1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

The Mansion Gentleman's Club

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by El Hitman, Sep 10, 2011.

  1. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2002
    Messages:
    36,387
    Likes Received:
    9,299
    I would like to audition as a dancer. What time should I be there?

    [​IMG]
     
  2. IBTL

    IBTL Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    15,560
    Likes Received:
    15,767
    Man I am jealous of every single one of you bastards in houston that could go there tonight, and be a fly on the wall for this 'interview' process. I can see the application now for El Hitman's klub:

    "
    EMPLOYEE APPLICATION
    Thank you for applying to 'The Mansion' Please fill out the application, and be sure to answer as honestly, or lie as much as you can, remember this is about boats and hoes so it's all good. Some questions are short essay, and some are mutiple choice.


    Questions:
    1) How many C section scars or bullet wounds do you have?

    2) Do you own stock in any of the following companies?
    A) Carmex
    B) Valtrex
    C) Blue Star Ointment
    D) Captain D's


    3)How do you feel about cigarette burns? Are you okay with that? We mean can the manager burn you right now? Yes or No?

    4) How did you enter the USA?

    A)swam
    B) hollowed tire
    C) fresh off the boat (duh of course!)
    D) Vaginally
    E) coyote style (cuz thatz how I roll)

    5) When was the last time you saw your father? and do you have any daddy issues?

    6)Have you ever been on a seafaring vessel ?

    7) Do you like seafood?

    8) Do you have a gag reflex?

    9) There is a garden hose and with a golf ball on the other side that has been placed in front of you for this portion of the interview. Please suck said ball through garden hose. You will be graded on style points as well as tenacity.

    10) Does the letter "I" or the number "9" mean anything to you?

    11) Are you available nights AND from 3AM -7AM for potential on site visits to managers home office (bedroom)?

    12) If you are fat that's okay, we are looking for some good captains to drive EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

    13) "Boats and Hoe's"
    Please respond with your first thoughts, and words that come to mind. Must be at least 2 sentences
    THANK YOU
     
    4 people like this.
  3. Lady_Di

    Lady_Di Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2007
    Messages:
    5,354
    Likes Received:
    155
    Dude, even with this application, they will not be able fill it out...all they know is to suck a dick. If that was an application, they all will excel.
     
  4. El Hitman

    El Hitman Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    40
    Bwahahhahahah. I'm gonna have to paste and copy that. It'll be my "fake" application. LOL
     
  5. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2001
    Messages:
    37,618
    Likes Received:
    1,456
    :(

    [​IMG]
     
  6. AroundTheWorld

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2000
    Messages:
    83,288
    Likes Received:
    62,280
    Nothing else required.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. IBTL

    IBTL Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    15,560
    Likes Received:
    15,767
    come on Lady Di we know you are applying ,but don't think you are getting any special clutchfans exception. We will need you to fill out the application.

    If El Hitman can get video of you doing the garden hose demo #9, I will donate to the tip jar, and your tip jar. and give rep points to that that may be witness

    Thank you in advance
     
  8. v3.0

    v3.0 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,203
    Likes Received:
    931
    Ooooooh look at Mrs. High and Mighty I can do more things than just chupa la verga lady. :rolleyes:
     
  9. Lady_Di

    Lady_Di Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2007
    Messages:
    5,354
    Likes Received:
    155
    Swoly-D, what's with the Marilyn Monroe reference?

    Nah IBTL, I have something better.

    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. javal_lon

    javal_lon Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    11,709
    Likes Received:
    9,592
    Damn girl you such a turn on!!!... Why dont you allow me to pick you up something to eat from this place you speaking of?...Maybe we'll stop and have dinner afterwards?? :eek::eek:
     
  11. Xerobull

    Xerobull ...and I'm all out of bubblegum
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2003
    Messages:
    36,807
    Likes Received:
    35,650
    Clutchfans faints...
     
  12. Harrisment

    Harrisment Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2001
    Messages:
    15,392
    Likes Received:
    2,158
    Hmmm....

    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. got em COACH

    got em COACH Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,253
    Likes Received:
    1,090
    [​IMG]
    That is soo sexy. Ahhh rooooo gaaa!! *pant *pant *pant * faint
     
  14. BigM

    BigM Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2001
    Messages:
    18,091
    Likes Received:
    13,366

    repped...this thread is too good.
     
  15. Kam

    Kam Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2002
    Messages:
    30,476
    Likes Received:
    1,322
    Daaaaaaaaaamn.

    Lady Di coming with the Fire.

    Nice.
     
  16. MiddleMan

    MiddleMan Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2005
    Messages:
    3,297
    Likes Received:
    270
    And regular professional women don't??:grin:
     
  17. ferrari77

    ferrari77 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    9,447
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Dude, she's been bringing the fire everytime she's popped into this thread.
    Lady Di knows she's bad and when she talks naughty it *** with the mind of dudes like me on here.
     
  18. BrieflySpeaking

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Messages:
    5,018
    Likes Received:
    356
    I want pictures of Lady Di now.
     
  19. Relentless

    Relentless Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    2,447
    Likes Received:
    215
    Isn't lady Di the fat black chick?
     
    1 person likes this.
  20. BrieflySpeaking

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Messages:
    5,018
    Likes Received:
    356
    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page