take a look at my response to heyp. My post wasn't referring to true clinical depression as to a subsection of the population that has a label (whether self labeled or poorly clinically labeled) of having depression. Anyways, I think since a number of people read my post as referring to all categorical types of depression, I blame my own original composition.
     
  12. Agent94

    Agent94 Member

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    You are really not going to win anyone to your point of view by getting angry and using profanity. You're story and expertise alone are enough to enlighten people.
     
  13. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear that.

    Please tell her I wish her well and am glad she feels better.
     
  14. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    I think that part is more part of the Batman Jones catharsis.
     
  15. Batman Jones

    Batman Jones Member

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    Pretty much. I mean it's not especially cathartic but you are right that that part's for me. And I'm not trying to win anyone over. I don't even know what that means in this context. I'm just sharing my experiences and encouraging people to be compassionate and informed. If they decide not to do those things because I told an ******* to **** off, well, okay.
     
  16. Batman Jones

    Batman Jones Member

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    Agent 94, meaning well I know, suggested I would get through to more people when sharing my experience if I didn't become angry in the process. I agree. That would be awesome. Unfortunately that's not very plausible, as anger itself accounts for fully half of that experience.

    I'm bipolar, which of course means I have two poles, one depressive and one manic. A lot of people have positive relationships with their mania and miss it when it's gone, but my mania is not a happy and excited one, it is an excited and angry one. So anger and rage actually are my experience, they are the way the illness presents. Anger is not my way of talking about the thing, it is the thing. About half anyway. The other half is mostly depression. With a few mixed states or even some small times of happiness sprinkled in.

    So while I know mean the Agent no harm and also do wish him well, thinking my story enlightening but saying I do the story a disservice by being angry is kind of like saying, "I'm enlightened by your experiences with depression, but you'd win more people over if you weren't such a bummer about it."

    That said I do appreciate the sentiment and I've really appreciated Agent94's posts in this thread.
     
  17. Batman Jones

    Batman Jones Member

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    It's cool. I appreciate you weighing in on the thread.
     
  18. Shroopy2

    Shroopy2 Member

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    I VERY much believe that. I've made an analogy a few times of the "thread is awesome" dinosaur in fighter plane to people. In how for all our human attempts at being civilized, functionally we're not MUCH different. We go around guided by our reptilian senses. Like too smart for ourselves lizards that can operate equipment

    I know someone who just cant work a 9 to 5 or in many corporate settings. Its not that he's lazy, he just can't sit still and work in confines all orderly following some parameter. Most would call him "undisciplined". And maybe at times, yes... though I say he's probably more just needing be out in the fields on the HUNT
     
    #138 Shroopy2, Mar 31, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2012
  19. Shroopy2

    Shroopy2 Member

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    This has been happening to me more and more.

    I've read through the entire thread. Its amazing how much people are so dismissive of things.

    Its about myself, but using an example of - I know a guy who's parent just passed away. He's also dealing with other issues on top of that.

    I'd bet if given a well-being test between him and me, that me going through MUCH LESS than him that I'd be 2 times MORE UNHAPPY and DETACHED than he is. Its wickedly disrespectful to be like that, but its just truth.

    Others will look at like you're being so "emo", or you're just "brooding" and being "stubborn". Or you just don't "know when to quit". When its not EVEN the case.

    What can happen as a double edged sword quality is you start to really see people for what THEY are. People generally act better changing their tune to help when its VISIBLE tramautic events such as a family death.

    When you have an "episode" internally you might need some support. But they dont see it or sense it or UNDERSTAND it. You see true colors when things get deep.. So they continue their ******* ways and probably even COMPOUND it. Its a rough rough place to be in....
     
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  20. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Member

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    I've dealt with anxiety and low self esteem over the years, and like Shroopy have guilt tripped myself over not dealing with it because it wasn't "serious enough" to call attention to it. I got fed up over it a year ago and decided to seek consistent help because it did matter to me and it was important for me to fix. I've even told my family about it which they took as a surprise because to them I'm mostly a laid back dude who didn't care about much. They were hesitant about me taking Zoloft, but hey, what can they do?

    My dad was two generations removed from me and you can consider him as old school as some pricks here talk about "being tougher back then". When he came to grips with his death (and all the drugs it entailed), the man exposed to us a wide range of emotions that we never thought he had. It was pretty sad revelation that not showing his emotions was how he was raised, and the inability to cope with it was a sticking point throughout his life. And it was a common theme in the greatest generation. Sometimes getting beat down when you're a kid manifests in different way. It was what it was back then.

    Is it really that healthy or normal to toughen up by not revealing or dealing with anything? That's not for me to decide. Not for me to decide what's causing the trollish behavior found in some people here. Socio path? Aggro certain digital enemies? A sad cry for help? Or just plain boredom while wasting away in front of elections? I don't know, and ultimately don't care why people troll. They can live in obliviousness or get their help in a different alias or forums for all I know.

    I had a friend who committed suicide without me knowing for a while. She just seemed like a shy girl who was smart and cheerful enough in any occasion. It still perplexes my mind on why she'd do a thing, and for someone who likes to tease or even fill in answers, it's tough. In any event someone asks for help, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Better for me to be fooled than something serious. It's kind of a sad way for me to think about her like this since she never even asked for help. You think you know people but it's never about what they show or act up front.

    So what pray tell is being tough or toughening up?
     
    #140 Invisible Fan, Mar 31, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2012
    1 person likes this.

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