A thousand times, YES! The sooner you begin to address the depression, the easier the rest of the journey becomes...
I'm really sorry you've gone through all that, Manny. But I'm not capable of proving up God to you. Anything I would say would be trite and I'm too far removed to speak into your life. I can only tell you that Jesus hardly suggests life will be a rose garden. John the Baptist had his head chopped off...the early church was thrown to the lions...Jesus himiself was crucified. If you were looking for no problems..no pain..no suffering...you were looking in the wrong place. In fact, in my experience, following Jesus makes life a lot harder than it would be for me otherwise...a lot harder. I am in complete agreement with those suggesting counseling, regardless of where you come out on these issues. Wishing you well, brother.
Not trying to kick you while down, but there was about 2000 years worth of evidence involving a whole lot of individual requests that shows that God won't fix your problems for you if you pray hard enough. Have you ever read the Book of Job? Remember some dude who cried, 'Father, why have you forsaken me?'. Respectfuly, if your faith in God was founded on an implicit quid pro quo, I dont really think that that is God as depicted in the Christian Bible. I don't subscribe to those beliefs, but even so, sounds like you've been listening to snake oil salesmen, telling you God promised more than he did in the Bible.
Religion to me is truly opium of the masses. It's hard to accept that for all our thoughts, feelings, awareness and uniqueness, we just simply cease to exist. That in fact our whole existence, fears, desires, culture, output is based on an imperfectly self replicating molecule continuing to do what it has done for a billion years. But once you get over it, you can actually enjoy what you have. Starts to make you think how small and petty most of the things we stress about really are...how little difference it makes either way, how free we really are. It can be very liberating in a way. Of course, we're engineered not to be free.
Manny, Along with many others in this thread, it might benefit you to seek some counseling. You don't need validation from religion or god to be happy, look inside yourself, find the beauty in that (could argue that is god). Either way, try to get some help, and seperate the depression from the spiritual journey. DD
I like to think it’s more about the act of religion than what or whom the religion is about. Maybe you just need to find something else to believe in. Or better yet, and like Chris Rock said in Dogma, “…better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier…”
You're 38, about the time of a mid-life crises. Join the group Manny. I don't know 1 person at this age that doesn't think about death, his or her lack of accomplishments, the fact that you only got so much time left. All of this is pretty scary stuff. Until you get to that point, it is hard to fathom the fact that one day you are going to be lying somewhere dead and can do nothing about it but just lay there and be put underground. The funny thing is the older you get the more likely you are to actually have a true belief in God or not, because you will be more apt to face your mortality. It is not an as easy a decision when you are facing the prospects of dying, to say confidently that I believe in God. One thing I've looked at lately is that existence altogether is pretty mind blowing to me. I don't mean our individual existence, but I mean the face that there is a world at all. A lot about life is pretty mind blowing if you think about it. I know one thing you really start figuring out what is really important the older you get.
Thanks, I might just do that. I've read Job. I would venture that the first 32 years I was alive, my life was ridiculously easy - ridiculously easy. My biggest complaint was that I was lonely. So, I "prayed" that I would find someone and that everything would be okay. So, God found someone for me, I married that person, was married for 5 years and have a son by her. I also quit a very stable and good paying (for where I live) job to take a job that paid more money but was too much for me to handle. I got laid off after 7 and a half months, lived off retirement for 6 months as I could not find a job, fought with my wife constantly (including several physical altercations), found out that she no longer loves me, divorced her, moved in to live with my parents (while I am continuing to pay TWO mortgages on a house I'll never live in), and teaching math to a bunch of kids who don't want to be in school. I get that life is supposed to be hard but I feel like that for 32 years, I was given a free pass. Now, it is like in these last 5 plus years, I have been given 32 years worth of **** but in 5 years...it is just too much sometimes. If it wasn't for my son and my parents, I would have already ended my life. I am on a prescription antidepressant in lexapro - maybe I need to be on more stuff or something even stronger. Good post as that is what I feel now.
not Jesus, but Music, is love. Spoiler <iframe width="960" height="720" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4fOIxwLUSNQ?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Spoiler <iframe width="960" height="720" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vlXlf-g7JLU?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
we've had the whole "religion is the opiate of the masses vs. you better believe today or you're gonna burn" discussion about a million times in here. almost feels disrespectful to have that again in this thread given how personal it is. here's what i think we can all agree on....get help, manny. if you're having thoughts of ending your life, please please please please get help. you have people who love you dearly who literally can not imagine their life without you. you make them smile and they do the same for you. please don't give up on that.
I should clarify I don't mean this in a political context. Just that we find security in religion which works in the absence of evidence and science, but when one wakes up and realizes that reality might be a lot harsher, it's fairly traumatic and literally is like going through withdrawal. But once past that life goes on. I agree with others on here, if you are going through this, best to speak to a professional. I don't mean to make light of it or turn it into a debate.
I don't know. I can't say my life is an example of what anyone else here went through. But you need some life adjustment now, at this juncture in your life. You at this point have the freedom to truly unleash your true potential and to achieve happiness. Sometimes you need somebody to tell you what you need to hear, and sometimes you've been so blinded by the obvious thing in front of you that you only need one person to point out to you that you should pursue your passion. You're an extremely sensitive soul, and you have always been a seeker of validation, somebody who needed to know that the world loved you back, you have a knowledge of music that would put most so-called "experts" to shame and you have always been able to articulate yourself extremely well. You have the ability to do something music related, trust me. It should be painfully obvious to any other of the long-time posters here that know you. Why aren't you dipping into what you love? Its obvious that music is exactly what has propelled your life and now it sustains it. Those nights you listen to those lyrics, you understand the depths of human depression. Lonely nights, wanting to turn to pills, booze, etc, its all there in black and white. Try listening to Elliott Smith at 4:30 AM on a Wednesday night and not wanting to just give up. But it also heals, as some blues-y poster around here has in his signature. Once you immerse yourself fully into doing what you love for a living, all those existential questions just kind of become less important. Discover yourself, jabroni.
I haven't really leaned on religion since I was a kid so hard to relate to many who have it strongly as part of their lives. But I can relate to the hardships you describe. Antidepressants will work a lot better in conjunction with seeing someone who is an expert. Therapy did wonders for me - namely in learning to see that most of my pain was related to my thought process and not the actual things going on, and learning to over come that. I honestly think it's beneficial to anyone and everyone, and I am definitely better for it. So if you have the means to access it, by all means take advantage. Find someone you feel a good connection with and give it a good chance. You seem like a solid guy.
Manny - I'm drunk, coming back from Oktoberfest. I think that many of the questions you are asking - many of us have been asking. I don't have the answers for you. I usually try to make stupid jokes or argue or something, but after reading your post, all I can say is - keep your head up. Better times will come. I wish you the best.
I don't think we find security in religion. We don't even know we need security, as a young person. So all of this opium hogwash is just that. Our security, if you want to call it that, is the mantra that the young live forever. And anyway, it takes a truly gifted person to be on his death bed and believe that he is about to go on to oblivion, that nothing else is left. I'd like to see the person who on his death bed and facing the prospects that he will never see his wife and kids again, doesn't have at least a glimmer of hope that a god is out there and he will be able to see them again in the afterlife.
You don't need faith, just remember that you control your own destiny largely. Anything else that happens to you will be a matter of random luck, not some higher being.
