I'd like to host an open mic for cf members who would like to try stand-up for a great cause. To make this show attractive to venues I'd need to fill 10-12 spots to perform 3-5 minutes each and have each participant to invite out at least 5 friends. I would like to also ask cf to support this event as we would donate the door to the family of a member of this board who we recently lost. I'm thinking that an hour prior to the show the participants can meet me at the venue and I would show you basic mic technique, and we could go over your set if you'd like. This thread is for people who want to try their hand at stand-up, so please don't waste time telling me that you want to participate with no intention of showing up. Trolls need not respond. This is going to require a lot of work on my part but I think it would be a cool social outing for the board and a great fundraiser. If you want to participate tell us a funny story. Include these elements: Tell us where you were. What mood were you in. The funny thing that happened. How you felt about it. On Monday at noon if I have at least 10 stories/participants we will do the show, if we have 13 or more I will choose the funniest 12. If less than 10 then maybe we'll try this again another time. My tentative date for the show is Monday November 14th at 8pm. Thanks!
"OMG. Are you serious... NO. You are... NOT doing the open MIC thing, OMG. Tell BDW I said 'NO.'" - Mrs. SwoLy-D So... I'm sorry to disappoint you, ima_drummer2k and moes. It is with my deepest regret to inform you that I will not do it.
I'm a 41 year old college student which isn't quite as weird as one would think, lots of non-traditional students out there and I don't feel in the slightest out of place on the University of Houston Clear Lake campus, I'm not even the oldest person in each of my classes. However, I started out taking day time classes at a Community College. And most of my classmates prom boutonnieres and corsages were barely dry, ya know. So, I learned lots of little tricks.....dress like a member of the cast of Jersey Shore the first day so people didn't just assume you were the professor. Then one day, right around Thanksgiving time, a miracle happened....I was hit on by a 19 year old. Well, "I" felt like she was hitting on me anyway, maybe she was just being polite, maybe she wanted me to recommend a backache cream for her dad, who knows...anyway she was smiling at me and talking. So I tried out my moves, you know.....what are you doing for Thanksgiving, where did you go to high school.....all the charming light banter one picks up in 38 years. She was totally overmatched.....after all, I am a smooth dude. I was just about to ask her if she wanted to maybe hang out some time...when it happened. I sat down. And I made......wait for it......the most pathetic sounding "old man" groan, in the history of planet earth. Homer Simpsons dad would have been proud of this groan "eeeeeyaaaohhhhhhhhhhnffffff" The color left her face almost immediately, she smiled politely and talked to one of the guys next to her. He smelled like Southern Comfort and Apple Jacks and wore the same damn hunting themed T-shirt every day...but at least he didn't groan like a freaking dying moose ya know. End of the semester, 19 year old hottie is dating the Southern Apple Moose Man, and I am left to wonder what might have been. eeeeeyaaaohhhhhhhhhhnffffff And now I would like to close with a poem of my own composition. Ode to the Woman on the Fat Cart at Kroger Don’t be coy, Miss. I know you are just saving your strength for me. I want you naked as the day you were born (in the 1950’s) That blue hair makes me want to grab it, while I take you from behind I want to pet each of your 19 cats, including the one dearest to my heart I have seen you eyeing those spareribs and I know that you are a woman who understands lust The other girls in the red hat society wouldn’t understand I’m young, in a relative way but I can learn I want to conquer you like the old world treasure you are Sail your stormy seas of delight Like riding a bicycle, some things you never forget Oh GILF, your infinite resources intrigue me Your time tested passion lures me You are a classic car and I want to go for a joyride Don’t dismiss me as a mere boy For I am grown up in all the important ways Let me be the Harold to your Maude Let us travel down the Sunset Boulevard to our own sweet bower of bliss And there find joy eternal, there is no expiration date
Honestly, I have an issue with stages. That's right, I can't ride the stage from Tuscon to San Francisco without first getting three bottles of whiskey drunk first and then shooting at clouds with my six-shooter. Also, I lied about the Three's Company routine. It's really a tragedy about the dark years of 3C after Chrissy leaves. Terrible sadness.
I would like to nominate moes. He would kill it. As soon as he walked on stage everyone would laugh. Then it would escalate and it wouldn't matter what he said, everyone would be cracking up. By the end of the night everyone would go home in a great mood, with a smile on their faces, and thinking about how great (their) life is.
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Great stuff MM, that's almost 3 minutes right there! Honestly "funny" for the night is going to be relative, so don't be afraid to try your hand at it. Nobody is expecting George Carlin so don't be afraid of not rocking the house...I'll take care of that. I need more stories people, lets do this!!! If you can't be funny...be interesting. This is certainly the right place for that.
My fiancee has an amazing story about a friend of hers who went sky-diving with an instructor. As soon as they jump out of the plane... the instructor dude gets an adrenaline boner and its knocking right up her back door the entire time they are in the air, until the time they hit the ground. Needless to say she was a little too mortified to ask for a refund.
Just the kind of story we need. That is hilarious! email me at cop2comic@gmail.com Moes ur a funny dude. Get on board man, the experience promises to give YOU an adrenaline boner.
