Both. But you get over the personal distress much faster and easier. It took a little while, for sure, when I first started doubting I pretty much hated myself and was afraid of going to hell and all that, but I eventually came to terms with it, and was no longer distressed over it. But, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok with the rejection.
I can't help feeling if there was something that could've been done to have prevented Landlord Landry from doing this. I said this in another thread that suicide isn't so much a selfish act as it is a self-centered act because you become consumed with your own pain to being unable to see how your life touches so many others. Something like this should remind all of us that our lives matter to many more people than just ourselves. If you are feeling in deep pain you should seek help if not for yourself but for all of those that care for you.
There isn't much anyone could have done. We have to remember we're pretty far removed and it is very hard to predict these sorts of things. Everyone goes through tough times and pain, it's part of each of our lives, and it is important not to feel guilt - especially for those close to him. He made his own choices as a free and independent man, and as tragic as that choice is, only he is responsible for them. My best friend and roommate tried to commit suicide and I did not even see it coming. The signs are always there is retrospect, but there was so much I didn't know about his life that I had learned. So many deep dark secrets. It was very painful and had he succeeded - which he came very close to - I can't imagine how much guilt and pain I would have gone through. The worst part is, my friend knew what he was going to put me through and had in fact planned for me to be the one to find him and call his parents to deliver the news...and even apologized for how miserable I'd be feeling. Once I truly knew what was going on, I realized that I could not have stopped him or persuaded him or do anything to have changed the course. That's not fair to ask oneself or anyone else. Everyone here needs to truly understand this. You served LL well by being his friend and interacting with him. Just by virtue of caring and wanting to have done more, you did all you could do. And you should be at peace with that.
i've seen eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. a few days ago i knew Rhien had posted that video on his facebook but i didn't bother to watch it. i just listened to the whole thing. considering what happened to him and the lyrics of that song are haunting. i immediately thought of my dad who has had two wives leave him. he could have easily given up too.
Damn, just sadness for his wife, kids, family and friends This Internet thing brings you so much closer to people, and this case provided me with some my favorite albums in recent years, thanks so much for this LL, something I won't forget when I listen This news makes me feel crappy but also want to give my wife, daughters and my CF mates a big endless hug
I feel this needs to be said. I'm going to get some heat for it, but if I were in his situation, I'd want someone to do the same for me. I don't want to send this thread to a bad place, so if no one even responds to this post I will be totally happy with that. To everyone making references to God, prayer, etc here: Rhien was not a religious person, in fact, it's evident he was the opposite. If you want to honor him and pay respects, you might be better served to leave that stuff out of your thoughts for him and his family. I don't think he would want to be associated with it. It's not that the gesture isn't made with good intentions, it just seems to ignore who he was and what happened here/to him. Everyone has to grieve in their own way and make peace however they can with unpleasant realities. But a little deeper consideration would probably be appreciated, if there is truly anyone to appreciate it around here.
Its obviously too late for Rhien but if someone else can be saved from this then something good will come out of it. I can understand feeling so in pain that you want to end it all but always remember you are not alone and your life has meaning to others.
People tend to grieve and offer condolences based on who they are rather than who the person was. Being religious may be more familiar to one person and that is how they know how to respond to situations like this. I personally find it insulting for anyone to tell me how I should pay my respects (as long as I am truly respectful). If I want to pray for his soul or pray for his daughters or his family that is my business.
And that's their call to make, but if anyone wants to consider the person or the circumstances a little more closely when offering their thoughts, I think it would be a nice gesture. Just trying to raise awareness of the man and his circumstance. No need to take offense.
Dear GOD Donny, please tell us youre kidding. Youre telling us not to pray for a man who wasnt religious? Im not very religious but I will pray for this young man and his family. SMH dude. I'll say a prayer for you also my friend Michael
I made that post with a very heavy heart, and you completely misunderstood it, and then made light of both myself and the point I was trying to make. I'm disappointed in you, man. No smilies here. Just sad. I'm not telling you how to behave. However, before people go invoking religion, you should know what you're doing, who you're doing it to, and the context of the situation it is being applied to before you do it. Something to think about. To me, people coming in here and bringing up god/religion is like going to the funeral of a gun control advocate who was shot to death with an NRA hat on.
Back to this thread.. I havent been here too much lately but have been dropping by. LL has been on my mind alot lately. I have searched for his music threads many times before this happened and he turned me onto some good music. I came back to CF BBS to this bad news. I dont understand why I feel so bad for this young man and have never met him. I hope all of you enjoy this one beautiful life that we have.
So, you are suggesting that if someone isn't religious, then religious people shouldn't pray for them or their family? You are asking people to forego their faith and everything their faith teaches. It does no harm and it is not disrespectful to pray for someone.
Even though he is suggesting that folks don't pray for his family (who apparently are still religious)? How is that a valid point?
Don't be silly Donny! Why should people show the very minimum respect and take into consideration LL's very basic beliefs! Seriously, this is not about him, it is about people saying the same trite, unthoughtful things over and over again because it makes them feel like they are good people.
Two things on my mind, LL's death and those Berry kids who lost their parents and are paralyzed. It's amazing how those kids are dealing with their tragedy. I guess when we get older life gets more complicated so it's much harder to be as optimistic as those kids. You reminisce more when you are older and trying to solve problems in your head that you think would better your life, but you never thought that way when you are a kid. Sometimes posters never post again and you never know the story. This story makes you think about your own life.
Sometimes its okay to look at things from another perspective other than your own. Sure, you may believe in God and you may cope with things a certain way, and thats fine...however, looking at it from a different perspective, if you want to come in here and pay your respects to LL...then bringing God or religion into the mix can definitely be seen as disrespectful towards LL, considering that God and religion were key factors in his death. You just should ask yourself: Are you posting in this thread because it will help you get over the fact that LL is no longer here or are you posting in this thread to pay your respects to him? If it is the latter, then it seems like it would only be common sense to think about things from LL's perspective...respecting his outlook. If it isnt, then post as you wish. Donny is just making a simple point. I think there is merit to it.
