[my boy just came in from afghanistan, so i'm lit up. anyway heres a poll]

Sitting.

And I finish off w/ baby wipes to get that nice cleaner feeling.

Reminds me of that douche commercial, how many years ago? A middle-aged mother and her daughter at country club table:

"Mom, sometimes I don't feel fresh."

"Well, Summer's Eve" (mother produces box of this product she was hiding under the table "really keeps your hoo-hoo from kicking up."

Replace this with middle-aged father and twenty-something son:

"Dad, sometimes I don't feel, you know, fresh."

"Well, do you wipe sitting or standing? And do you use" (father produces baby wipes from under the table) "these?"

 

These are awesome:

 

I don't wipe. Not a f*****.

 

how is it possible to wipe standing?? Is this a joke?

 

Seriously, is this regional? I am not even sure about the logistics of wiping standing up.

 

phew, was beginning to lose my mind and think something was wrong with me.

 

I don't wipe either. Friends, please consider the environment before using toilet paper.

 

heard dat

 

I wipe standing with Rice Toilet Paper, and finish it off with Oklahoma wet wipes. How my ass taste?

 

I sorta just lean and put all my weight on one cheek and wipe.

 

You still take a shower after you drop a deuce?

 

I don't wipe anymore. I've genetically altered a certain bacteria and spread it on my butt. The bacteria lives off my poop and cleans my butt for me. Literally, I poop, wait 30 seconds, then put my undies back on.

 

Better question for the poll wtf how does it stop spinning.... I wipe my ass normal sitting.... anybody else that's too lazy for a guy stands but that's just a p***y. Better question is how does **** stop spinning holy ****ing **** loading data has gone in circles like 3 diff. times. Tell me clutchfans, how do I get "undrunk" cause thats the answer to the question of all questions....

 

You don't stand straight up. You just stand up enough to get your cheeks off the seat. Imagine a catcher in that standing yet still crouching position.

Now, since I don't do it, how do you wipe sitting? Do you keep both cheeks on the seat and reach your hand into the toilet in the gap between your junk and the seat? Do you lean forward and go from the back?

 

Cause I refuse to be a little a drunk b**** like moes & change my siggy when I'm too drunk & FOLD cause my team will actually take my division & will go through with facing tj yate's led texans & give them a ****ing fight til the afc championship. SDHOU 4 life. Go terrence williams led rockets, go chargers, screw dd & screw moes. Paper mashay anyways.

 

stand. Less time on a dirty ass seat the better. Plus I feel refreshed and invigorated

surprised that the results are this close...