I am not religious. I believe in God. I believe in the teachings. I have faith in better things to come. I believe this will come for you. I cannot convince you of anything. I don't get bogged down in the rituals. Reading about Job . . . teaches perseverence Reading about Mr. Hershey could teach you something similar Reading about Jesus can teach you compassion Reading about Mother Theresa can teach you something similar Whether you choose a religious figure . . . a historical figure. . . . I think there is plenty of examples of faith and perserverence being rewarded. I only ask you to keep your faith. Rocket River
One thing I can tell you is not having religious faith doesn't make things any easier, except you can sleep in on Sunday. I think that's why the older more established religions try to emphasize a more mystical relationship with a god. It keeps the promise of faith alive in the face of a harsh reality. It might be better to have a carrot on a stick you can never reach than just a stick with nothing on it. But your own sense of the truth is what it is. You can't fake faith. You are however 100% committed to the welfare of your child. That's where you should look for your purpose, satisfaction and peace. But I'd walk on those mortgages.
I saw a good saying from a pastor on tv the other day: God cares more about your character than your comfort... Really impacted me in a positive way when reflecting on the difficulties and challenges I've faced in my life. Keep the faith.
This is something with which I cannot agree. The carrot on the stick is an eternally unfulfilled promise. It's a lie. It's emotionally and mentally manipulative and can keep you walking even when you should pause and think for a bit. I'd rather have the stick removed and make my choices based on the truths and knowledge that come from within than some extrinsic fabrication.
Manny, I know you are going through a very hard time right now, and it seems unbearable, but believe me it's not a lost battle. You say you have read the book of Job, so you know of all the hardships he went through. He pretty much lost EVERYTHING and was struck with a horrible illness. But through all of that he didn't lose his faith in God and remained loyal. What you are going through right now is very tough, but don't lose your faith in God. James chapter 1 and verse 13 says: "When under trial, let no one say: 'I am being tried by God.' For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone." God isn't the cause of your problems. Yes, he does ALLOW it to happen, just like he allowed it to happen to Job and countless others. This would be the time to keep praying to God, and keep your faith strong. I suggest reading the Gospels, the story of Jesus' life is very comforting and gives you strength. Also the lives of the apostles show endurance can be maintained. I do agree with others that you should probably get help for your depression. Maybe see a specialist or something. But I do wish you the very best in your endeavors.
Damn religion, faith... etc. This is about YOU. For the first time in your life you have had real adversity, that no one can solve or fix. So you are soft, because until recently you never had to be tough. Keep fighting and get your life back on track. You owe it to yourself and those around you. When you get your life back, and you will, be proud because you will have learned alot and will be a STRONGER and more confident person for it. Worse thing you can do is wait for "God" to bail you out, or sit and feel bad for yourself.... nothing will change if you do that. This is on you, you, not Jesus or anyone else can make things better for you.... only you. I agree with Moe and others, when it is hard, take it as a challenge... and if it is still too much, then retreat to music, or other passions. Be proactive...
Hey Manny, You're at a rough patch, and I wish you the best. Religion is meant to be a tool rather than to be a problem. What happens if that double mortgage isn't paid? Hit on the cred report and blacklist from buying another house?
Finally got a chance to sit down and respond to this. I've really wanted to all day since I read this earlier. I've been there man. I went through a bad divorce, wife having a full on affair, left with a mountain of debt, emotional scars, becoming a part time father to my son when the legal system didn't give a crap about everything she did, having to reluctantly accept the invitation at 30 yrs' old (33 now) to move back into my parents' house. Even before all of that, my son was diagnosed with autism, felt VERY disconnected with family, I was bored with life, felt trapped in debt, I could go on and on. I was like, "God who?" Why would God allow all of this to happen? I was raised Catholic and couldn't stand it. I hadn't gone to church in probably 10+ years when my marriage ended. So, I wasn't on great terms towards God before then any way. In February though, I took an invite to go to a service at Lakewood. Trust me, that first service I thought was dumb as he**. I scoffed at everything Joel Osteen said and I couldn't believe all these people believed the crap. The ONLY good thing I saw about it was they didn't beat you over the head with all the religious crap like every Catholic and Lutheran church I've ever been to. I'm not going bore everyone with the details and everything that has happened since (it would be a novel anyway), but I started to go every week (really because it was a social outing with friends, brother and sister-in-law as we would go out to eat before service and Starbucks afterwards). I can't tell you how much my life and my mindset has changed the more I've opened the door for God to be in my life. Relationships got better, my depressive state of mind went away, I felt true happiness for the first time in YEARS. In August, I stood up at the end of service at Lakewood (in front of hundreds of people) to dedicate my life to God. Yes, Mr. There Is No Such Thing as God. Like I said, I'm giving a really bare cliff-nots version of all of this. As for you going through issues, everyone is going to go through a time where their faith is tested. But know, that no matter what happens or how you feel, God is always there. You may not see it through crap you're dealing with, but he is always there to fight your battles. He will never let things get the