How to deal with nosey family members on Thanksgiving

Just tell them that it is Thanksgiving and a time to get away from work, no need to spoil it by talking about it, and change the subject.

Ask them if they think Matt Schaub is an elite QB.....

DD

 

Blame them for medical and engineering failures. If there's a lawyer at the table, blame them for our ****ed up legal system.

 

Tell them about your summer vacations ............

 

Wouldn't that mean that they could possibly have been taught incorrectly by their teac--never mind.

 

Just talk up your job. Every time they question it just start talking about something great that happened in class/school. Make them feel like their job sucks. Worst thing you can do is act awkwardly or quiet, they'll assume that means they're right or have a point.

 

Cleverly disguised anti-Semitic thread.

 

Tell them you've got AIDS.

 

If you were genuinely secure about your job of choice, you would have no problem justifying it or even giving positive anecdotes about it.

But if you're not, remember that movie theaters are usually open on Thanksgiving.

 

ask them how many private jets and islands they can purchase with the fruits of their petty bourgeois professions. then lament along with them that alas, they too are but mere serfs on the man's plantation (albeit assistant general forman serfs with slightly higher pay grades)

 

"You mean like career? Uh, I don't know. I've, I've thought about this quite a bit sir, and I'd have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or... process anything sold, bought or processed, or repair anything sold, bought or processed, you know, as a career I don't want to do that. So, uh, my father's in the army, he wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kickboxing, which is really a, uh, new sport, but I think it's got a good future. As far as career longevity goes, I don't really know, because, you know, you can't really tell. Your training sticks as a fighter, you know, but it's no good, you know, you have to be great, but I can't really tell if I'm great until I've had a couple of pro fights. But I haven't been knocked out yet. I don't know, I can't figure it all out tonight sir, I'm going to hang with your daughter." -- Lloyd Dobler

 

I has a role.

 

Tell them you're a chemistry teacher and you've recently been offered a very lucrative position as a chef on the side.

 

Just live with the flack you will get. You made the decision to have a mediocre job and now must suffer the consequences. Look on the bright side, I promise that you do not have as demanding a job as being a lawyer or engineer. Enjoy your summer vacation while they work.

 

Tell them you have sex with students.

 

Tell them you have cancer

 

Lie about how wildly successful your life has been to an outrageously obnoxious degree until it becomes overt sarcasm, and then be passive-agressively rude for the remainder of the day.

Also, become violent during any interregnum of interaction which poses the possibility for physical conflict, such as a lull in the conversation, or when someone bends over to pick something up, or when someone starts going on about how they got a recent promotion, etc.

I know this might seem like an incredibly drastic and inappropriate course of action to take, but just think of how hilarious it would be in the grand scheme of things.

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” -- Charlie Chaplin

 

Tell them you're a loser with no balls and you had to post a thread on the internet about them to learn how to deal with their intimidation.

I bet you're a Ginger.

 

Ask them if they believe in Jesus.

Tell them that Jesus was a carpenter and you teach wood shop.

and then "...I'm sorry what do you do again?" and then whenever they say something, immediately interrupt them with WWJD.

 

tell them it is because the little boys are so cute. that should shut them up.

 

Are they GP's and pediatricians? Tell them Jesus was a teacher.

Are they surgeons? Tell them if there weren't any teachers, when they die just like anyone else, who is going to keep educating new doctors into the profession? Emphasize the word DIE and ANYONE ELSE.

Are they engineers? Flip them off, then laugh hysterically. Be generally illogical.

But the best thing you can do, and I don't care what anyone says, is to not go and tell them exactly why you are not going. Don't get upset, be very polite and honest. Tell them that birth is random, but gatherings are not, so we can't keep having gatherings where you are forced to go because of who you're related to. It doesn't take a doctor or an engineer to figure that out.