In Vegas back in the day... Me and some drunken friends decided to tear up a crowded elevator. We let them fly and made sure to hold our breath for the onslaught. Those poor kids :grin:
No lies. Acouoke of years back, when was deep into college partying I had taken a few xanax and was half way plastered. It was a normal blackout and realized I was safely him, but nude in bed ( girli brought him left oilseed I passed) and I had a female neighbor texturing ke she wanted to come by to sleep over (a thing that happened between me and her a few times already) so I'm trying to get up to prepare, I thought I'd foart and unexpectedly it was a wet one and there was shat all over my bed. Then out of nowhere there was a knock on the door, I spent the night convincing her the couch was more comftarable than my **** stained bed.
When I was working at Pappas in Houston, I was driving into work and had to fart, I let it fly, and it was the old "Shart" rearing it's ugly head. I turned around to go home and change, which made me late......there was a strict policy on being late, if you were, you lost your shift, and were suspended for a couple of days.....well I was late....and the GM asked me why. So, I told him the truth, and he paused for a minute started laughing so hard that tears were coming down his face, he put his hand on my shoulder and said "That has to be true, no one would make that up, no get to work" I made good money that night. DD
in college taking an exam - totally quiet in the room and i had been holding one in that just slipped out and made noise. about 1/2 the room stopped and looked around...the people around me knew i was the culprit and were looking at me. fortunately, i didnt know anyone in that class, but it was most embarrassing. if you go to UT dont eat sausage patties from the red mccombs school of business cafeteria before taking an exam.
The worst is when you let one go in your car before you get out. That sucker is always waiting for you when you return.
the best ones i had was the time i signed up for work pot luck and made turkey chili. i made the chili really spicy with jalapeno peppers and i added kidney beans (i know...not really chili). so, i made a bunch of this stuff the night before. i ended up eating some for dinner. i went into work and brought the chili in a crock pot. then, it hit me. i had the worst stomach pain imaginable, couldn't really walk, and felt like i was about to explode out my rear. so, i made the longest 30 foot walk EVER to a handicap single person bathroom (that we thankfully had) from my work cubicle. i was literally farting with every step i took trying to not drop a load in my pants. those were some tough baby steps. i had to stop along the way many times and try to make it look like i was okay (on the cell phone) along the way for appearances sake. i thought it was over at least ten times along the way...where i couldn't stop what was coming. but, somehow i managed to hold back. i finally made it to the bathroom and it was thankfully unoccupado. i basically exploded when i sat down with some of the loudest, ungodliest sounds you ever heard. then, i was thinking "uh oh" as everyone was eating the chili. i was thinking it was a bad chili batch and the whole office was going to have problems. but, i never heard anything and it was eaten all up. i think it was just me who was crippled by my own chili...but who really knows as noone would confess something like that. the comments were good about the chili after the pot luck. lol
My dog is the king of farts. When he lays on the tiles you can here the air going against the ground. They stink up the room. I gave him gas medicine but he built an immunity in 2 weeks.
the worst one was in a chappel when we were praying (group) the rosary in the seminary with my fellow seminarians. i thought it was going to be a quite one but it sounded like I was playing a violin....
My wife's mother, sister, and nephew were living with us at the time and everyone was in different rooms, I think my sister-in-law was the furthest in the kitchen and I had my room door closed and BAM!!! I just let one rip. It was so loud I heard her say, "did Sean just fart?" That was a mean ass fart.
http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?p=2305345#post2305345 Saint Louis's makes me laugh because I did that to a male friend co-worker but no hot girl was involved...just left him with it and he didn't know until it was too late...LOL
My worst fart was medically enhanced from all the air in my colon after my colonoscopy. It lasted like 10 or 15 seconds and was just incredibly loud and semi wet from the lube. I am positive that everybody in the doctors office heard it even though i was in the changing room at the time. I cant honestly remember the worst natural one but i have sharted several times in my life and its juat the worst feeling in the world. I am ashamed to look at my underwear afterwards
On a charter bus heading to a restaurant after a HS cross country meet, my stomach was in serious pain and in need of relief. I was sitting in probably the 6th row from the front. I scooted forward in my seat and lifted up my legs to relieve the pressure on my abdomen. Wind was broken; the fart traveled forward towards the front. Completely silent but one where you could feel the pressure change. It lasted probably 5 full seconds. The result: row by row guys were going "wtf is that smell". By the time it hit the first row (the coaches) people were turning around wondering what happened and the coaches were pissed. Then I hear from the bus driver "did someone break the toilet?!?!?!" The bus made it to the restaurant a short time later and I RAN to the bathroom for deuces. By the time I came out, the team was all off the bus and waiting in line to order; the bus driver walked up to me leaving the bathroom, pointed at me, and yelled "it was YOU!". Fun times. The best fart story I was a part of but wasn't the farter was in HS as well. In the middle of a written essay test for AP World History, the classroom suddenly reeked of fart. We all literally stopped writing and just stared around at each other wondering who did it. 2 min later, a kid stood up and owned up "it was me guys". We all just busted out laughing, and the teacher, who was on the other side of the room and didn't smell it, just gave us all an incredibly perplexed look.
Wow! This thread is making me remember other good ones... One time I was In a wal-mart goofing around with my cousin. We were near the gaming isle I think and I thought no one else was around besides me and my cousin. I then turn and tell my cousin "listen to this". I then proceed to rip off a long loud one followed by smaller ripples. My cousin laughs and points behind me. I then turn around and see about 3 workers coming out of the break room just staring at me... I wanted to drop dead. Good times.
One of my friends made another kid throw up from one of his farts. We were all in a 15 passenger van. It was the summer and kind of stuffy in the van. The kid was already feeling sick, then my friend farted, and the other kid spewed everywhere. Freaking hilarious.
