Awww, I’m sorry it didn’t work out for ya. Truthfully, the couple times a guy friend has told me they like me, or even worse, just went for trying to kiss me, I got really freaked out and we haven’t stayed friends…so I was going to tell you it might be a bad idea. But then, MadMax’s story really kinda made my heart melt and I changed my mind. But I’m glad at least you know, and that everything’s still okay between you two. You’re a brave soul. Props.
Moving on is best, and it's good that she had the grace to do it as nicely as she did, and that you guys are still friends. Move on as quickly as you can though. If you are truly ready to move on then read this spoiler otherwise don't do it. Spoiler I'm not saying she will change her mind, but sometimes it takes a while after the subject is broached for her to think over and build it up, so she may change her mind. You moving on may help that happen as some of the pressure will be off. That's one of the reasons why it's good to make it casual when you bring up going out on a date in the first place. The less pressure you bring to the situation the better it is. All of that being said, it may well be that you guys will just be friends and she won't change her mind. It's just that it's a possibility.
How did you say it? Is there at least a chance you two can still be friends with benefits? I think at this point, that's the best thing that could come out from this. Good luck.
friends with benefits is the total opposite situation that he is in now. He is in a strictly platonic relationship with her. As in she thinks he is a awesome friend with good character but is not sexually attracted to him. Friends with benefits is the opposite. She would be sexually attracted to him but doesn't care for him as a person. When you have both then its called a relationship.
Props on doing this how you did it and on handling it the way you did. You are very smart and mature for a 22 yr old. Your friendship with her probably won't be a strong as it was, and she'll probably avoid you some, but whatever you do, don't act like a puppy dog and just follow her around and don't ever talk about your feeling for her again unless she brings it up. You put it out there, she knows how you feel, if she changes her mind one day then it's her job to tell you. Don't push it any further. Once again, I'm proud of the way you approached this and handled this.
Best advice. She does not see you as an alpha male or a mate, and is not physically attracted to you. She does not respect you in that way, so it is up to you as to whether you decide to remain friends with her.... realize though, that she will always have something on you if you remain friends. Personally, I say life is short, see it for what it is, learn from it and move on.
We're still friends. Have been for a long time. I completely trust all of my good friends, and they all trust me. That's the main reason I told her. I felt guilty about not being honest with her. I didn't do it to get into her pants. (Although that would have been nice.) If I had complete control over my feelings, I'd never fall for anyone I'm already close with. But I don't, and I did. Just had to bite the bullet, tell her, and hope everything turned out relatively okay. Beans spilt, pressure lifted, friendship intact. Could it have turned out better for me? Sure, but you can't always have your ideal situation. I'll try to be content with a relatively good one. The day one of my friends stabs me in the back is the day I'll REALLY freak out. Don't expect it to happen though. Thanks for the concern, everyone. I'm okay though. At least for now.
Dude, I hate to say it but there's NO WAY you can be friends with someone you have feelings for. Just no way. You can try but soon you'll realize it's not possible. Superficially it could be possible, but deep inside you'll still have those feelings and you'll hope she'll wanna be with you someday. Don't set yourself up for heartache again. Trust me, I've been through it. Read the ladder theory. Learn it. Live it. http://www.laddertheory.com/
Already read it. I'm not gonna end a friendship just because a website tells me it shouldn't exist. Feelings will eventually subside. Also, that would kind of make me a jerk.
Nah, not really. Well it depends on how long y'all have been friends? If you TRULY want to make it only a friend relationship then I guess you can be one of the few men to make it work. But know this, when she starts dating other guys, and if you're single it's gonna hurt like hell.
Yea, I know. I'll deal with that if/when the time comes. Until then, I'm gonna do my best to move on. It's a little easier to do once you're sure the feelings aren't mutual. It may be the copious amounts of YuGiOh I watched as a kid, but I value my friendships a lot, and it would take a lot for me to throw one away. A whole heck of a lot more than this. Thanks for the advice though.