point that you can't handle. When I was going through all my crap at the end of the marriage, everyone kept telling me, "Everything happens for a reason." God, I hated that saying!!! But, you know what, God sees the potential each and every one of us has. And, if it takes you dealing with some hardships for you to reach that potential, he'll do it. Just like a good parent. Some times you have to let your kid deal with somethings so thy can learn. There is a preacher named TD Jakes who came down to Lakewood to speak one weekend, he put it like this.... we are all connected on a vine. God is the great gardner. He sees you as becoming a beautiful rose. But, just like a great gardner, he knows that there are some flowers that need to be pruned, and in the exact right spot and time, to become an even bigger more beautiful flower. So, as bad as it seems right now, good news.... this means there is only something special to come your way in the future. God sees something great in you and he wants you to see it for yourself one day. I really could go on and on. If you ever want to discuss this stuff or need someone to talk to, feel free to email me through the board. Trust me, I'm not some religious nut and I won't beat you over the head with stuff about God. I'm really a newbie anyway. LOL!!! And, you are more than welcome to join me next Saturday night for Lakewood's 7:00 service. Again, they don't do all of that religious crap. It's just a good, positive atmosphere with a bunch of good people, and some great music. Good luck with everything, I'll say a prayer for and your family. Just know that you are not alone and people are here for you and God is by your side making sure you get through this all. But, it takes faith to allow him to do more work and do great things for you. Just remember this.... there is a big difference between religion and faith. God bless.
Manny - don't let a temporary mindset attempt to dictate your belief system. It will be superficial and uncomfortable for the long run. After things settle, find your peace with yourself and then evaluate your beliefs, life, etc, with a clear mind. I am sorry you are going through this. Don't listen to anybody in this thread and don't rely on others to bolster or adjust your beliefs right now. Just work for yourself. Go to the basement, crank up the turntable (go old school - Britney Spears!), get out the solder kit, and get to work.
Life goes on - and it gets better. I actually have a far more positive day-to-day life than when I was religious. Life is beautiful. There is still plenty of purpose and much to live for and appreciate. If you're in a rut, it will get better.
Manny, I feel bad for all the troubles you're going through. I don't think there is too much other than time, good friends, and family that can see you through this. As far as your faith I can't judge it, and wouldn't presume to even try. I would say that maybe it doesn't have to go away all together, but clearly what you did believe doesn't seem fulfilling to you at this point in your life. I would hope that means your faith does change. The way I look at things and religion would be that it might mean you do some soul searching and research into the bible and that in the end your faith changes in a way that makes it stronger. I don't mean that you do what you did before in regards to church with more zealousness but that you look at God, or the bible in a totally different way. Maybe your whole concept of god will change and grow. For instance instead of looking at God as a being that looks after people and punishes them or not, looking at God as love, and the more of it you have in your life and give to other people the happier it will make you. That's just a thought inclined with my own view of Christianity, and it definitely doesn't have to be yours. I think like Deckard said the most important thing is that you work on making yourself the best you can right now, and dealing with all of the many issues that are troubling to you, and that the religion part will probably take care of itself. I wish you the best of luck.
I often listen to this when I feel hopeless: <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VeBb-gTjWKA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Most religion, and religious people are captive to a Just World Fallacy. Not all, as this thread has demonstrated, but most of the nicest religious people I know believe somehow that everyone gets what they deserve. I think it's safe to say you don't deserve the misery you are in. There's nothing wrong with good ole-fashioned Modernism and finding something grounded to define your life by. I picked up a guitar at 30, graduated with an MA in creative writing at 36. I write books and play in a band with an African refugee and two Israeli grad students in Tel Aviv. I'm considering doing a PhD on GB Shaw. Seven years ago I was a well-paid Unix Sys Admin in Los Angeles with a funky bellydancer girlfriend and I was ****ing miserable The world's a large and awfully interesting place and if you don't mind missing a few meals and taking a chance, you are still young enough to re-define your life any damn way you want to.
manny, i say this very sincerely, you seem to be going down a destructive path of another poster. i to am struggling with life right, and i'm depressed. just try anything though. get some help
It goes to state of mind. I'm agnostic but sometimes I have to battle the 'nothing matters', 'it's all pointless syndrome' that will leave you without any motivation or measure of satisfaction. All subjective judgments are relative. "Am I doing well, am I making the right choices?" have to be measured against some standard. Some people can develop their own value system, but historically religion has played a defining role in that. If one does have a belief in a religious system and can say " I'm doing what a greater power want me todo and will receive an eternal reward, it has to provide a deep sense of satisfaction and peace of mind. One that those of us without religion will have a hard time replicating. I can't imagine any emotion a human could have being better than joining in a a Gospel Choir (and a Hammond Organ) celebrating a true belief the redemption of all mankind. It must be pure joy. That's why I don't ever try to talk anyone out of religious faith anymore.
